Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

It's the magic 3 remember chez, it's your turn for good news tomorrow!

Eeeeek wishing ROCH the very best of luck for the jizz fest tomorrow. Go go ROCH!!! Keeping everything crossed for his best ever expression of manliness

Bloody marvellous news Fab!

Well done on the lining barking, hope it all goes smoothly.

No spaff from ROCH this morning, just wasn't happening
He's trooped off to the clinic anyway, mega stressed. Thank god we have those straws in the freezer, otherwise if they don't like what's on ice its op time. I just wish that I could do something but he wouldn't have it.

Oh Chez what a stresser it really is a ridiculous amount of stress to put on someone to perform isn't it. Even TWH who has never had the ttc failure (if anything the idea of shagging to get a baby put him into mega machine mode!) really struggled when it came to performing on the spot. As you say, thank god you managed to get those others in the freezer. Keeping everything crossed for you. And a reminder that this last time was TWH's worst batch and we still managed to get a win so you just never know what will happen.

chez poor roch . They'll get what's needed one way or another though. Fingers crossed for good news later .

Ah thinking of you both, poor ROCH. The whole thing is rubbish and such unfair stress but as Fab has shown, still the chance of a win

Urggghh! Fucking droid has arrived early which not only leaves me in pain over my entire holiday but also screws up what should have been a perfectly timed ovulation period over the bank holiday weekend. So back to planning Monday morning TTC bonks.

Poor Chez and ROCH - sending you Pa Tiok of patience (yup, Pa Tiok, check it out). Best of luck!

Oh Blue!! Sucks, doesn't it? I am usually pretty regular but I've lost of the counts of the months we missed TTCing because the droid arrived early/late. At this stage any work trips/holidays apart are carefully scheduled (when possible, obvs) not to coincide with ov but it somehow happened at least 3 times last year. So fucking annoying.

Lots of bonking during the week end may hit the mark though!!

Fab How bad is white bread for fertility? Don't mince your words, you knowleadgable hag, I can't stop eating white baguette with milk chocolate and I need some tough words to take me out of the pantry!

chez I hope you're ok, and that ROCH is bearing up too. The sheer stress of this whole bloody process is no joke.

Chez I can't stop thinking of you both today. I hope everything is ok. Have an unBESHly hug.

Erica - white bread and choc? You filthy beast . To be fair Chez is the knowledgable one on all things gluten based - I still do eat bread but only the stuff that has my own body weight in seeds and crunchy stuff so that I feel that just by eating it my jaw has had a workout. I'm not an anti gluten person but I don't eat huge amounts of it either and I would say that evidence seems to point to white bread, specifically cheap white pre-packaged stuff, being the devil's work. All the preservative nasties that they put in it seems to be what people's tums are really struggling with whereas if you were to have a white French baguette baked this morning and hard as a brick tomorrow you'd probably have no problem.

Of course having been on a healthy ttc diet for the last few years all of a sudden all I want to eat is toast! Can't stomach porridge for some reason or anything healthy so had chips from the chippy for my dinner last night and beans on toast for lunch today. I maybe need to give my own self a good kicking!

Any news from chez?

Hags, I'm back from holidays. Super depressed. Super jet-lagged. The sun is shining here, at least - though I am bitterly disappointed in not having a pleasantly heated pool and padded sun-lounger in my back garden. Sigh.

To compound my misery, the droid arrived on Monday, ruining the end of my lovely time. I had a full-on crying jag for about an hour, racking sobs and swollen eyes and heaving etc. Himself didn't know what to do and made it worse by saying things like "don't worry", "there's no point in getting worked up", and "it'll happen soon". I think this might have been the worst I've ever taken it. I don't know - maybe getting the medical 'shrug' had something to do with it. Anyway, I'm ringing the clinic tomorrow to see about the old dye-up-the-fanjo job.

I've been sort of following the thread over the last couple of weeks, but need to spend a bit more time reading up. If I've missed any major news, I do apologise and promise to do better in the future.

Fab - yay! Congratulations!

Barking - go, follicles, go! Keeping everything (legs especially, I have a touch of droid-related cystitis, and really need to pee).

cherry - poor roch. Hopefully the frozen stuff is a-ok.

Blue - pow to the sexy weekend-ruining droid.

Erica - white baguette with milk chocolate? As in together? I love, love French bread. That's been the hardest thing for me to give up. I still eat it far too frequently though.

Oh hags (or bags as autocorrect would have you) what a day! Super stressy trying to manage all this around a full day of meetings.

Good news and bad. We got seven eggs, hurrah! Five mature enough to use. The clinic used a frozen spaff straw, unfortunately not enough motility for IVF so we've had to have ICSI instead. Ch-Ching! Still, there they are, sitting in their embryoscope hopefully doing their thing and fertilising like good little eggs. Please wish us all the luck for good news overnight!

We're expecting another update tomorrow morning and of course I'm tied up again in meetings for the whole bloody time so another day of feigning normality while desperately trying to sneak snippets of news out of earshot of colleagues. Argh.

Off for some healthy tea and my last glass of wine - hopefully for some time, back later to do personals and catch up on your news. Thanks for the support and then fish you awesome crew.

Wow what a rollercoaster day Chez and all while you were in the office pretending all was fine. You are nails Hag! Keeping everything I can possibly keep crossed for your little eggies to divide successfully overnight.

Have the staghorn sculpin of support dear Hag.

Welcome back Bad! So sorry to hear the droid has hit you hard this month. Some months it just seems even more unfair than normal doesn't it

Ditto what fab said, chez you are one tough cookie getting through a 'normal' day at work with all this going on. Will get some Marvin Gaye going on the sonos for some super sexaaay vibes for those petri dishes of baybeee making magic. Hang in there hag, we're all with you.

bad welcome back! We've missed you! Sorry you're having a particularly hard time this month, it's always bollocks but some months just come that bit harder for us. Post Holiday blues won't be helping either - have a gurnard of getting through it, cos you will my lovely!

RAF is cooking me dinner and it smells fucking awesome. I am So. Fucking. Hungry. I honestly hoped after a few months this dieting lark would just become the new normal and I'd adapt but no, my stomach is still a tubby girl's stomach! Still, I reached my first goal yesterday of losing 5% of my starting weight, woohoo! Just another 7lbs to go....

Well I'm attempting to chill out now, afterall there's nowt I can do to influence it! doesn't stop the menkul

Get on the carb comfort food Fab, you bloody deserve it you little diamond you. Erica on the other hand. Ahem lady! Get yee out the pantry and mitts off the White loaf and chocolate! Everything in moderation buuut...

Gluten is not inherently bad unless you have a sensitivity to it, if you do it can be a big contributor to worsening autoimmune conditions and inflammation. It has lots of sugar, which is also inflammatory - not good when TTC and is very high GI (glycemic index) which can spike blood sugar. All these combined raise cortisol which is a stress hormone. Not only is this intrinsically bad to be stressed but it blocks the receptors of other hormones, notably oestrogen and progesterone which prevents their take up by systems that need them. V important for pregnancy. You knew it wasn't great though right? And for most people a little is OK, just don't eat the whole loaf right?!

Bad and Blue, spectacularly bad droid timing. What a downer.
Continued COW Barking!

bad sorry the droid got you .

Chez well done for getting through the day, how's roch doing? I'll be playing plenty of shexshy chunes attempts dodgy Scottish accent to get the jiggy going in the petri dish .

It's three days before potential EC so DCW needs to clear out the tubes but he's tired and grumpy and I really don't feel like helping him out .

Oh and chez what I heard there in your explanation of bread and sugar was yep, pic n mix is a great idea, there was no need for you to bravely walk past it in the supermarket yesterday, pick some up next time.

I dread to think how much I've put on throughout ttc but right now I don't flippin care!!! Hopefully I won't need to worry about it for a few more months either and I'll miraculously not put on a pound and then drop a stone when I lay. hahahahaha!

Btw am now humming let's get it on by Marvin Gaye. Thanks hags and go go Chez's DEggs and Roch's frosty spaff!

Barking now is the time to tell him 'just bloody well go and have a wank!'. He really is doing it for the team and if he doesn't he'll only have himself to blame!

Somehow missed your entire post rain?! Good work on the weight loss! I've actually been working on the opposite. To maintain sanity during our enforced break while waiting for the rmc tests I started training again, particularly attempting to regain the almost six pack I used to have in my twenties . Anyway, all it meant was that the iui needles were way more painful the second time round because I didn't have the required inch of flesh to pinch to put the needle in, so it was going into muscle. Woo needles were more painful because again they were going into muscle not fat. And worst of all the nurse asked for my height and weight and questioned whether my bmi was high enough to meet the limit for ivf . So the lesson learnt was that I needed to eat more and exercise less. Extra energy for egg production and none of it wasted on exercise. But I'm trying really hard to eat good stuff, even at work. Lunch at work today was two slices of wholemeal, seeded toast (I do so love crusty white bread) with scrambled egg and baked beans, lots of protein . Dinner tonight was the BESH recommended butternut squash casserole with natural yoghurt and cucumber. I may have had a tunnocks caramel wafer this afternoon Last night we had spicy lentil stuff (absolutely gorgeous recipe from my bro) and tomorrow will be butter and chilli chicken with brown rice (another meal I made and froze at the weekend).

I think a little chocolate will also help the protein (milk chocolate) and energy levels

Fab I did just that! I asked him relunctantly if he required my assistance and he said he'd never felt so wanted and headed off with the ipad.....

Lol Barking!!! Well done I totally felt mean for doing the same thing (if you remember TWH had a fever and really couldn't do it that evening but once the fever had broken in the morning I told him he had to get on and deal with it!!).

Well done on your softening up too - that must have been really hard mentally when you'd worked so hard for it and it must have felt like the opposite of what you wanted to do. I on the other hand have no problem with pinching an inch for my stabbing adventures!

cherry, that is great news. Hopefully they are fertilising away like billy-o as we speak.

rain, well done on the 5% - that is brilliant. I've been up and down the same 7lbs for the last 18 months. I was the thinnest I've been since I was a teenager at the wedding two years ago, and the only way the scales were going was up when we got back from honeymoon - I put back on a stone or so pretty quickly! I could do with keeping the 7lbs off, to be honest, but for the last six months, I've been doing pretty much nothing due to relentless ttc obsession, and I'm a little soft. Definitely an inch to pinch. I like being thinner, but I don't have the mental energy at the moment to care about it too much.

barking, well done you - you've done enough already ;)

Oh GOD: back to work tomorrow. I'm taking an admin day to ease myself back in though. My plan is to go into the office, but that depends on whether I sleep or not. Fecking jet lag is the fecking worst.

Argh, wide awake again . I actually thought it was morning. I don't feel stressed, just keep waking up at random times and can't sleep. Last time I had random insomnia this bad was the first time I was pg but I'm only cooking eggs, not hatching embryos right now!

bad have you passed on your jet lag?!