Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Woah Barking, that's some heavy shit, what a bizarre rollercoaster of a 24hrs you've had! I'm kinda not surprised where your mental block is. I'm pretty sure mine would be there for sure, but I've no doubt it'll take some processing for you to come to terms with. They fuck you up for sure your mum and dad, they may not mean to but they do...

As for the dreams, what can I say, you didn't tell the BESH, WTaF?! Confessions such as this are little short of treason all that imagery, some woo dream interpreter could have a field day. Hope you're feeling a little less freaked out. Yup, the fake diffed dreams are weird!

Well, good news for me hags, dildo cam this morning declared le womble perfect despite the lurgy and the sofa dwelling of the last couple of weeks. Phew! I've also had a blood test to make sure oestrogen levels are above 500 to give better chance of sustaining a pregnancy. Never heard of that before but it's good they're on it!

Looking likely EC next Mon, TX Thurs or Sat depending on what happens. Gulp!

It's Gonna be a Clusterdiff for my hags!!! Go Wombles

Hurrah for your luffly womble, cherry! COW! Are you planning to take time off between EC and ET/ after ET?

barking the baby dreams are weird (and frankly I find them awful - the waking up to find it's not true). Not surprised you are feeling a bit spaced out. Hope the hypnotherapy helps you work through your ishoos. I suspect my own ones are to do with not dealing with failure, having always been good at things. Who knows, maybe my mum is implicated in that! Wouldn't surprise me. Can I ask a bit more about the experience? What happens in the sessions?

chez Whoop! for the perfect womble! Good skills!! Ooo, I'm still expecting to be a week behind you, lead the way to the holy grail oh wise and mighty cherry!

Blue are you feeling ok now? Lurgy under control?

Fizz The dream was sufficiently tripped out that I didn't really wake up believing any it! I know what you mean about the 'normal' dreams that take you a minute to realise aren't reality .

I'm feeling really good now - very emotional during the hypnotherapy session when the stuff was coming out, but even within that she talked me through and calmed me down and by the time she brought me up again I was feeling ok. In the sessions she talks you into a calm place and then just talks, and brings you out again. You never feel out of control, it's just a bit sleepy, like you are just before you fall asleep.
She records each session and sends me the file afterwards so that I can listen at home. I'm happy to send you the mp3 from last week and you can have a listen? That was the first session so it was quite generic, just helping me feel calm and positive about the IVF, nothing really personal to me. Just pm me your email address if you're interested. I'm just in process of cropping last night's, as the first bit and last bit were great and made me feel lovely, but I really don't need to listen to myself talking in the middle!!!!!

Just had my woo needles and talked it all through with her while the needles were in. I luffs my needle lady. fankle, if you're lurking as if you've got time right now , thanks for the recommendation, she's ace! .

I'm actually in an IVF cycle right now, and I'm feeling ridiculous serene. Even when I delve into myself to try and find some anxiety cos I'm that stoopid , there's nothing there! It's bloody amazing. I don't care how much it's costing for the head woo and the needle woo, something is damn well working!

not working on commission try me again before the scan and we'll see how well it's really working

Hi all, just wondering if I can join you? I've been an absolute bloody state this week and think I need to find some other ladies who get what I'm feeling unlike all my fucking friends who get pregnant at the drop of a hat I am 34 and been ttc since October 2013. God that is depressing when you write it down! Had a mmc in June 2014. Mood swinging between hopeful and, when in 2 ww like now, mean as hell and bursting into tears at anything and everything. DH and everyone else seem to think I'm a bit unhinged so really hoping I'm not the only one! Also would love some tips at this stage, as we just shag and haven't tried anything yet (temp monitoring, ovulation kits etc). Gp has said they won't do anything until ttc for 2 years! Sorry for the big long rant! Hi and hope this is the right thread for a sweary crazy lady :)

Hi Mrs, this sounds like exactly the right place for you but I must refer you to the BESHtionnaire at the top of the thread - this must be completed in order to gain entry to the BESH (and gives us a good opportunity to chuckle at your crushes ).

For the record I would strongly question your GP on that 2 year thing. On the off chance that you need to go down the assisted fertility route (and let's hope you get diffed naturally next month!) please check as soon as you can what your PCT will cover on the NHS. Mine only covers you up to your 35th birthday and some GP's seem to like making you wait until it's too late to get support through the NHS. Nice.

Barking well done for entering your woo zen zone, that sounds amazing!
Chez, well done on your perfect womble! And to the two of you COW/E!!

Barking with your hypno woo did you do regression stuff to get to the cause of your blockage? I did that, thought it was mostly bollocks but I'll go with it and felt amazing for about a year!

Blue, are you better yet?

AFM, I'm more tired than I've ever been. It's official! I could hardly even get out of bed yesterday and after my walk I had to crawl back in and slept till 1! Then did practically nothing for the rest of the day as I could hardly keep my eyes open. I'm hoping today will be better as I'm doing my sister's accounts - I'm imagining a comedy moment of face planting the keyboard....

chez COPW! That is great news chick, let's get this show on the road!

erica the 'should have been' anniversaries are the absolute fucking pits. I hope you're ok hag

blue hope you're feeling better. I absconded from work at lunchtime today as I feel vile, but it's not a cold. I was all shivery and headachey and kept feeling like I was made out of sponge. Prone on the sofa now and feeling less rotten but still not right.

don't mind if I do! How's it hanging with you?

fab hope that financial paperwork is keeping you busy! What are your plans this weekend? Please allow me to start getting over excited on your behalf for next week.

barking I honestly felt a bit teary reading your last post, (feel free to punch me). So happy you're in such a good place - I am definitely going to consider this hypno woo, it sounds so positive just on its own merits. I'm not very good at just switching off, would you say you are good at that?

mrs looking forward to your BESHtionnaire! We're going to need some new recruits with the mahoosive cluster diff that's about to happen!

Well hags, we got our letter from the clinic today! We are officially referred and now we just have to wait for the letter indicating when they can see us. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed it's not a long wait, I want to go to PESH land with you all!

Hey MrsM Sorry to hear you are having a hard time and about your mc. It sucks. This is a safe place though! Looking forward to the BESHtionnaire! :)

Barking Wow, intense! But sounds like it's helping! Good for you! I also suspect I have some 'mummy issues' when it comes to the mind-body-getting diffed connection. I've been discussing it with my therapist but I get really upset when we do because I can reflect and ponder as much as I want but I can't actually thrash it out with my mum so I am thinking maybe it's not a massively productive path to take at the moment. In any case, it's amazing how the subsconscious work...

Blue Hope you are feeling better, lovely!

Oh Fab get your rest! You sound super diffed! What better excuse to stay in bed eating ginger nuts?

Cherry Well done wobble!! More COW, COE etc etc.

Clusterdiff is in the air!

Rain I am crossing everything for you!

The droid arrived today, a couple of days early but all in order, cramps from hell included. Rain is right, the 'would be' anniversaries suck. We are making plans to go on a lovely holiday for Easter but I can't stop thinking that I got diffed during Easter last year, so I am a tearful mess, cuddling my hot water bottle and crying over the news. I am putting pressure on myself to be diffed by May this year again, which doesn't help ...

I will snap out of it for the week end, hags! I've allowed myself to wallow in self pity but it's time to BESH UP!

Mrs it feels like forever, I know, but you did get pg naturally in 8 months and there's every chance you will get pg again. However, I would echo fab's excellent advice. Ignore your gp and research online. There's a website that lists every area and what your entitlement is to fertility treatment. I went to my gp after 1 year and was referred for investigations, but we had to have been ttc for 2 years before we could get treatment (and we're now at ivf after over 3 years of ttc as two iui cycles and two miscarriages prolonged things somewhat).
Get your beshionnaire filled in, have you not read from the top? .

Fab you just relax and enjoy being preggers!!! All that sleep is giving energy to the baybee in there .
There was no regression stuff with the hypno, she just at one point asked my subconscious if there were any blocks preventing me getting pregnant and I lifted my right hand (signal for yes) and she asked something else about what they were and I started getting all these jumbled thoughts, which she then helped me see more clearly. I remember it as five minutes, but in the track it's over fifteen.
My woo zen some collapsed today. Shit day at work started by cracked eggs inside my bag. Over everything . And then my computer didn't work. And then big fat pg colleague was in. And then I was told I couldn't have the day off I want (there are three of us in the same area at work, and the other two have already booked holiday so I'm not allowed to be out as well). So to be fair it's general shit day bollocks, I've not got any ivf related stress yet

rain hope you're not waiting by the letter box too long!!!
I am completely rubbish at switching off. And concentrating. My hypno session on Tuesday went something like '...and your feet are firmly rooted in the ground....' '......imagine green pulsing light....' '.....now you are going to let the bird out of the cage...` and so on.... Clearly it works on a deeper level as I was totally failing to consciously pay any attention but still got great benefit from it! And I have the track to relisten to.
Again, if anyone is interested just pm me your email address and I'll send you the MP3 track from the first session.

Erica I have easter issues as well, it's when my first was due and we were on honeymoon for the edd last year. Keep thinking it should be 1st birthday time next month, not wondering if the ivf has worked and whether it will be 3rd time lucky for holding onto a baybee if we are .

Anyway, after that mammoth post I've made myself late. Last turbo session tonight before I take it easy (I'm going to be hiding at the back and cheating on the easy setting, I'm going more for the social aspect - just explaining myself before Fab tells me off ).

Sweary lady step right in, right after you've completed your Beshtionnaire at any rate. Sounds like you'll fit right in around here and you'll find these hags the bestest most supportive ladies going through all thisTTC shizzle.

Sorry you're feeling spongey Rain, great news on the referral through, rest up and get well soon. You too Blue, two hags down, bad times. Diffed snoozles don't count Fab!

Enjoy your last turbo sess Barking before its all go to concentrate on COW. To you and Erica dealing with anniversaries as well, a trebuchet of turbots for your distress. Just don't forget how amazing you are.

Fizz I'm planning a few days off after TX but as we're having DEIVF I don't even have to be there for EC. I'll be at home washing my hair having my roots done I'm feeling a tonne better thank goodness so the name of the game is to be ready in body and mind. Form OTD of woo shizzle on the cards and eating well.

Luckily they haven't upped my oestrogen after yesterday's bloods. My norks are frickin massive as it is.

chez glad you're feeling better .

My shit day continued eight up to the end yesterday. On my way to turbo I realised I wasn't wearing my engagement ring, just my wedding ring. I hadn't taken it off, had no idea where I had lost it (found it 3 hours later) then got home to find that all the programmes I had recorded over the last 3 weeks had inexplicably wiped themselves from the machine. All the folders are there, nowt in them . I was looking forward to watching it all this weekend to keep me sane as DCW is away on a stag do . It's not all available on catch up either .

So I decided it was best to start my day (when I woke up to heavy rain at 5.50am) with some hypno woo!!! Feeling a little more relaxed now. Work is manic though, so just looking forward to getting through today really and getting home for the weekend. I was going to see if I could go and stay at a mate's house for some company, but the thought of getting up at 7am at the weekend in someone else's house to start mixing injections felt a bit inconsiderate!

barking blardy hell, that is a fucker of a day! Hope today has improved and that you've relaxed into the weekend.

cherry glad you're feeling better. Not long now! Sorry about my dense-sounding enquiry about time off. Must engage brain before typing!

fab are you hibernating? Excessive tiredness has got to be a good sign :)

I have a weekend at home for the first time in aaaaaaaages. Hooray! Not madly looking forward to mothers day lunch at GFBW's family's house on Sunday though. I have been "ill" for the last couple of years (sometimes physically, sometimes just not able to face it). Think this year will be a bit better.

What happened to our newbie? Did we scare her off with our demands for the beshtionnaire? Or are we not sweary enough? Haven't had a quality swear for ages. Shit. Feck. Cunt. Bollocks! That feels better!

So, I guess Easter and Mothers Day can just jog the fuck on! Maybe we need to declare an official BESH day where the customs will be drinking as many forms of gin as possible, eating all the Ben & Jerrys and swearing at anyone who talks to you. Oh wait, that's just Saturdays.

barking I hope you sort some decent tellybox stuff for your chilled weekend! Maybe this is a good time to take out one of those 30 free days Netflix/Amazon Instant offers. Failing that I recently discovered there's quite a lot of old 80s films available for free on YouTube! (Spent a happy morning recently re watching Drop Dead Fred)

fizz hopefully she comes back! We abso-cunting-lutely need some fresh meat on this fred, cos we'll all be diffed sooooooon!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend planned, Mother's Day permitting. I'm not up to much, going shopping for a new spring time coat tomorrow, it's getting a bit sweaty in my big woolly one on the tube.

Aaand breathe everyone, it's Frickin Friday! I've done the bare minimum for Mothers Day and sent a card shrug. For the rest of the weekend I shall mostly be pleasing myself Fish of fortitude for all those enduring otherwise.

We have some firmer news in the varability that is IVf. Clinic called to say EC will definitely be next Wednesday, which means transfer either Saturday or the following Monday, so things have slipped but only by a few days. Luckily I've managed to move the holidays with it and come up with a plausible reason for doing so. All good. I just have to carry on being ready.

I also feel much heartened by woo needles lady tonight who said my energy feels very different and much stronger than the last cycle. So I'm taking that as a good omen. Right, off to snaffle more drucks to keep this ere womble tip top... Night hags.

Woohoo for the weekend!!

chez I get constantly baffled by the fluid timing of these things - how do they know it will be next Weds? I assume they scanned the donor yesterday and the trigger will be Monday? Is the clinic closed over the weekend? That would then make sense I like things to make sense even when they have nothing to do with me With long protocol I understand they have more control over when they decide to take them, so they can schedule as suits the clinic. If my follies are on active duty as they should be our dates are going to get closer!!! This had better bloody work for both of us, I'm not leaving you behind!!!!

I managed my antagonist injection this morning eventually, but only after I disobeyed the instructions and dispensed with the turning the bottle upside down - I couldn't get the liquid back into the syringe that way!!!

I have decided to have a massive cooking session this weekend so we can stock the freezer full of healthy food for the next three weeks. Any recipes you can recommend hags? I would like some new inspiration.

This is delicious barking, and it freezes really well.

Drank wine last night for the first time since Christmas, only two normal sized glasses and I felt awful this morning!

Posting from phone so can't do concise links I'm afraid but this is amazing! www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/oct/07/foodanddrink.chicken

My protocol was extended by a week due to my follicles not stimming the way they wanted to so the extended the time and boosted the drugs to try and get more of them up to a similar size.

Well done Chez on being in a good needles woo place - my needles woo lady said my pulses were the best they'd ever been when I was doing ivf....just saying

Stoopid mn app won't let me copy text so I can't open that link, Fab, will take a look next time I'm on my laptop. It took 2 hours to get to the supermarket and back in Saturday traffic and get all the ingredients I needed!!! I'm knackered now, never mind cooking, I need a lie down!!!

Well, two and a half hours later I have 7 portions of spiced red lentil soup and 8 portions of butternut squash casserole, as well as 8 chicken breasts in a marinade waiting to be made into butter chicken curry tomorrow.

I've even cleaned the kitchen.

Feeling like a domestic goddess .

Can you channel some of that domestic goddess energy my way? I've done precisely nothing useful at all today, which means tomorrow is going to be a total bore of tidying, cleaning, visiting mothers and doing some work I meant to get done yesterday.

How much detail have you all shared with your families about your treatment? My immediate family know we're going to have ivf but I keep getting messages/comments asking when etc. I know they just want to know because they care but I'm not sure I like being pestered about it!

rain, nope, sorry, need to keep all my domestic goddessness to myself or that butter chicken won't get made tomorrow .

We've told pretty much anyone and everyone, we are OUT! My mother doesn't really have time to ask questions (let's not even go there) and MiL fortunately doesn't call me so DCW gets all the pestering . Friends don't pry but are very supportive when we tell them where we're up to.

Total, epic fail with the cetrotide injection this morning! I followed the instructions but when I stabbed and started pushing the plunger in I could see a sizeable air bubble. I took the needle out, did the tapping and squirting again, and stuck it back in (2 jabs for the price of one). But there was still an air bubble! I figured I'd just keep going but not push the plunger all the way down. When I took it out I started bleeding - not the small blob of blood I'd had a couple of times, bit a 'shit, get a tissue' type of bleeding. Once it stopped, I could see a vein that had gone greeny/blue and it was hard to the touch. Over an hour later it's still a hard lump, I can feel where the injection went in without looking, and it's a line rather than just a tiny lump where the needle was (had that before). Just to really rub it in, I still had to do the gonal f injection while trying to stop the bleeding from the cetrotide! Typical that DCW is away this weekend!!! Still, keeps it all interesting.....

Shattered now as been awake since 6am (snoring dog woke me up) but picking up a mate for a dog walk at 9 so best get a wriggle on!

Heard a phrase on the RMC thread yesterday that made me smile - chuck it in the fuck it bucket - that was a new one on me!

Argh, just lost a loooong reply. Morning hags!