TTC and still breastfeeding? You're not alone! Thread# 2

[peardrop2]

Marking my place...hoping I won't be here for long

ISpy that sounds like a very unusual case your poor friend suffered from because most people would have organised to have someone help in advance or have DH look after dc2, surely?!

Eggs beans - I shall continue to TTC through dec and jan. I think for the child's sake early December would be best but you can't pick these things as we all know so I'm not worrying about it. We only have so many eggs so I'm not going to waste time over it. I can see a clear benefit...dh has less work during jan-march and we won't have so many visitors around Christmas which I will love as I hated managing that part last time!i just wanted to be left alone to recover.

Really struggling emotionally with weaning but it has only been two nights. I' m glad I'm doing it slowly and I still have the 7am feed.

Yes they only threatened to call SS as she refused to be induced Christmas Eve due to childcare being difficult but her dc1 stayed with a friend and was collected about midnight! Just mean that it was all very stressful and she was cursing herself for being due over Christmas! Completely understand about wasting eggs though! My ds was born early on the same day as my friend's baby who died (4 years earlier) I felt so bad but couldn't have anticipated it as all my others were way overdue. You just can't plan these things.
With regards to weaning don't be too hard on yourself Pear it can definitely do strange things to your hormones (obviously, that's the whole point!) I seem to recall Kellymom has some info about how it can cause quite depressive symptoms so look after yourself.

Thanks ispy I shall keep that in mind. I don't feel so bad today so maybe it is just time.

My CbFM sticks have arrived in the post today so I am ready for round 4. I've made two meals today so I'm actually ahead of myself for a change!

So sorry to hear you're struggling, Pear. Glad you still have the precious 7am feed. I hope you're breastfeeding your DS's little brother or sister around the clock before long x

Eggs, I had planned on taking a 2 month hiatus over March - April to try to avoid being kept in hospital for nearly a week, like I was with DD, and missing Christmas with her... I know that beggars can't (shouldn't) be choosers though... But I did hope the decision would've been taken out of my hands and that I'd be pg again by now though... que sera ... x

Everything sounds so complicated for everyone. :(
I don't think many people realise how confusing and weird and gut-wrenching this ttc while breastfeeding thing is. Not to mention the guilt aspect. I used to have a great and expensive shrink a few years back after the nhs royally screwed me over and i felt forced to go private, which was doubly ironic as she actually work in the nhs too! and I would willingly survive on bread and tomatoes for the next six months to have some sessions with her during this time.

Update. After ff told me I ovulated on cd10 for this first post-partum cycle (for new people I had had no AF for 10 months after DC was born and cut down for purposes of ttc from feeding on demand to two feeds a day in the space of four days. It brought on ovulation in cycle 0 after three weeks, but I only had a luteal phase of four days before AF arrived. Very disappointing as we shagged our hearts out trying to get a bean in there before first AF showed!)
I had had no positive opk around cd10 though but temps and ewcm seemed to correlate a bit. Oh and this last week bf DC on demand again as been really quite ill.
Then yesterday on 13dpo/cd23 I had a positive opk!!!!!!! So DTD last night in emergency measures. Guess we will see what happens now.
I'm also taking b6 (50mg and 100mg eod respectively) to try and ensure a longer lp this time around but didn't check with my gp about this first.

phew

Good morning all!

Well caught Aurora! Really hope it's done the trick!

It's funny you mention counselling actually, I was just thinking about this. I'm so conflicted about everything. I really wanted to feed ds2 for as long as he wanted as I felt so pressured to stop with ds1 and dd and I'm much for confident about 'extended' bf this time. But I also really wanted to have had another (and last) baby by now. My eldest just turned 11 and I'm worried if it takes too long we'll have to stop trying ??

I didn't ever really realise what a contraceptive effect bf had as the midwives all warn you not to rely on it. I figured the reason AF didn't return after my others was because I had the implant put in but I'm realising now it was more likely the bf.

Ispy, I remember being in hospital after I had dd and the midwife explained that dh and I will need to be very careful with protection as I will be very fertile now - I felt quite excited and thought that sounded great as my dc's would have the 2 year age gap I wanted! Ha! How naive was I?! (Ava goes off to have an 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' moment)...

Ava, exactly! I was hoping for a 2 year gap but not a 1 year gap and was anxious to avoid the apparently super fertile time right after birth so I even had a coil put in! Promptly had it removed after about 3 months when I realised this ttc business was not going to be as easy as I once thought.

How I wish now we'd just tried straight away!

Aurora - you know you can't rely on the app right?! Well done for catching it on the OPK! Fx that the 2ww flys by for you. You can always chat moan to us. We're more fun and waayyyy cheaper then any RL councillor

Wow I hadn't even considered the thought of not being with DS on Xmas day because I could be stuck in hospital. I really hope that is not the case! He wouldn't remember though...not this year at 2.5. Makes me feel a bit better about it.

Cd5, help Mary!!! This is going so slow I've managed 1.5 days without biscuits and crap. Got along way to go!

Well,Ispy, a 1-2.5 age gap would be my ideal, but we've missed that window unless, by some miracle, we have conceived this cycle (doubtful) I think natural child spacing means children are ideally spaced about 3 years apart (?) so I've gone from hoping for a 2.5 max age gap to thinking of the benefits of a 3 year gap to feeling, well, if we conceive again at all at any time i'll be lucky... Sucks....

Has anyone else got these 'ideal' scenarios re child spacing correlating with their ages in their heads? Or it just me? I know that, since my early twenties, I've felt that I'd ideally have my first dc at 33 (done) my second at 35 and my third (if we got broody again) at 37 - as if I'd have a choice! I could technically still make this 'plan' a reality if I got pg by May / June this year, but as positive as I'm trying to be about it I have to be realistic too, and I'm starting to feel that I would be incredibly lucky to even have a second, let alone a third, by 37...

Think I'm just a control freak and hate that I have absolutely no control where ttc is concerned...

Trying not to be despondent but ttc is the only task I can think of where, no matter how much effort or work you put in, there's no guarantee of the reward at the end...x

Ava, yes! I wanted a 2 year gap and was dead certain that I would get it However, I have read that when you're bf the 3 year gap is more likely to happen because that is apparently how our bodies were naturally meant to be spaced something. Give birth every 3 years?! I'm sure there is some truth in that somewhere. Anyway, I've excepted I will be closer towards 3 years now. Anytime from now would work for me

Is anyone else holding off buying clothes? I sooooo need clothes but I can't justify buying new clothes if I'm going to be back in maternity clothes soon! It's so tempting to splash out!!

Definitely treat yourself, Pear! You deserve to splash out! And if you're savvy with the styles you can still wear them for the first trimester - I have invested in lots of tunic and swing tops and M&S pull on jeggings (I love my skinny jeans) they are soo comfy, can be dressed up or down BUT have an elasticated waistband! I hated the button on my regular jeans jabbing me during the first trimester last time... x

Hi all, great to find a breastfeeding/TTC thread. I'm 30, TTC No.2 and still breastfeeding my 15 month old in the morning and evening (and sometimes once during the day if she asks for it).

My periods came back around 4 months ago and were very heavy, with long cycles and as we had decided to wait another year before TTC I went on the mini pill but now we've done a complete u-turn and changed our minds and want to start trying straight away. Ironically, on the day we decided this I actually got my period, which I wasn't really expecting as I thought most women didn't get one on the mini pill. So I have stopped taking the pill but am a bit unsure about whether or not this would be considered a proper period and if I can count cycle days from the first day of bleeding. Anyone have any idea?

Last time round I didn't use OPK's or chart temps or anything (though I probably should have as my cycles were long and all over the place!) but we DTD every other day from CD8 to CD28 to make sure we cast the net wide enough! We got lucky the second month of trying, so am keeping my fingers crossed for the same good fortune this time around.

Welcome Duchess, it sounds like you have a lot going in your favour so hopefully for your sake you won't be here long!

I guess 3 years is quite a sensible gap in many ways but as hardly anyone seems to bf, especially not natural term, much smaller gaps seem to be the norm these days.

I'm finding it quite difficult when friends/cousins who ff announce (usually on fb) subsequent pregnancies in record time. In fact 'quite difficult' is rather an understatement!

Hi Duchess ?? I really hope the mini pill hasn't messed anything up for you. Is that the pill that you can take whilst breastfeeding? I have no answer for you, sorry! Will you use any OPKs this time?I hope you get lucky and fall pregnant straight away

Ava - Thanks for the wardrobe tip! I've seen some Jeggins I might like from white stuff. I didn't really get many casual maternity clothes last time. This time I've promised myself a mini wardrobe because it's so important to me that I feel comfy and look good. I won't have to get work clothes so it will be much easier! I won't splurge but I also won't scrimp as much as I did last time.

I Bumped into my friend with her newborn today. Punishment just keeps coming However, it is night 3 and ds continues to except no bf, I am very proud of him! I have had two days of healthy eating. AF should bugger off tomorrow and I will soon be back into OV town!!

Ispy - hah hah I feel your pain Why is just because we make the right choice for our babies to bf them longer then 6 months that we're then punished by not being allowed to have a baby at the time we would like?

Thanks for the welcome guys

Pear The mini pill is the one you can take while breastfeeding, but I am definitely wishing now I hadn't started it! We were so sure we would wait but then a few pregnancy announcements/ visiting newborns swiftly changed our minds! Am holding on on to the hope that the fact I have still had a period (if you could call it that) while on it means I haven't thrown ovulation completely out of whack. We will see!

Have been looking at maternity clothes online today, wishful thinking Last time round I bought a lot of summery dresses with elasticated, under the bust waistbands so that I could wear them no matter how big I got. Would definitely prefer some decent maternity trousers/leggings this time as I seem to spend most of my day on the floor, playing and crawling around after my LO!

Duchess - I lived in my pregnancy leggings from Seraphine. I have been trying not to look at their clothes until I get my BFP. I might have a tiny peek. It is always good to have hope!

I've got 3 congratulations on your arrival cards to write. I've been putting it off and putting it off I just don't want to be feeling this way anymore. I deffinately need a more positive attitude!

Oh Pear I'm trying soooo hard not to be bitter about it. I recently messaged the bf counsellor from the NCT bf group I used to go to about how hard I'm finding the decision to night wean or not. I may have mentioned being insanely jealous of some of the other group attendees who now have 2 and are tandem feeding. I think she thought I was implying they must have weaned too early or something as she sent me a really snippy reply but it wasn't meant like that at all, it just all seems so unfair.

I hope you're feeling better about dropping the bedtime feed? I remember being surprised how quickly I adjusted to stopping bf my other 2. Within a few days they seemed so grown up and I couldn't believe I'd been BF them days earlier!

I had an email today inviting me to a Maternity Clothing sample sale. Isabella Oliver, Babes with Babies, Seraphine etc....at 70% off! ??

Ispy - I wish I could say I feel better about it but I would be lying. I miss it and I think I always will. It would be so hard for me to do this at anytime because I've just had the most amazing bf journey I could have ever wished for with my DS. I've done the best for my son though and at each stage I've cut down really slowly. At 10 months I stopped the in the night feeds and he then slept through the night and then at 12 months I introduced cows milk and he only had two feeds from me (7am7pm) and now at 21 months I've stopped the 7pm feed. I am now praying that I can continue the 7am feed for longer then I originally imagined. DH has asked me whether I regret not stopping earlier. How can I regret such a precious time? I wouldn't have changed anything. My only wish is that I can continue and fall pregnant at the same time.