The February bus rumbles on - only stops are Valentine's Day, Pancake Day and BFP-land. Ding Ding!

[MrsGingerbread]

Hello ladies,

Last bus looks full up. Unless there is a new one that I can't find...

..sorry Sparkly, I meant to add that, if you have a further temp rise tomorrow, I deffo wouldn't bother with AI; it would be pointless. Have a rest!

Rainy, you sound so utterly despondent so I shoplifted bought you these from t'petrol station Listen, I think you need a cuddle and and a bit of perspective. How long have you been ttc? How many of those months can you say you threw everything at it and had lots of sex in the five days prior to ov? Do you use opks? Try to remember there is only a 33% chance each cycle of conceiving - even if the couple are young and fertile and 'normal'.

I think your spotting is significant and I don't think you should have to wait before going to see your GP and telling him/her you are getting increasingly anxious and upset and you suspect you have a progesterone deficiency Ask for the day 3 & day 21 tests. Be brave. Do you want to carry on feeling as though you are in the dark with your fertility? Course you don't! Take charge of the spotting now

Wishing, I am really scared that you'll get a bfn tomorrow and be heartbroken. I hope with all my heart it's positive. Steel yourself

Purdey oh thanks for even looking at them!! Did I send November or only October?october was first month of AI so don't think there was ever much chance of it working! FF doesn't always give me the red OV line! I feel sure it was cd 18.. And if so I think We did enough?! Oh wouldn't it be so lovely if it actually worked this month. Try not get my hopes up though!!

Rainy I think as much info you can get is great and would prob help you to talk to her!

Sparkly, it didn't confirm ov for me last month but I had been poorly so funny temps. I know I ov'd as I had 21 day bloods.

Oh wishing big hug. So sorry.

Oh no! Wishing! We crossed posts. I am so sorry

Sparkly, I am terrified of you getting a bfn this month because you have chucked everything at it and it's your post-mc cycle and your hubby is so lovely,a nd you are just gorgeous and sweet and brave, and you eat shite such healthy nourishing stuff and your life is so hard Have hope but keep a cool head. You have time. Lots of it. We simply can not force these things as desperate as we are

P.s..no, I haven't seen your November chart

Yes I did but I needed another wee..that's what's weird..im weeing more n feel sick n had strong smells..ive jus been cryin coz I'm an idiot to think I even was..I didn't want to get excited but with the symptoms icoukdnteay help it! Sorry for the me me me posts! Xxx

Hi ladies, my bum is firmly planted on a seat waiting for V-day.

Having a bit of a meltdown this evening. Been feeling super positive over the last couple of weeks but that has disappeared today. Why am I not pregnant yet. We're doing everything right. If it doesn't happen this month I'm going to be crushed. I want DS to have a sibling. I want to experience one more baby. I feel like my life is on hold. I'm not being as good a mum as I should be I'm so distracted. The next week is going to drag so much. I'd like to look for a new job but I'm staying put because of potential mat leave. I've got it into my head that my last birth has done some serious damage (20 hours of labour, failed ventouse and emcs). It was brutal. It must have done some damage. I must be scarred and broken and we can't afford any treatments. And I feel guilty because we're so completely blessed to have wonderful DS.

Gah. Sorry.

Hugs wishing x x

I'd like to apologise here to tessie, who I think rolled her eyes at me like this: yesterday for one of my posts. I was wrong to bring up the Stephen Fry debate here and it was very un-Christian of me to besmirch him for his views. Sorry, too, for the overshare post about my tribunal. I've been horribly lewd, too, in recent days, so apologies for that, too, if anyone was offended.

I'm off to bed now, nanight

Thanks everyone! Just had a big hug off DF as we wer both convinced..im upset n also angry at myself xx

Wishing crossed posts whilst I was ranting, sorry about the bfn :(

Spinning, can I be an absolute pain in the rectum and ask you to post a photo of the chart that didn't pinpoint ov but that day 21 bloods confirmed? I am intrigued and feel it would be helpful to see.

Wishing so so sorry sending I don't know if it's poss to get a bfn then a BFP Tomor if it's not fmu, I'm sure others will tell you. But either way... Sending positive thoughts to you and if it is a bfn you will pick yourself up again and it will only be a couple weeks and you will be back on it again and in the meantime we are all here for you

Purdey pie. I know I know. Keep the head! Ha ha. I shall... Like you say, is easy to get desperate. I'm gonna think positively but whatever happens is what's meant to this month! Thanks so much for your support. Always! Ps I don't do compliments so I'm going off to blush in the corner and say- YOU ARE WONDERFUL! Oh and Here's my nov chart

I can't retire to my bed after reading your anguished post, Coffee. I think you are panicking and it is making you have irrational thoughts. Firstly, it is easy to believe that surgery/miscarriage/difficult birth has 'broken' us. The body was designed to be brutalised during labour and we are quick to heal after some of the bloody and injurious conditions of our time squeezing these babies out. I promise you that nothing you went through has broken you. Women who have had babies ripped out of them in Rwanda have gone on to have babies. Women who had several backstreet abortions in the middle of last century went on to have loads of babies. Women who are ripped apart by breech babies are healed and go on to have families.

How old are you? How long have you been ttc? How long did it take to conceive your child? Are you taking charge of your fertility the best you can (temping, oks, supplements)?

When you said this: I'm not being as good a mum as I should be I'm so distracted I could have wept. I feel exactly the same. I have a ten month old baby girl here who spends far too long playing alone because I am researching how best to get her a sibling. I'm 43 and time is running out. Fast. But I'm in real danger of losing sight of this miracle I already have. Take charge of your fertility (get the basic tests done at your GP surgery) and stay rational

wishing and coffee*
Cd 20 and nothing going on - if the giraffes don't turn up can I join the V - day poas party please?

Purdey, here's my last chart

Well aftertaste symptoms I convinced it's because iv lost 16 pound in 3 weeks..Im Not having enough calories in a day n that's proba why I feel tired n sickly..there's no other reason for it! Guna concentrate on gettin to the aize I want not tho k about it now as it jus makes me feel so down getting bfn or coming on early! Fed up now feel like it's never guna happen xx

Sparkly, v quickly: you are more wondrous than Cadbury Twirls. Fact.

Your November chart is a slow riser too! I reckon that is linked to the three-day surges, do you? Everything seems delayed, no? I don't see a problem with any of that (you got pregnant after all!) but I really don't like this spotting situation you have going on. I fear for the little embryos you are bound to be making. Please tell me to shut up about it if it is simply alarming you; I just want you to get it sorted out

Purdey thank you so much for that post full of sense. I'm already embarrassed by my outburst. I don't really have people I can be fully honest with about this irl, my own choice I guess, so sometimes it explodes on here.

I'm 31. We started ttc last July taking it easy at first as that's how we conceived DS who is nearly 3 (after 2 or 3 months). Health wise I could do with shedding some pounds but otherwise fit and healthy and so is DH. I use OPKs and have starting tempting and I've had confirmed ovulation this month which is reassuring. I take conception vitamins and we're using preseed. Thankfully DH is up for dtd as often as possible. I'm going to give it another couple of cycles and then I'm heading to the GP to start some testing.

I really hope your little girl gets her sibling soon, thanks again

Aha! Spinning! FF couldn't pinpoint ov simply because you didn't have the requisite six pre-ov temps to compare to the first three post-ov ones (not sure if you read the FF blurb I posted at the end of the last thread explaining the 'three over six' principle they use to pinpoint ovulation?)

Thanks Purdie, we have been ttc since last June, and no we haven't thrown ourselves into dtd as much as we should at the run up to fertile week, we dtd on my second peak this month , which I know isn't going to help, I have suggested dtd every other day once af has finished and oh thinks that we did not do as much as we should , I did try but oh felt ill, I'm going to make a doc appointment once af turns up ,is it day three you need to get tested for blood test?

Ah yes I did see your post Purdey. I didn't really temp properly because of me being poorly. Doing a much better job this cycle! And now I'm off to bed, night all

Coffee, don't be embarrassed. My reply was embarrassingly bossy - but it's so easy to see someone else's irrationality, isn't it? I wish someone would occasionally slap me in the face with some truths just to calm me the feck down. I wouldn't worry about the extra chunk. I don't believe it's an issue for women ttc who are otherwise healthy. It doesn't make sense to me when I see millions of enormous women getting pregnant.

Where do you think you could've got scarring from? The cs cut itself? Were there problems with the healing of it? If so, I would encourage you to go and ask for a scan of your uterus. I do think, though, that your fears are highly likely to be irrational. You have lots of time and mustn't look at the instadiffers on these buses who fall immediately. We are all different. I think you've got months and months yet before I would even begin to start thinking I had a problem

Purdey I've never wanted a twirl more than in the time we have chatted!!! I really must invest in one and live a little ha ha !! Yes I agree.. Slow riser!! The spotting- agree too. It's always bothered me but never a Gynae as my prog day 21 is sufficient apparently. However, I fully intend to ask for monitoring of it more closely when we have our first fertility app in a couple of weeks and dh will be there to back me up. I'm just not looking forward to getting my charts out as I've heard a few say that they ain't interested!! The odd thing is my temps tend to be at their highest when I spot?! Like I said before... I'm a mutant.

Rainy, at the risk of sounding like a patronising twunt can I repeat what Zita West claims is the issue that sends lots and lots of couples scurrying to her clinic asking for IVF? They don't have enough sex. And not at the right time. When she sat them down and grilled them about their sex lives it turned out that they simply weren't having enough of it. I can say for sure that there have been many, many many many months on my three year ttc journey that I didn't have nearly enough sperm in situ when that egg was released. Have the tests by all means but try to up the ante in the bedroom. You don't need to do it to the point of exhaustion. Using opks you can start to have sex regularly five days before ov and then the day after. That would cover all bases.