The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

fab wise words once again, I think it did provide the opportunity to talk about things you otherwise wouldn't want to bring up out of the blue, like how he is dealing with the mc's and not having a baby. And he did promise that he was still open to adoption if we hadn't managed one of our own next year (he'd made a couple of negative comments recently that worried me).

Great joke, going to be difficult not to hear that next time I see a pack of maltesers!!

I'm pleased it's cleared the air a bit barking. Sometimes it's exactly what you need to start the proper communication on a tricky subject. I had weeks of bother when we were building up to our second ivf with me getting monumentally fucked off that TWH wasn't excited about doing it again. My mind was in turmoil - why wasn't he excited, were we doing the right thing, did he want children, did he want me if I was barren etc etc.??? turned out he wasn't excited because he didn't like seeing me in pain and specifically as he does my injections he didn't like being the person causing me pain. How lovely?? So all my anxiety was over nothing but it took a fairly monumental row for him to actually admit it - he didn't want to say anything as he didn't want to stress me any more than necessary and couldn't understand how not being clear with me had actually caused me much more trauma!! As it is a little stab from a needle isn't something that bothers me and is all part and parcel of the fun (ha!) and it's important to me that he does my injections so that he feels fully involved in the whole thing. This time round we are so much better and I feel loved and supported and we are much better at this communication lark! The plus side of waiting so long to get a win is that we've had a really good chance to know that we are right together and that we really are a team

Vom stuff over - everyone ready for Christmas??

The BESH are going to be the G.I. Joe of TTC in 2015, I can tell!

I agree with Fab - all this infertility bullshit does really test a relationship but man, does it strength it too. I can't remember the last time we had a row about something silly, going through this crap does put thing in perspective...

We still have the occasional 'do you EVEN care if we have babies?' - 'Of course I do, I just don't want you to be so unhappy about it' etc etc but on the whole we are so much more solid than two years ago.

I am ready for Christmas and 2015!!

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! I just typed out lovely (whingy) messages to you all and my crappy phone refreshed and lost it all!
I'm sorry I haven't got time to re-write it but basically, I need to know all of your weird crushes and to reiterate that 2014 can get to fuck.

I'm due on Xmas eve or Xmas day so will be very angry in a couple of days. I will then get onto the computer to do a proper reply to all of you lovely hags

Oh man that is so so fucking annoying! Have done it too many times!

Just trying to remember who my crushes were....I think my male crush was probably any of the geek boys from the csi progs...I married one of their tribe so it stands to reason really! I'd also go with Scarlett Johanssen in the Avengers Series only. Super hot in that.

Have just made my last batch of mincemeat, done my final Christmas food shop, am doing baking, running presents over to a friend, running husband to work and back (an hour away) soaking a ham and going over to a friend's with my mincemeat so we can have an evening of making mince pies (and I will watch everyone get drunk - sigh) then Wednesday is collect turkey day, prep it, whip up red cabbage, cook ham and run husband around to various appointments as he can't drive due to having had a bad back for 6 weeks. Somewhere in there I have to wrap the presents too. Feel like I may be slightly running short on time!

Wow fab, you had a busy evening. Very domesticated too, I must say - homemade mincemeat, very impressive I'm ashamed of myself compared to your festive wonderful-ness!

The man reaction thing is a weird one. In our house I am the 'jump in with both feet' brigade and ROCH is the 'hang on a cotton picking minute there lady' type. Hence yesterday when the consultant said we would probs be cycling in Feb I said 'cooooool!' (Oh the irony, how very uncool of me) and he gulped and said 'scaryyyy'!

Glad you've cleared the air Barking. What Fab-looks-like-our-resident-domestic-goddess said. She is wise.

So yeah, we could be good to go again soon which is awesome. Though how we add the jizz to the equation, not so sure. This one is on the cusp of being too far to do a home delivery and poor ROCH got stage fright yesterday and couldn't perform. He says he reckons all these rooms are designed by women. An extractor fan whirring overhead and a ticking clock on the wall... Awesome interior design skills there.

The upshot is the consultant isn't sure whether we should go the immune testing route before this cycle. We're on the cusp with my POF history - possibly caused by immunes - the raised anticardiolipin whatsits and a failed cycle under our belts. But it's an extra £2,000 on top of an already eye watering bill. She's going to read our notes and get back to us...

Right, off to Sainsburys along with the rest of the world... Blue is it you at the consultant's today? Hope it goes well and you are fast tracked to trreatment.

coop I can't even remember who my weird crushes were, sorry. On the losing posts thing, I now habitually select all and copy as I go through, and before posting, so that if it crashes the text is still saved and I can just paste it. Been caught out too many times...

fab I'm in awe. I haven't wrapped any presents (bought presents for only my siblings and parents and threw those in gift bags I had left in the cupboard). My best friend I sent a moonpig card offering our babysitting skills for a weekend so she and her husband can leave their two kids with us and go away for a weekend (which, to be fair, would have happened anyway). I haven't bought DCW a present and he's not got one for me. Christmas dinner will be a ham baguette somewhere in the middle of a bike ride.

When I say Christmas isn't happening this year, it really isn't!!

x post cherry. This is probably me being cynical, but could you get the immune testing elsewhere cheaper? ie private medicine but not a fertility clinic?
Whoop! for Feb though. Could you help him along with the old deposit, as it were?

barking, I am very jealous of your non-Christmas Christmas! I can only dream...

Coops my crushes of shame are lost in the mists of BESHdom too thank god our only wish is to judge those of our dear newbies

Interesting thought re the immunes Barking, they're talking things like natural killer cells which I think may be a fertility specialist field. Also, they like to do their own tests, sigh. Hence ROCH needing to perform yesterday despite having recent alnalysis results from 'tother clinic. At the moment I'm erring on not testing, except for this nagging doubt that my ovaries didn't just give up the ghost on their own... Who the fuck knows, it's all a massive gamble.

Having just fought the Christmas crowds to join in with the mass consumerism I think there's something to be said for the simple style Barking. I've been weighing it up in my mind. I love the getting together with friends and family, eating nice food, buying lovely gifts and the happiness that comes from all of that. There's definitely a tipping point though into the uglier side of commercialism, greed and vanity.

Oh and on the 'helping' front, I did offer but I think we were on to a non starter. A few hours and a different environment later and the issue was no more. I did participate in round two!

For Coop we don't use the acronym DH/DP round here. 'Tother halves have their own abbreviations so my dearly beloved = ROCH or (Rock of Coconut Household) to give him his full title.

Meh, don't shoot me down grammar police, not sure why I put that in brackets but it's too hard to change on the stoopid iPad keyboard!

chez in that case you need Prof Bosen or Quenby at the Coventry clinic - nk testing for £500... It's NHS but you can self refer as a private patient.
Also, a lot of clinics will use the protocol without the testing - usually involving progesterone and heparin. I learnt all this from the lovely ladies on the RMC thread. I was considering it, but after they found the blood clotting issue with me, I decided to go for treating that first. If I have mc 3, I will be running to Coventry and camping on their doorstep.
Even if your clinic won't take results from elsewhere because they'd rather charge you more if you come back clear you'd know you wouldn't need the tests.

Thanks chez, I'd assumed it was your beloved-s you were all referring to by these wonderful abbreviations but wasn't sure of the theme! I think I'll just go with MrC for now

ROCH is one of my all time favourite BESH acronyms

I had my Chicago tests done for about £1800 last year and then as I tested positive for a couple of things I managed to get my GP to then refer me to a rheumatologist who promptly repeated them all again for free, although it did take about 6 months to do tests, repeat tests, do more tests etc, when the original tests were all done in one go and I had the results a month later!

I would recommend doing them but it is yet more money so if you can get the referral that Barking's talking about then is do that for sure.

I hear you on the commercialism bit and with all the money we are spending on ivf and house renovations, and not earning with me out of work and TWH currently off sick, the Christmas pot isn't as big so I've been putting my non fee earning time to good use by giving the gift of my time and dubious culinary skills. Hopefully people will appreciate the former if not necessary the latter!! A jar of biccies and a jar of mincemeat to anyone who's not family is the general plan and people seem to be quite happy with it....hopefully!!

Ugh, I caved to my own naive optimism today and tested - bfn of course! Topped off by a lovely set of circumstances around our previously blissful adults only solo christmas plans (namely newborn at Xmas eve drinks tomorrow and newly diffed friend at Boxing Day do) - have been feeling sorry for myself and simultaneously angry all day like a true BESH. Two sneaky pints with a good pal colleague at 4pm cheered me up a bit!

chez ive heard about this Prof Q lady - she sounds like the biz but not exactly simple if your clinic are iffy about trusting anyone else's tests.

coop I can't remember who my weird crush was either, might have been Alexander Amrstrong - something in the eyes! I am wedded to RAF, which is for Real Ale Fan or Farts depending on how many pints are involved!

Last day in the office tomorrow, it's basically a write off already. Pub at lunch time, home by 4!

You're fucking kidding me Barking? I'm so much in disbelief I could out myself! Coventry is where we had failed cycle #1. It's the one we can't get a follow up appointment at for love nor money. February I ask you. For a cycle that ended in October. You might have to camp on their doorstep to get to see anyone to impart their expertise. Are they seriously the dogs b's? We may never know at this rate

You can come stay with meeee if you end up visiting though!

The bit that does interest me especially is the bonza idea of following the protocol without the tests. The don't give you that option in the clinic do they! I already take aspirin/Clexane but the idea of the rest, the decisions and the implications have plunged me into a bit of a quandary. Was failure #1 bad luck or is there more going on?

Fab, i'd be very happy with yummy homemade gifts, think that's a gorgeous pressie. Evening Bugs, enjoying being back on the gin?! Good to see you round these parts with your festive cheer.

I'm now procrastinating on making round #4 of mince pies... Tin is bare again!

Morning hags. Rudely awakened by raging cramps this morning, af well and truly in full flow, then burst into tears when Mariah Carey all I want for Xmas came on the radio. Hysteria done with for now, and I've gotta go to work. Happy fecking Christmas

Maybe that's why you can't get an appointment cherry, there are woman travelling from all over the uk to get an appointment there, and because you have to do the tests 2 months after your last mc they will be booking up all the appointments 2 months in advance and more

There are a number of women on the rmc thread who are currently pg on the Coventry protocol, and they all credit Coventry with getting them a sticky one after many mcs. It sounds like the only standard thing you're not taking anyway is the progesterone? I thought this was standard for IVF? If they find the nk cells then it's the steroids as well. I've definitely heard of someone taking those empirically though, just in case, without being given the tests. My consultant likes the word empirically. There's no clear evidence any of it works, I'm just being given it in case it does...

xpost coops, just .
Gin. Gin is the answer.

I take dexamethasone to build up egg quality then prednisolone from egg collection for the next 16 weeks (if it actually progresses to a fully paid up pregnancy of course!).