The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Fab that is so frustrating, but you've waited so long it does make sense to wait a little longer to make sure you're 100% before you commence throwing everything at your body to construct the temple fortress of a womb to beat all wombs. Secure foundations and all that.

I shall definitely be doing silent fuck you high fives and grinning to myself. Cheers for that .

Oh, and there's a third new born. I forgot. Not exactly a newborn, one conceived and born while mates were living abroad for 18 months. But they arrived back over Xmas so we'll see that one soon as well. That one won't be so tough though as they understand it's difficult. They tried for years and had a mc and a failed ivf before a shock bfp whilst waiting for the next ivf, and they moved away for a while partly because everyone else in this social group was popping them out all over the place and they'd had enough.

chez glad you got through what must have been a very tough Christmas in parts.

I have cleared out (bathroom cabinets and cupboards) and cleaned the bathroom to within an inch of its life. The theory is to repeat this for every room in the house before I go back to work on Friday .

Knew I'd forgotten something. chez it's a weird phone call to make but it would answer questions so just do it. Come straight out with 'this is such a random question out of the blue but I hope you don't mind me asking...'If you try and make too much small talk first you might chicken out or wonder how to naturally bring it up. You never know, you might find someone who understands what you're going through as well as finding some answers .

Silent fuck you's could work in all sorts of situations, I'm so stealing that!

Thanks Barking oh wise one. It's all going on this morning... Spoken to cuz who was very receptive to my weird questioning and very happy to chat. Upshot is she doesn't have the same as me but has had lots of problems followed by a total hysterectomy a couple of years ago. Really shiz but plenty of solidarity there which is nice to find.

Also, the clinic have rung to ask what we want to do next either we proceed with immune testing at an added cost of £2000 which will take us until about March to complete and effectively freeze us on the waiting list for a donor, so to cycle May time with any added insight we could get. Or they have two donors to offer us this week, to go straight into treatment.

I'm in such a quandary. ROCH doesn't want to do immune testing and stopped watching World's Strongest Man only long enough to tell me he is adamant that if this cycle doesn't work we should give up on having children.

I could have killed him there and then except that would definitely scupper any future treatment.

Our one failed cycle and additional history only puts us right on the cusp of the immune conundrum right now. It could of course have been plain bad luck. Or we could be throwing good money after bad by cycling without full insight to whether there's an underlying problem. They won't treat empirically but I would be on aspirin and Clexane.

Apart from the fact we don't have £2000 the idea of being able to start so soon is definitely clouding my judgement. I'm talking myself round to if this one fails too, then maybe I clobber ROCH to have one last throw of the dice with bells and whistles. Why is this so hard?! Any BESHly wisdom or get up and go husband thoughts appreciated.

Afternoon chez. I don't know your full back story but from what you've just said, might it be best to wait? I mean, apart from the £2000 you don't have beg borrow and steal the money, but if I were you I'd need to know. If it is immune issues is it something easily gotten around? Sorry, I'm sure someone more useful will be along soon, didn't want to leave you without a BESH-ly response.

Oh, and give ROCH a slap from me!

Hello cherry, was thinking about you over Christmas. Glad you and your family were able to make the best of it.

Have the sturgeon of sympathy for the current headfuck. In your shoes I think I would be tempted to cycle now, if there are two donors available that fit your requirements. Any chance you could accept the donor egg, then freeze resulting embryos, do the tests, and then do a FET once you know the info? It seems surprising that ROCH would be so adamant about not cycling again - is it the first time he's said that? Might it just have been a bad moment caused by testosterone fuelled tv antics ?

fab sorry to hear about the delays. As if being poorly wasn't bad enough! Def best to do it when you are back on kick-ass form again though.

Just my pennys worth but I would probably go for the cycle now. There are very few women who are actually diagnosed with immune issues. For many it's just implantation problems and the aspirin and clexane will help with that. £2000 plus a 5 month wait is a lot to ask. I went down the testing route post mc2 as you know, and I'm glad I did as we found a potential issue. However, if someone had told me at the start that having had the mc in June I wouldn't be able to ttc for another 6 months I might not have bothered. The percentage of women they find an identifiable problem with is so small you could be waiting all that time and spending the money then still not find anything. Are you still going for your follow up appointment at Coventry? I'd be interested to see what they said. If you have another cycle coming soon you could call and try and get a cancellation or something? The women on the rmc thread seem to get quite speedy responses by email etc when they need one - ie they are pg again but haven't had their follow up appointment to prescribe the recommended treatment.

Fanks hags, knew I could rely on you for some sound BESHly advice, feeling a little less meh for reading that. Fish slaps please, I'm surprised at myself for feeling so down about this.

I've been out with the horse this avo, talked to him about it (he's good at advice, honest) and got some space on the issue. On balance I'm feeling like perhaps we should give this one a go and see what happens. Barking I'm heartened by your comment that there are few people diagnosed this way. If you read some of the forums it seems everyone who gets tested comes back with some sort of treatable condition. Yes, still going to Coventry in Feb.

Time for some cheese Gromet to make it all feel better. I think I'm resolved to ring the clinic in the morning for some donor details. Now that's a bit exciting sorry for the all about me posts, watch this space I guess...

If you don't mind chez I'll ask on the rmc as they're really knowledgeable about all things immune etc.

We've got two dogs at the moment. Accidental differ friend is now 7ish months and it's very snowy/icy round here so texted to see if she wanted us to take her dog out yesterday. We've got her again today and she's staying overnight so we can walk her again tomorrow as the pavements are getting worse not better. I like to be able to help from a distance - ie being useful without having to see the bump that I would have also had about now... Keeping the dog overnight means I don't have to see the bump tonight and again tomorrow morning... not that I would have done as I'd have sent DCW round with her anyway

Glad you feel better cherry, I know nothing about immune issues so not much help enjoy your cheese

Aww barking, that's very nice of you, and good thinking on the "helping without seeing", I like that

Chins up BESHs

Me neither Coop from what I gather it's pretty complex. What does matter is BESH support and you def win on that score. That would be amazing thanks Barking. I'm quite excited now to ring the clinic in the morning and find out about our potential matches.

Good practical style help that is there Barking, oh I really want a dog.

chez some answers.... Hope it helps.

 I'm no expert (except in rip-offs-ville - what a cheek not accepting results from other places and then charging those prices!!! I'm sure a GP would run a few basic tests), but I'll tell you what Prof Brosens told me at our first appointment. He said that implantation is hugely a complex process, which is still little understood. There are cases of 'unexplained' RMC - no clotting issues found, and cases of women with clotting issues never cause them any problems. That's why he and Prof Quenby think there's more to it than simply having a clotting issue or not, although I presume that having a severe one would impact on your baseline odds of having a problem. I'm not sure where that leaves your friend, but, since its only (!!!) 1:100 ladies who have RMC and only 50% of those who turn out to have an 'identifiable' (by the NHS) problem (read as anatomical or clotting issue). Profs Brosens and Quenby do say that the uterine scratch pre implantation increases the chances of success in IVF cases, and I don't know whether they would do that as part of her current treatment? I hope this helps? Good luck to her, whatever she decides.

I agree that the number of women with immune issues must be

thank you Barking that's v v helpful, I totally get the 'never seen a negative result' comment. I was thinking the same from my limited surfings.

We've decided to give a next cycle a bash and have been offered two donors to choose from this morning from the clinic, both sounding equally suitable in different ways. What a quandary! It's a bit like playing God... Is height difference or sense of humour more important...?

Height difference. A sense of humour is very individual, might not be the same as yours!

I did an opk this morning. First time I've bothered in months and months. I'm on cd16. It was a positive, not a massively strong line but clear and as good as they usually get with me, so ov predicted in next 36 hours. I jumped on DCW this morning. So now I'm obviously expecting to not get the droid and start IUI in a couple of weeks as I'll be getting a bfp instead ignoring the fact that it's never happened naturally before How's that for blind optimism and pointlessly setting yourself up for disappointment ?

Also very bored. It seems cleaning and tidying isn't that exiting after all. Who knew? Got three shelves of 'stuff' to sort through this morning. All that crap that accumulates because it doesn't really have anywhere else to go. So I'm tempted to go back to bed instead as I was awake early, and a half an hour attempting to make a baby session has tired me out .

You're on hols - definitely go back to bed. Because you can!!!!

Height definitely the most important!

I would also definitely get the scratch done Chez (well I am so I would say that ). But my clinic now does it as standard for everyone doing ivf and quite frankly anything that helps the little blighter's chance of sticking is a good thing in my books. You get clexane and aspirin as well so then only other thing you're not having is the intralipids. Seems like you're doing the right thing lovely. Xx

The sechsing and tidying in one morning Barking? Definitely get yee arse back to bed, and for some chilling this time

I was wondering about a scratch Fab but our FC were a bit ambivalent about it when I asked. Painful and not very popular was their assessment. But maybe I should push.

Hags, I think we have selected our next donor, squeee! EC due end of Feb...

Painful yes apparently (although the drugs I took yesterday morning (and wasted - grrr) for my un-scratch were according to my pharmacist very powerful pain killers so hopefully my clinic likes to be in the generous side . But from my research and from what my clinic says it's the latest fertility must have for us who struggle to with implantation ishoos.

Ps barking - well done on the sechsing - feels like ages since TWH and I had any of that shenanigans what with all my illnesses and his dodgy back probs. I wonder whether we might be well enough for a treat on new year's morning?? Ooh!

Hello! just popping in en route to rustic heaven!

chez that's really exciting, way too late to offer my opinion but I think you've made the right choice. obviously this cycle WILL work bit if it doesn't you might have even more info to use then plus more time to talk ROCH round if that's what you want.

we saw our gynaecologist for the last time today, we're now officially being referred for IVF - gulp. got to get day 2 bloods redone before they'll see us so allowing for that plus current wait times at our clinic hopefully we'll be cycling sometime in March. time for a quick FUFC???

Glad they dish the good stuff out Fab, even if you didn't need it this time.

We've asked for a mock transfer anyway as that was a bit of a fuck up in our procedure last time. They're going to do that about three weeks out from TX so from what I've read that might be a good time to get them to do a scratch as well while they're in there.

Hey Bugs great to see you. We can opt for embryo glue with our clinic so will probably chuck that one in the mix as well - in for a penny and all that.

Ooh, Rain that's exciting, definitely time for a FCFU but even if not that's no time at all to wait. Have an amazing time, see you in January on the short road to our BFP's. Long overdue cluster diff coming right up. Something needs to end the drought round here and I'm predicting a spectacular change of form. God knows we all deserve a break.

Tell me it's fucking worth all this heartbreak Bugs?!

Just checking Bugs, glad to hear it.
As you were, back to the buffet all

Oh Hags, sounds like it's all go round here. Fingers crossed for the cluster diff (we just have to PESH and CRESH together after this)

Life has been a bit rubbish lately, no more than everyone else has been dealing with but just to explain my absence (I hide and lurk when I'm not up to posting) but I'm still here and sending lemon sharks of luck to everyone

Gonna be around more from now on

Grr. Just got in from DCW's night out and catch up with uni mates. Loads of them there, some he hasn't seen in years. Only one baby and one kid actually in the pub by the time we got there, which I mainly managed to avoid. Couldn't stop the 'has x had the baby yet?' / 'we're moving house as we need three bedrooms now' / 'what have I been up to? Oh, bought a house last year, baby is due in April' / 'MiL is babysitting, really looking forward to a lie in' etc etc etc. I did a lot of 'oh we've just come back from Spain, did NZ and Cyprus this year, as well as summer in France, USA last year and cycle touring across Nepal next summer. Oh, you've got a baby? Shame... ' After a lot of silent fuck you high fives. Cheers for that one fab .

DCW has now been sent to sleep in the spare room as he is very drunk. If I wake up with a hangover and he doesn't I'll be .

Squeeeeee! for the donor chez

fab are you feeling any better?

rain hope you're all settled in your rustic heaven!

Good to see you bugs, glad the shit is worth it. Clocking up 3 years is kinda depressing, I really hope I'm not here next year saying the same about 4!

Didn't see your post there blue, I hope whatever shit you've had to deal with is past tense now. Here's to 2015!