The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Thanks muchly lovely Hags - happy last few hours of the weekend to you all (and hoping bads was especially happy if you see what I mean )

Morning hags. It's freezing. Snow and everything.

So, Himself and I had a bit of a fight last night. I sort of tried to get him onboard, but he wasn't really feeling it. Honestly, neither was I, but I got a bit cross. This is the first time the shag-on-schedule thing has been an issue for either of us - and it wasn't just him, it was me as well, I really was not in the mood, and I was so resentful of the whole thing last night. It didn't help that we went to a party with his friends on Saturday night and three of them announced. Three!! I feel pissed off with us though, because that was some fertile cervical mucus (sorry) wasted. I'm hoping that Saturday afternoon's shag, and hopefully some make up sex this evening, will be enough. I don't think I've ovulated just yet, but I'm pretty sure I will have by tonight.

Fab, we're off to Florida. Himself has relatives in Fort Lauderdale and we'll spend a few days with them, but we have three days in Miami and five in the Keys. At the moment the weather is mostly sunny and in the mid-20s. I actually might die with excitement before the weekend.

bad there's nothing like ttc to ruin your sex life. Haven't had one of those arguments for a while but they're really rotten. A cuddle and a mutual apology usually fixes things chez Rain, hopefully you guys are the same! Your holiday sounds like an excellent chance to just forget this shite for a week or so, wish I was going on one!

Hags I have a sort of ttc related question for you. Obviously the untimely demise of lovely rainy cat has left a rather large cat shaped hole in our lives. Rainy cat 2 is still here of course but he's very Rudyard Kipling-esque in his attitude to human companionship. So of course I've been thinking about maybe getting another cat (possibly two littluns) but then I stop and wonder if that's totally mental when we're about to start ivf. Any of you got a helpful opinion??

My gut feel is get another one Rain!! But of course you'd need to be aware of being even more careful than normal around animal poo etc.. when doing ivf etc.

My all time low of people announcing diffment was my first due date post mmc and 11 people had babies in that month. Unreal. I had to block a lot of Facebook posts in order to maintain my sanity. And Rain it really is heartbreaking seeing the other half playing with other children isn't it.

Bad I hope things are better today and that you've managed to time things well despite everything.

Btw - we're almost at the end of the thread...any thoughts for a new theme? Three is the magic number?? And who's going to start it this time?

Soz for the cluster post - brain of sludge today!

Cherry how are you feeling? Definitely time to concentrate on you - I hope you are snuggled up in a duvet watching easy viewing on the telly. Forget about everything else and get that body baby ready

Sorry I'm late to the OMGIVFTWINZ party. Massive giant luffly congratulations to you Fab! This is joyous news and I'm so pleased you got your long awaited BFP. In true BESH style too. Tumultuous times but oh so worth it for the win. Fingers and all other appendages crossed for a speedy 3 weeks til your 7wk scan and an even speedier next 5 weeks. If only you could take a sleeping pill and wake up around the 16-20 week mark. Oh and not having morning is fine. Don't worry too much about lack of symptoms yet.

Happy anniversary Barking I'm v impressed both by your adventurous outdoor swimming pursuits and by your forthcoming ivf- wise decision hag. May the luck of this Fred be on your side. You too Chezza just concentrate on getting back to full health.

Announcements are a total bitch to deal with. I still get stabby at them sometimes. So is ttc pressure to perform and subsequent arguments/ resentment. It's par for the course but really not fun. Seeing other halves with children goes straight for the jugular too. Everything provokes a major emotional response.

Fanklet's got thrush. Which means I have it too. On my nipples. Ouch!

bad very of your holiday in warm climes! Hope you've made up. Sex to order can get very annoying.

rain get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat get a cat

Fab definitely 3 is the magic number for the next thread!

fankle lovely to see you . Sorry about the thrush .

In an effort to tackle the 'mind body fertility connection' I'm off to see a hypnotherapist tomorrow night. I had to fill in a 4 page questionnaire to take with me! She's going to work bloody magic, that she is. And if nothing else, she can keep the menkul under control through the ivf....

I think the next title should be Sesame Street style, this thread is brought to you by the magic number 3 and the letters I, V and F. In a time machine.

barking hypnotherapy has always fascinated me! I don't think I'm terribly suggestible but part of me would love to give it a go, the mind/body thing definitely is worth exploring. I hope it goes well!

I totally didn't even wait for any responses and emailed the cats protection lady this afternoon. off for a swim now!

I Know I should take charge of the next fred - that title sounds ace. I think I may be the only BESH left by then, you hags having exciting times coming up (ps. Don't leave me alone? Pop in from PESH land to visit me when you go?)

Badb TTC sex sucks! We've had an awful run of it (and looks like we are about to hit the 4th month in a row of not being able to ttc bonk as Mr Blue has been called away for work last minute - honestly, someone is having a serious laugh at my expense somewhere)

Oh no about the thrush fankle! Although thanks for enlightening me - I do love to hear the gross natural delights of new babies (I expect to be a super cool and prepared mum one day thanks to all I've heard!)

Yay for the new fur babies to be I think it can only be a positive although you'll have to screen them for a cuddler (extra fur cuddles reduce stress hence good for IVF)

Barking I still can't believe your anniversary activities - I went for tapas and wine on my first anniversary. You are a crazy lady incredible

Oh and I'm keen to hear the reviews on the hypnotherapist - I went to one for weight related issues once. It did arse all so would be good to know if I just got a duff one or if it is tosh

Here kitty kitty. It's a yes for me Rain!
Love the idea of a numbers and letters feem fred guys, go go go for it I say. Don't worry Blue, we're not deserters yet!

Please spill on the mind body experience Barking, sounds fascinating. I've been thinking of prepping a few affirmations this cycle for myself, similar ethos by the sound of it though slightly more cheapskate less technical approach, probably employing an old cereal packet and some felt tips.

Owchee Fankle, sounds a bit toe curling to me. I hope Fanklet improves soon for the sake of all.

Have an amazing holibobs Bad, hopefully a chance to get away from the cold, the differs and rekindle the loving. Says she who couldn't feel less like playing hide the sausage right this moment. Totally floored by this flu bug and still hiding under the duvet. Off to get some vits down me neck...

Any, erm, symptoms yet Fab? Have you a scan date yet? What meds are you on?

chez she's not one of these therapists, but I noticed the questionnaire she sent me was from these people

It was after the book I read, about possible mental blocks stopping you getting pg - common after recurrent miscarriage as your body subconsciously protects you from further pain - that got me paranoid that the ivf still won't work as deep down my body is terrified of being pg and losing another baby. So, that's why I'm chucking more money at this shit. Thought I should get it in before the ivf.....

rain excellent thread title! Go for it blue (but not until we've wrung the last bit of luck out of this thread!!!)

I'm a fan of hypnotherapy - hope it works for you barking! My clinic offers it but I chose not to have it as I felt content with my acupuncture and drugs regime and my general levels if comfort throughout ivf but if I'd have been feeling more stressy then I wouldn't have hesitated. I've had it for other stuff and it made a massive difference.

Bad - woohoo to that holiday - sounds amazing!

New thread theme sounds perfect - blue don't worry, I'm definitely not ready to leave just yet! Just hope you hags don't mind me hanging out here still until I'm brave enough to move on?

Chez, bollox about your flu - there is no way out of it other than rest rest and more rest. Be kind to yourself please.

I'm on pregnacare Max - 3 tabs once a day (I have the MTHFR gene mutation so it's the only way I can take on board folic acid - nothing else works apparently), clexane 1 injection once a day, cyclogest - 1 pessary twice a day, progynova - 1 tab three times a day, prednisolone - 4 once a day and calcium tabs 2 once a day. I've got lower abdo cramping mostly all of the time which sometimes I hardly notice and other times stress about but apparently it's all normal. My boobs are fluctuating from the nips slightly hurting if I give them a prod to throbbing all over whilst I do nothing and waves of exhaustion. All good hopefully. Scan booked in for st paddy's day and I will be 7 weeks 3 days hopefully! I suspect it's going to go very slowly....

Rain how did the Mog spotting go??

Good to hear Fab I'm currently on cd25 and so impatient to start the ivf - previous cycles have recently been between 27-32 days so cd1 could be in a couple of days or another week..... Last cycle was 25 days but that was the iui and no idea whether that will affected the length of this one.
The only upside of all the down below nastiness I had during/post iui was that sexy time did not happen before ov, so there's no craziness in my head thinking I might have a miraculous diffment if the droid doesn't arrive soon!!

I've got a Hypno-Woo CD for conception if anyone wants a copy? It's not fertility issue related but it helped me chill the fuck out a bit while going through the fertility shizzle. I don't have the actual CD anymore but the audio file is on my iPod & i could email the file to folk that want it. PM me if you're interested anyone.

Frankle I would love to listen to some hypno-chilling stuff, can I pm you my email address?

Rain Definitely yes to the cat! Pets are the best anxiety busters known to man/woman /BESH.

Hags, back on the land of hot showers and flush toilets tomorrow! It's been a great field trip but man, to wash my hair with hot water, sleep. In my own bed!

Also means I am done with working away for at least 12 weeks, so life permiting we should get some spring time TTC 'done'!

EricaJ, PM away! I've moved the file to my Dropbox so will just send you a link.

Fab you stay around forever as long as you need

Not long for you now barking! eek! BESH clusterdiff is coming

Erica - hope the hot shower and bed are soon in reach, you are one truly impressive hag

Well, hypnosis was a really nice experience, and I genuinely think it will help. Put me in a really positive frame of mind, felt all comfortable and secure She's going to send me the file tomorrow so I can listen to it again as much as I want before I see her again next week. Feeling far calmer about everything but still really impatient to just get going.

blue you are right, I'm nearly there but not close enough!!! The droid could arrive any day, or it could be another week, and I want to start NOW goddammit!!

erica DCW's theory on holidays is that we should never stay anywhere more comfortable than home or we won't be pleased to get back to our own beds...

Great it was a positive experience Barking, she sounds a keeper! You'll be there soon enough. I followed the link to the website to find out more and see what was available near me. There's a practitioner in my local town but I'm dithering to call as she seems very earth smothery woo. So I'm copping out!

It has made me remember my woo download though I got last cycle and so I'm officially digging my hypno mp3 to listen to tonight to help me chill and spend some time focusing on the wonderousnous my yooooderus being ready to accept new life. I'm only 3 days late, time to catch up right?!

I've also written myself a couple of affirmations to go with it. Feeling a little behind the curve what with being in bed for the last 4 days. Oops. I hope the universe won't notice I've come late to my own party. At least I've been necking the right drucks.

Oooh Fab when's St Paddy's day? Doesn't sound that long away no? You're doing a great impression of a calm chilled person. I'm sure it doesn't feel quite like that! We're all rattling So is that you on the intralipids then?

Welcome home Erica, get to the showers and the shagging girl!

Interesting comfort strategy by DCW there Barking... definitely not ROCH's take on life but sometimes I struggle to push him out his safe zone, doesn't sound like you guys have that problem!! Still, can't knock ROCH, he's actually been amazing recently, limiting himself to one drink a week with the rugby and that's been it. A complete miracle for a fella who likes a couple of glasses a night, he's been amazing.

fab not too long to wait, how's the menkul going? Turbots of tranquillity for you

barking that does sound good, might look into that when we get closer to having a date.

Erica hopefully the next 12 weeks well be fruitful ones!! Your job sounds interesting, trying to imagine what you do!!

Feeling pretty glum here today. Shitty day at work topped off by tons of lovely CM but of course RAF feels unwell and went to bed early, so I'm lying here just feeling and and feeling like giving up. I hate this crap.

ps chez glad you're on the mend

That does sound shitty Rain, you're definitely allowed to feel pissed off and despondent tonight. Cockles of comfort and a strong BESHly arm rub to you. Let's not forget how much this whole thing sucks.

Two fucking birth announcements on the book of face for me today. grrrr. And what are we doing? Blood tests, foof fiddles, stabbing, taking drucks, tracking everything, being careful what we eat, necking vits, researching, despairingly monitoring cycles, visiting random woo ladies and writing positive affirmations about it all. Oh the irony. It's not exactly a bag of laughs hey?