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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

995 replies

barkingtreefrog · 12/12/2014 21:42

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

  3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
    a) weewee
    b) poopoo
    c) foofoo
    d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

  4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
    a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
    b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

  5. Is R2D2:
    a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
    b) the source of all evil.

  6. Number of pets?

  7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

  8. Lesbian crush?

  9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    b) Over 100 quid
    c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

  10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

  11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 10:09

Yeah Hcg levels (follows Bad's stern look with her own formidable over the glasses eyeballing to womb) - do your doubling thing!

I guess we've been very lucky in that TWH and I haven't had to travel for work and therefore miss out on prime time shagging - I can imagine it must feel so frustrating - it's hard enough to get diffed when you actually have the opportunity to shag let alone see it slipping away from you because of work. Confused

Bad, I'm an Audi driver Wink not an aggressive one who drives like a twat though! I hear your frustration though - what time does your day finish today?

Chez, I'm still in shock from your mock transfer etc - well done in the womble recovering so quickly though, that's a very good thing Smile so have they given you any estimation of when transfer will be? Are you now concentrating on growing a nice plump womble lining?

Barking - when does stabbing commence? Is it next week??

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 11:12

Ps Bad that concussion shag story is terrible and hilarious all rolled into one!!!

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 27/02/2015 11:15

Waiting impatiently for the droid, Fab. Currently cd 21 and last few cycles have been between 27 and 30 days. Day 1 I call, day 2 I go in for a scan and bloods and depending on the scan and bloods I either start injecting then or day 3.
Spoke to a hypnotherapist last night, hoping to get an appointment next week...

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 27/02/2015 11:16

bad that is insane.
And knowledge is power, go find out what's going on! Chances are everything is fine, that's the most common result!

OP posts:
badb · 27/02/2015 13:11

Fab, the Audi driver reference is both gender and local specific, I think Smile

I don't finish until 6. Gah, this day. And I'm missing a really interesting seminar to deliver this terrible presentation.

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 14:59

Good luck with the presentation and remember - ONLY 3 hours left before home time!!!

TheRainDrops · 27/02/2015 16:48

hope it went well bad!

fab I am singing three is the magic number in your general direction for positive multiplication vibes. Grin

Just found out one of my close friends is pregnant with her third. She took nearly two years to conceive her first and we started ttc together in 2012 (when she was trying for #2). She gave birth to DS2 on the day my miscarriage happened and now she's pregnant again with a 'surprise' baby. She's lovely and had only ever been sensitive and kind about my plight but I still can't help being Envy Envy Envy Envy . Two kids in the time I've been trying, and failing, to have one. Bah. Sad

cherrycoconut · 27/02/2015 20:22

Bad I hope the presentation went smoothly and swiftly and you're now basking in reflected glory, somewhere warm, cosy and preferably with gin. NOW we can rejoice in the Fridayness! Your concussion shag story is priceless. Grin

I've got the haddock of higher HCG's ready for tomorrow Fab. Everything crossed for you.

Barking I'm also waiting for a bleed, should be any day now, and then I can get on the happy drucks - basically mainlining oestrogen until TX for a cushiony womble - which has the added upside of making me feel superhuman. Don't get enough of that lovely stuff in my life anymore. EC wk beginning 13 March at the moment. How 'bout you?

Still singing 3 is a magic number now, thanks Rain!

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 22:13

I did a stupid thing as I was bored and our bloody wifi isn't bloody working abloodygain (well specifically it's not working in Netflix or amazon grrr) so I started flicking through mumsnet. Aaaargh. Why do I even need to look at any other thread than this one?? Saw the most ridiculous thread where people are posting their BFP due dates??? Fucking hell!!

Aside from this I have officially started bricking myself for tomorrow's test. Gahhh. The headfuckery continues. Sigh.

TheRainDrops · 27/02/2015 22:37

Cod, cockles, cuttlefish and coleys of calm fab. The conception board and pregnancy board are to be avoided at all costs!

I'm out and about most of tomorrow but will be thinking of you, hoping for some impressive multiplication for the OMFGIVFTWINZZZZ. Xxx

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 08:06

Thinking of you today Fab, channelling big numbers! Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 08:08

chez I'll be approximately a week behind you!

Sorry to post and run and probably miss stuff, off out on the mountain bike Grin.

OP posts:
TheBuggerlugs · 28/02/2015 08:18

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This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 08:20

Just popping by to channel good thoughts to you and the OMGIVFTWINZ this morning Fab. Hoping for a nice comforting jump in the numbers for some piece of mind for you. In the meantime step away from the tinterweb laydee, you know it won't do you any good. Is it 5 hrs from this morning again that you get the results?

Have fun on the bike today Barking. Ooh, we're almost cycle buddies of the IVF kind. Couldn't ride a bike for love nor money today. After resisting it for so long I have succumbed to the lurgy hags. Sad Trying to be thankful it's now and not in a couple of weeks time but I still feel like shit!

Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 10:43

Thanks for the plentiful fish Hags, much appreciated. I'm actually feeling sick with nerves at the moment. Bloods done and am on my way home so it is all in the hands of the gods now. Gulp.

Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 10:44

Thanks for the plentiful fish Hags, much appreciated. I'm actually feeling sick with nerves at the moment. Bloods done and am on my way home so it is all in the hands of the gods now. Gulp.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 12:49

When can you phone for results fab just so I know when to check back
Wouldn't it be lovely if you could drift off to sleep and have lovely dreams then wake up and know everything was ok? Thanks

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 14:15

Well Hags, the number has almost tripled! It's still low compared to the average numbers at 141 but the clinic isn't bothered by this and doesn't need me to get another test done so I'm now booked in for my 7 week scan. Fuck me, what a week. Can I book in for a sleep for the next couple of months? I'd be happy to skip the next bit and get to definitely pregnant with a healthy baby/ies (although I suspect omgivftwinz may be unlikely with these low numbers) in my womble?? So. I'm definitely pregnant!GrinGrinGrin

And in other news I'm very excited about Chez and Barking's upcoming ivf. I need you Hags!!

cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 14:29

Oh Fab this is bestest news, congratulations, you're only ducking diffed my love! Grin Flowers so, so thrilled for you! OMG longest few weeks ever coming up though. Temporary stasis looks so tempting...

Droid has arrived for me today so start on my drucks this eve. Hags, we're officially under starter's orders. Shock

cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 14:30

Rain was right, three definitely is the magic number.

ALittleFaith · 28/02/2015 14:34

Yippee Fab!!! Grin You are diffed. Awesome news.

Good luck cherry.

Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 14:34

She's on the bus, yay!! SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

EricaJ · 28/02/2015 14:43

Fab whooop! I am doing that rolling thing with the nipple tassels for you!

Rain I feel your pain, lovely! Have at least two friends that are on the second pg since we started TTC #1 around the same time, and not instadiffers eitherr. Bah indeed!

MissHobart · 28/02/2015 14:44

Totally Fucking AWESOME!!! Grin Grin Grin

No rush though! Wink

eurochick · 28/02/2015 14:49

Yay fab! That is great climbing. It sounds like late implantation. Maybe the TWINZ were fighting over the best spot. I'm so pleased you have a bfp!