The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

That post was directed to Fab,

Streaks in to say squeeeeeee! For Fab. Mazing news laydee, catch up later.

That's great news fab.

More BESH babies please :)

Fab that's fantastic!!!! Well done you and those sticky little Fablets

fab lets!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!!

Oh my goodness I'm almost crying with happiness for you. Yes yes yes!!!!

(Haven't read full thread - will catch up later)
Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow, just wow, fab. Congrats! Wow.

Btw cherry that sounds awful, glad TX will be under sedation!

Aarrgghhhh!!! I'm actually crying with happiness!!

Fucking Hell! Only the BESH would have to go through such shit to get such good news!

Suppose I'd better update the PESH thread today!

Adds sparkly nipple tassels to cunt bunting

The most besh like bfp ever!

Fab I'm still grinning like a Cheshire cat over your news, but a little bit of me quite a lot actually is actually really at your clinic for not giving you a blood test - wouldn't that have shown hcg levels before a pg test showed bfp and saved you the crushing horribleness of the last few days?

But anyway, .

Cunt bunting! Wow, we haven't had that in a while

Hags I'm totally overwhelmed by your love here - you're all just so fabulous and amazing and wonderful your messages have really brought a tear to my eye

I elected to do a poas test initially as the first time we did ivf I didn't do it and went straight to the beta - I then had 3 tests over the course of a week to make sure I definitely was pregnant and I hated it and wished I'd just poas'd instead. I'm currently on my way up to the clinic (bastard first train was cancelled - aargh) to get a beta hcg test and a progesterone test done. Apparently they take around 5 hours to get the results and the nurses go home at 5:30 so I'm keeping everything crossed that we can get a tight turn around and a result today. In the meantime today I'm pregnant!! Wow! I'm all over the place emotionally - headfuckery continues as you can imagine and quite frankly I could really do (for those if you who've had it I totally understand if you said noooo btw) with getting morning sickness to prove that something positive is actually happening in the womble. Madness of course as I really hate vomming but at least it would be A Sign. I'm not convinced that excessive sweating is a definitive symptom

Fuuuuuuuck, instadiffers have no idea of the rollercoaster do they. I couldn't do it without you hags!

Congratulations Fab, that's awesome news and I'm chuffed to bits for you!

Apologies for the lack of updates; our little ESHlet arrived 3 weeks ago and we have well and truly had our hands full since then! I'll post some pics on t'other place soon...

Congrats Cunty nice to hear your news

So the beta is 56.1 - it's in the pregnant category but not very high so I'll be repeating it on Saturday morning and hoping for a big jump in numbers and having an intralipid infusion tomorrow too. So for today and tomorrow I'm definitely pregnant I think the only way I can move forward at the moment is a day at a time. Blimey.

What a rollercoaster Fab! After my iui bfp I was told the increase was more important than the initial number as it showed the growth, so I have absolutely everything crossed for you that get a lovely big number on Saturday and can relax a little . Today you are pg!!

And congratulations cunty, I can't believe it's been that long since your bfp!

Been smiling for you all day Fab, tis our own little BESH miracle! I guess if the beans are a little late getting established then the hcg levels would expect to be a bit lower yet? As Barking says, fingers crossed for a big jump on Saturday. In the meantime, you're officially diffed!

Hey *nty, congrats on winning your little man
Great to see the old guard back frequenting the gin palais
What a day! Let the cluster diff commence hags...

Thanks for the well wishes for my foof hags, it's miraculously fine today, not an inkling of yesterday's troubles. So, short and sharp but no lasting damage thank goodness!

One day at a time is definitely the best way to go Fab. I've got everything crossed for a big jump in numbers on Saturday.

Glad the foof is on the mend cherry

OMG! I'm late to the party but have strapped in my nipple tassles anyway! Today you are pregnant hooray hooray hooray! Crossing everything for a big increase in the numbers. You're right about the roller coaster - and I'm not even the one who's diffed!

cherry that does sound like a v weird experience. Glad you're out the other side and at least the team know what they are doing for the real thing!

Aaargh! My long message just dissapeared.

Fab Such fantastic news! The sequined nipple tassels are out for you!

Hags, only february and the clusterdiff has begun!! Go, go, go us!

As may have noticed by my badly written posts, I am in the middlee of nowhere, using crappy wifi on my phone.

However, being in the jungle has not stopped me from using OPKs and getting all frustrated because I get positives but can't TTC. Why do I do this to myself????

What are your potential dates then chez? When is the serious action likely to commence?

Morning hags.

Fab, I'm sending your HcG levels firm but encouraging looks.

Erica, the jungle, eh? How annoying to be away during peak bonking time. A friend of mine once had her husband fly three hours to meet her while she was away on a work conference. Then he got into a car crash on the way to her hotel, and had to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. She rang me to ask Himself whether it would be dangerous to have sex while potentially concussed. Hah!

So, we're away for a couple of weeks in March, but I think I'm going to schedule the HSG test when I get back. I'm already stressing about it, and I've basically convinced myself that both my tubes are blocked and/or mangled. So best to get it over with, I think. Unless a miracle happens on holiday (it might, right?), the end of March should be the right point in the cycle. I'm going to ring the clinic on Monday to chat about it.

Off topic. I've been at my desk since 7.30am , and things that are getting on my wick this morning:

1. Low-lying sun that makes it really difficult to drive, even with sunglasses.
2. Men in Audis that speed up the right-turn only lane and try to skip into the left turn lane at the junction, and then get aggressive with you when you refuse to let them in.
3. Inarticulate newsreaders on the radio.
4. Students who ask you for a reference (for next week!), but then get all cagey and question you about why you need to see their programme application and academic transcript when "you know how I did in your seminar". Grand so: your reference will read "I met X during Y seminar. He achieved a B+ grade."

I wish it could rejoice at it being Friday, but sadly I have a big presentation at 3pm. Sigh.