On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

FC have said morph is normal, I queried it and GP said they go through a spinner which increases the abnormalities, which is why they only look for 4%. Basically - in this type of SA they get a bit bashed up!

With the other type of morph test - they look at a whole other set of criteria, which our FC do not do. Therefore, should we have had that type of test - he may well have met those criteria to the normal percentile

I'd not heard of different tests. my dh had 2% morph then 3% morph on his sa's. is ur dh having a second sa? mine had 2 booked straight away. they usually do 2 as results can vary so much in sperm. we also have motility issues - 4% then 20%, hence having icsi

This is all very scientific!!!

I have a very serious question for you all....

Who is doing the next Fred? It'll be the Xmas Fred for sure!

I think it's more to do with criteria and spinning than different tests per se. He'll have it again in April if no luck before. Our fc has had funding withdrawn for new referrals until then anyway. Gp is convinced prolactin is our issue as everything else is in normal ranges. Even my lh which she raised as a concern prior to the scan actually falls in normal range but now is of no consequence due to absence of pcos. She said although my ovaries are heavy and have alot of immature follicles they are still at normal count and as I know my cycles are regular and I'm ovulating except this cycle! then pcos is not an issue
We are very lucky in that our gp is on the board of our fc, has a special interest in women's health and also has a prolactinoma! Loving the nhs tonight!

purple? To celebrate being back in the game? And to start off a positive New cycle for you?

tink jolly well done I'm so happy for you and mr tink. What a result!
I may or may not work with referrals for out patients I do, wink wink and if your local ben hates jess trust is anything like mine endocrine refs have a looooooooong wait so I really hope it comes through fast for you.

I vote purple for the new fred too

all that science talk is really interesting but has mashed my head! lol, might have to have another read in a bit. it's all fascinating what they can do and endlessly frustrating that it comes down to funding and waiting lists!

your news has really cheered me up my crappy day tink! I needed that! thanks lol x

Yes Purple!

Well I do now have a cat flap. DH is at works do at Jamie Oliver's parents place in Essex. Apparently Jamie himself was there singing carols, so I expect to see some pictures when he rolls home full of whiskey.

So I am have burger and chips. And a bottle glass of wine!

honey wine is full of calories. put the glass bottle down!

I agree, purple fits the reinvented tradition perfectly so should definitely start the next fred. Make it a full on festive one purple

lil give me an update, what day are you on in the countdown to BFP?

8 pills left indigo. counted all my needles etc last night to make sure they've given me enough of everything!! (they have). dh may be in Birmingham on date of first scan now but won't find out until new year probably. its no big deal really but it'd be a shame. as long as he's there to jizz in a pot though!

Lol Lil! I was ashamed of how little i ended up drinking but now i feel virtuous. ignore the burger and chips Where are you when i decide what to have for tea?

I think I need a lil living with me so she can hooyah me at my drink/food/stresses! :-) x

well honey think how virtuous you'd have felt if you hadn't had the burger and chips. if you'd roasted home cut potatoes in chip shape with a light spray of oil and had a small piece of chicken and baked beans it would have been just as easy a tea, almost as quick but 10 times healthier and tastier. think about how virtuous you feel next time you reach for the wine and junk food.

pooch you can post me your food cravings and I'll talk you off a ledge and offer you alternative suggestions. dh wanted something "nice" the other night so we made wholewheat banana pancakes and spread nutella on them. obvs nutella was a treat but a better snack than a chocolate bar or ice cream!

Morning all! Really happy for your news Tink, and I think I've def learned something from all the science chat.

Anyone else in last minute Christmas prep mode this weekend?!

I'm a virtuous eater........haaaaaaaaaa! No I'm not that's why I have a "festive gut" and very tight jeans.

Oh bugger I'm rubbish at stuff like that. I don't know how to do links to other Fred's either. Can someone tell me how please

How rude...sorry

Morning lovelies and a happy Saturday to you

Happy Saturday to you too purple!

Oh dear, I drank way too much at my work Christmas party last night. Feeling rubbish this morning! FF has confirmed icing for me though so I'm 3dpo apparently

That's me told! Gosh, what's wrong with me? I was in a supermarket and it didn't even occur to me. The burger wasn't even that nice

I need to do the meal plan for the coming week. We are so skint at the moment i have been avoiding a weekly shop. Clearly not the way to go.

(The burgers were 45p and the rolls were 9p). But i could have got a potato and beans for similar.

Happy Saturday!

Am in a little bit of a foul mood today. OH has finally come home yesterday but think I iced when he was away. Thought I would like a nice "I've missed you shag" anyway but OH has been so preoccupied with work that he's got no interest at all. So frustrated!

honey the key is to shop from the reduced shelf for meat which you can portion up and freeze, then plan means from what's in your freezer. supermarkets usually have a particular day when they reduce the most EF my local Tesco have the best reduced stuff on a Thurs about 9pm. same with veg, you can blanch and freeze it. that also means you can have veg out of season without paying over the odds for it. my go to quick meal is carbonara I use wholewheat spaghetti or pasta, just whatever is I'm the cupboard. I always have prosciutto in the fridge as it lasts ages and i buy grana pandano not parmesan as its cheaper but I've used cheddar too. sometimes I put mushrooms in too if I have them to use up.
i bulk cook bolognese too, then I can either have it as spag bol, make a cottage pie out of it, or a chilli. if u want more recipes let me know. Im a bit obsessed with recipes!

oh and I buy whole chickens sometimes and chop up raw into breasts, thighs etc and freeze in portions. cheaper than buying separately and I get about 8meals for me and dh from one chicken. also if u buy portions replace breast for thigh and try turkey as its cheaper.