On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Oh poor you lot

Bollocks to that witch!!! And to all the unhelpful other halves!!

I have my last GP app of the year this afternoon, not sure what to expect - am expecting more bad news as seems to be the current trend! DH's SA's are in so we'll see.....

Noniks you are my great white hope

GX for you tink let us know how you get on xx

oh Pooch, that's tough! Am with you though - he really should knock the smoking on the head at least - if only to show support & solidarity. We quit together about a year ago excluding one or two when pissed but have discussed with DH that we both make an conscious effort to eat well & for him to watch his booze intake (not that I'm immune, I don't drink very much normally!) I've stopped temping all cycle and not at all this one! just do it a few days before & after icing to confirm, will this help?

Good luck today Tink, I shall try to be the December saviour, but my luck has not been in recently so don't get too excited...I'll be happy if witch stays away for another week who am I kidding

Good luck Tink

Poochieblue I'm with you on the cramps etc. bloody men can be so selfish never us girls though

I'm the ex smoker round here and I drink more than he does too. He might have 4 pints a week whereas I can easily drink 2 bottles of red.
I'm definitely cutting down in the new year. It's how I deal with stress and lately I've had a lot of it.

I put up with a lot of crap at work, telling myself that I only have to stick it until I go on Mat leave but that's not happened and just added more pressure on TTC

Good luck tink x

Hugs to all feeling a bit crappy today and good luck Tink with the appt.

I'll def join the healthy bandwagon, will need it after next week! Unfortunately, I currently seem to be surgically attached to a box of Quality Street blames AF ...could someone take it away please?!

Oh and agreed that the Jillian Michaels DVD is good...once you get through the first few days of pain.

Wow had the fertility trial today, it was so good! Gakay they are amazing in there. Basically had blood done, urine sample, heart monitor, breathing test, blood test, all these tests. Then they give you a CBAFM and 3 months of sticks, plus if you need it they will send you enough sticks for a years supply. They were so friendly though and told me I am really fit and healthy so shouldn't have a reason why I can't conceive unless it's hormonal, but because they track your hormones through the CBAFM they will tell you if something is amiss.

Roll on the shagging! :)

Well done jelly sounds like they are on the ball! You don't have to name your baby Blue or anything do you?

Purple I am a fellow wino I love a glass in the evening, never have more than 3, even on a Saturday. But when you add it up over the week its a lot. My trick to cutting down has been not drinking in the week, to ensure this happens I have to make sure there is nothing left open on Monday - pouring it down the drain if necessary!! Then if desperation strikes mid week I have a small bottle of beer instead - also when in the pub i've switched to vodka and tonic - only 1 unit as opposed to the 3 in a large glass of wine. By doing this i've got my weekly units down to 6-8 which is ok I think. Before I could happily polish off 2 bottles of wine a week like you which is about 20 units. Obvs all null and void over Christmas!!

Soo nervous - thanks for all the well wishes. I keep mentally drafting my goodbye post to all you lovely shaggers if they tell us all hope is lost! Someone hand me a grip!

Oh Tink so sorry didn't see you had your GP app today! When is it?? Huge hand holding here!

bibble AF controlled eating is absolutely fine at times! sometimes it's the only way to keep her quiet right?!

that sounds so exciting jelly are you feeling more positive now knowing you're all healthy etc?

step kids have been picked up and dispatched to there various destinations (ones gone to have her nails done with her mum the other is baby sitting for her aunty) husband has been dropped at the pub. I've been to the bank for the 2nd time today, bought the 1 forgotton Christmas card, extra paper and am now sat waiting to see the chiropractor on an emergency appointment as my shoulder is in agony. then it's grab food, take clean shirt up to husband (fussy ass wanted to "freshen up" not that he deserves my help ) and off to babysit my 2 God daughters. then and only then can I actually sit down today. keeping busy has definitely been best for me today though!

GOOD NEWS! GP has decreed I no longer have polycystic ovaries!! Combination of Blood results and scan lead her to believe I am within normal ranges! Big cyst at scan she is 99% sure is functional and doesn't want me rescanned. It should just go away by itself.

DH SA result is normal!

The only barrier we have is the Prolactinoma which I have a referral on its way for an endocrinologist. I'll need an MRI and be prescribed tablets, she says if I don't have the referral through by the 12th Jan she will give me the tablets herself!

Funding for FC for our area has been withdrawn until end of March. If we have had no joy by then she will refer us on 1st April. They will most probably try me on Clomid for a few months and if that doesn't work we'd get one round of IUI.

So new deadline is 31st March, better get shagging!!!

Yay for good news on the Fred! Tink - you must be delighted with this outcome. What lovely news to get just before Christmas.

Yay Tink such good news! I'm calling the Fred a success regardless of the lack of BFP's :) So happy!!!

Get shagging girl!

that's great news tink! am so pleased!!! :-D x

tink that's awesome news girl!!! Get you! No reason why not now

Fanks!!! Just need these bloody tablets - she was surprised the referral hadn't come through and said if it hasn't by Jan 12th she'll write me a prescription herself, even though she's not meant to. God bless good doctors!!!

And imagine not having polycystic ovaries anymore! She shrugged and said I've probably grown out of them! Cant advocate watching your diet and good supplements enough! Not saying that's what worked but that and that bcp is the devil and me having no artificial hormones for 6 years must have played a part!!

I'm so excited, just wish I had this prescription, roll on brain scans

Oh and lil if you want to know the SA results let me know - I know this is your area of interest...

Oh and lil also, you are right - if we do have to do IVF it would only be IUI, so the oracle is proven correct once more

Wow Tink! That is so exciting! Get shagging, girl!

Cat flap man not here yet. Surely he won't attempt to install in the dark?

tink I am so pleased for you! how amazing that you've beaten the pcos! hope that gives you some hope ain!
yes send me the sa results, I'm nosey!
iui will still involve a medicated cycle tink but should be easier than ivf and cheaper if you need to do a second, for baby no 2 of course

Hurray Tink that's amazing news!

tink so happy to hear your good news. Early xmas present. Get shagging!

Vol 4.6ml
Concentration 153 million/ml
Motility 67% progressive 77% Total
Antibodies 0%
Morph 8% normal

These are the ones I understand.

Oooh, and forgot to say - she said prolactin is the hormone produced when breast feeding - so essentially at the moment i'm like a breastfeeding mummy trying for number 2. Difficult but not impossible to conceive. Taking the tablets will be like weaning baby!

Thanks for all the congrats - feel like I got my BFP - with the exception that i'm off to get drunk now!!

wow, I thought our 88m count was good! the only potential issue there is morph. there are 2 scales, they've based it on Kruger strict - >4% is normal, but the WHO standard based on studies of population says >31% is normal. most clinics look at Kruger now, and its certainly good enough for iui I would think, and they'd choose only the best ones anyway. don't want to put a downer on things, just wanted to prepare you that iui still may be the way forward. so go prove me wrong and get that bfp!!

haha tink at least ur prepared for no2!!