On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

thanks gaggia i'm gutted for all of us! i really thought this weekend was going throw up some good bfp's! even if one of them wasn't going to be mine! feeling really emotional about it all tbh I love seeing you viroids graduating!! bloody hormones making it worse too!!

Is there anyone left to test this weekend still?

With you there pooch I thought one of us was going to hit the jackpot this month (to be honest thought it was going to be you!)

Still there's always next month :)

jelly i've been dry for a month or more. Going to have a mulled wine Christmas Eve, and a bucks fizz Christmas day but other than that yep dry! We start our ivf cycle 28th so I have been trying to do everything I can to make it happen - including ditching the booze. Have to say i've not really missed it. Even when i went out last saturday I didn't really want any. did get asked if i wasn't drinking because i was pg though - floored them with no i start ivf next month!

i thought it was you! you're right there's always next month and we get a boozy christmas and new year and like purple says august babies would have been the youngest in the year and all that added bull that we need to focus on to keep us sane!

FF has me next icing around new year so plenty of excuse for new year shags

i had my 1st dry weekend for a long time last week and i didn't miss it either! i think mostly because DH was dry as well but am going to try and lay off it more than normal over the festivities, i will have the odd 1 or 2 though as a) don't want the awkward questions as i haven't got an good comeback answer like yours lil and b) if i don't the bottle of vodka off the boss will get drank by DH and i will feel hard done to lol!!

Not sure what was up with DH last weekend not touching a drop, so not like him. I had asked him to support me in some way by either cutting back on the weekend drinking in the house or by quitting smoking with me - he lasted approx 4 hours not smoking before he went to the shop and laughed at me when i said no vodka on a friday! gggrrrrrrr men!!!!

Afternoon all. Sorry to hear Purple, that's really rubbish for you.

AF also here now in full force - Poochie, I did get to enjoy my Christmas night out at least! Though Jelly seems to be having my period pains, usually get them, nothing yet.

pmsl at the timing of this - DH has literally just rang me whoop whooping at me down the phone that he's finished for the year (official job, he will be joining me working for BIL over christmas) and he's on his way to the off license.......

poochie dh has only given up his coke drinks that I asked him to months ago in the last month or two for the ivf. he said something about it the other day like he'd made some huge sacrifice and I pointed out how things may have been different if he'd done it sooner and maybe I wouldn't be stabbing drugs into myself! you def need to stop him smoking, that's really bad for the swimmers!

i know! I did say to him last month, if it hasn't happened in a couple more would he make another effort and he agreed, just got to actually get him to do it!! i even bought him one of the electric pipe thingys that all my friends used to quit but i ended up with it (worked really well for me)

I'm going to try again with him as soon as Christmas is over. I am so glad i quit now though, i can't even bear the thought of going out in the cold now for one, just doesn't seem worth it and i can't remember why i ever thought it did!! Winter is definitely the time to do it!

I am concerned that even if he stops it could take 3 months for his swimmers to regenerate anyway. that would take us well over the 8 months mark, and i'll be edging ever closer to 35 :-( It also worries me how long he has to have quit for in order for us to be entitled to help if it came to that. I am assuming that you have to be doing everything possible for yourselves first. I need to have another chat :-/

My OH gets really angry with me whenever I comment on his drinking and smoking. But having read your posts I've just done a quick research on alcohol and smoking effects on fertility and miscarriages. Having had 2 mc's I really don't want to go through another one. Him being away for a week abroad likely means lots of booze and cigarettes. Now I'm not sure if we should refrain from TTC until he's willing to cut down. It's not fair that women are expected to change our lifestyles but men don't.

I'm quite lucky in that DP doesn't smoke, neither of us drink except for work do's and we are both semi-healthy (except for doing with losing a few pounds - or stone in my case lol).
I had a bit of a stress out today, got all emosh and left work early because of the cramps :( I told DP he needs to stop eating junk and we need to be healthy for this TTC malarkey and he ended up buying two sandwiches for himself for lunch so I raged lol. And I don't want to sound like a self involved moaner but I don't quite get why it's not happened for us yet considering we are both young (24) and healthy, I am starting to think something could be wrong with one of us. Although it could also be the effects of the injection which can last up to 18 months.

So I'll stop moaning now. I'm allowed one a month. ;)

it really isn't fair. and to be honest because my DH has already fathered 3, I think he thinks it's just me being awkward. I'm already overweight (and trying desperately to do something about it) and only have one tube and we're both 34 so while I know of no reason why we can't conceive naturally I do have this really loud clock ticking in my head. think DH still thinks he's a young stud!

this is the place for a moan jelly and we're all entitled to the odd "moment" especially when we get AF!!! you really have only had AF back a couple of cycles and I honestly believe they are still settling down for you! it is hard at times though. i don't feel entitled to be as upset as I am today because of how long some of the lovely viroids on here have been trying (and you've been waiting for even AF to come back!) but it's still so hard and I don't know how we all do it!

it's supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. so why isn't it?!

and that's my moan (s) done for the day! x

Poochie shall we diet together? I'm pretty confident life would be better if I were thinner (health wise, I like life as it is otherwise)! Sperm doesn't really change as men get older but we can improve our egg quality by eating right and exercising.

I'm thinking of doing that t25 workout thing. I think there is one on YouTube. I can cope with 25 minutes.

I'm doing the c25k too :)

I'll give it ago!! we can support each other!! 25mins seems doable whilst being effective! I will research it :-)

Yay!

Don't be too disheartened girls. There are plenty of idiots people who drink, smoke and shouldn't have children but get upduffed in a blink of an eye. Dh and i have alwasy eaten really well, neither of us have ever been smokers, I didn't ever drink that much, and dh has been almost t total for 12 years or more. I was 27 and he 30 when we started ttc, and now we're only 29 and 32 but look at us! it's just dumb luck.

Of course changing these things improves chances, and I do wonder if dh stopping the caffiene earlier may have helped as it is still possible for us to get pg naturally.

In my clinic you can't have ivf until you've both been smoke free for 6 months so the sooner you stop the better. Of course there are BMI limits too, but i think top end is 30 so quite generous. of course the more "normal" it is the higher your chances.

If you have a sympathetic doctor (and can exaggerate time trying a little bit) then I'd consider speaking to them and asking to get SA done poochie. double edged sword though - if it's an ok result he won't change, but if it's a bad result it may encourage him, and you would be able to start the long process of assisted conception.

Very true words lil :) my biggest thing is to lose some weight, my BMI is 30 so I can deffo do with shifting some. I just know friends who are massivly overweight who got pg straight away lol!!

So true lil

My bmi is 32 :-/ but that is a "guesstimate" because my scales battery is dead!! But I have erred on the side of caution weight wise. I will be going up to town on Tuesday (uurggghhhhh wish me luck! Lol) so will buy a new one.

I lost 3.5 stone on slimming world a few years ago so I know I can do it. You have motivated me already!! (I had been trying!!) I was all geared up for losing weight for my wedding but when I had my breakdown last year every time I thought about it I went into panic mode and it was counter-productive but I'm more stable now and up for it!! Yay!!!!!!!

pooch, jelly drinking water definitely helps with weight loss. and I think the best way to lose weight is sustainable changes. scroll back to the stuff I posted for ain on last thread. high protein low carb is supposed to help fertility, hence it being recommended for pcos and ivf. note low carbs not no carbs. making healthy switches is key. I ditched the cereal bars and white carbs, switched snacks to fruit and seeds, started having eggs or salad for lunch or soup. it got easier very quickly. maybe start after Christmas now though eh!

lol! yeah maybe best!! although maybe I will start making more conscientious choices over Christmas but start weighing myself again afterwards so I don't get disheartened!

low carbs I think I could cope with, no carbs I couldnt!! lol x

ok viroids we can do this! after christmas it's a super effort to make a difference :)

Shagging is good exercise! Oh and Jillian Michaels. Youtube her workouts. I love her.

gaggia especially your type of shagging!!!