On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

hahaha!! nice one indigo hehehehe yes not sure me and DH could sustain gaggia level shagging lol :-D

has anyone ever had cramp in the top of their foot? I'm talking right on top on the ankle bone side?! omg that hurts!!!! never ever had cramp there! wtf?! serves me right for trying to have a relaxing bath I suppose lol!

Ha ha thanks viroids! We did indeed have a good ole swing from the chandeliers this afternoon.
Am I the only one who thanks their other half for the outstanding performance after sex? I'm just too grateful me!.

hahha!!!! I think it may have slipped out a couple of times by accident but only on extremely superb performance! lol he always laughs at me when it's happened!

I have this weird thing after orgasm where I cough!! How random is that. Has us in fits of laughter though lol. And yes I do thank and compliment him for a good shag.

hahahaha!!! oh god if I coughed afterwards I'd lose all the goods!! (sorry tmi! lol)

I sometimes yawn after! Dh always thanks me for a BJ

Evening viroids, currently upside down waiting for the swimmers to um swim. Question is there ever too much shagging? (Predictive the t wants to change that to snagging.. How prude) where are we all on the new swimmers/lots of swimmers discussion?

mountain yes, that's where EOD comes from. for ivf dh has been told to flush em out at least every 3 days/twice a week but not less than 2days before my ec date. I think it just affects count if you shag too often. but then it didn't do something any harm did it! lol

Ha, i think my BMI is probably towards 40! But yes, girls....we are on it! I solemnly promise to always have a drink of water first when feeling hungry, then seeing if i still am. And i also promise to never eat because i am bored or sad, which is a big problem.

DH and i do thank each other for the shag afterwards. And i try hard not to sneeze and lose the soldiers! strong muscles i guess!

Next cycle we will try eod for the whole time. I ordered some new opk sticks too. Then i need to trial that stork thing, which sounds like it might be uncomfortable.

Is Jillian Michaels the lady from Biggest Loser?

yeah that's her, love her! actually she scares the shit out of me but think she would get me shifting my lazy ass if I could afford to hire her for real! lol

Have done most of the 30 day shred a couple of times - it's pretty hardcore in my humble view, unless you do that sort of exercise regularly...which I didn't! Lord, I ached the first few days and going up and down stairs was definitely interesting I have slightly dodgy knees too, and had to miss out or modify one or two of the exercises.
I did feel that I was getting a lot fitter, although not sure if I lost much weight if any. Also provided dh with opportunities to laugh at me, the swine..

Morning viroids :) did my first day of the clear blue trial today. Piss in a pot. How lovely ;)

AF from hell is back with a vengeance. I'm guessing because my mini AF that turned out to be full AF was so light non existent this one is over compensating for it. Cue red tide of doooooooooooooooom!!

Anywho, it's Friday!!!!!

Honey mine is around that too. I've decided that I'm getting hardcore after Christmas. I'm fed up about it. I've been following low GI for my blood sugar but not losing any weight. I think I need to look at portion control and be more low fat drink less wine too

I have come to the realisation that my body just likes to fool me into thinking I'm pregnant because I so want to be. I need to chill out about it all yeah who knew!

FWIW I think the egg is fertilising then not implanting. I have been googling but have no medical knowledge to back this up. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do about this other than cut out alcohol after icing.

So I'm going to accept the status quo and not get my hopes up. If I get symptoms again then I have to be realistic and not believe that they mean a BFP

Good for you purple and sorry it didn't work out how you hoped. Not sure if I'm ice symptom spotting but have woken up this morning cd16 with sore lower belly on the right hand side. Belly's been aching a bit last couple of days but this is quite intense.

Morning viroids, have been running around like a crazy trying to sort Chrimbo - it's also DH's bday tomorrow so lots to do...

Purple I'm sorry your body is fucking with you, enjoy your mulled wine I am sending you

Lil you start in just over a week! That's come round so quickly - now go drink some water

Goddamn witch bitch getting everyone. FUCK OFF YOU SLAAAG.

I've done Jillian too - it is tough the first 3 days or so I may have gone down the stairs on my arse when no one was looking but it gets a lot easier a lot quicker. Also Darcey Bussell has a Pilates DVD that is very good - also good for de-stressing as it's very relaxing & soothing but you still feel it the next day. I'll get on the healthy bandwagon with you all as we finally booked our belated honeymoon for February!! Very excited but have 1/2 stone to shift this will probably be near a stone after xmas!

CD 21 here, hoping for a big fat fucking bfp normal length cycle this time - last one was only 23 days & am normally 28. My boobs were really tender for the last week & nothing so far so feeling positive. Haven't monitored icing, but as have been feeling rather fruity we've JS'd plenty. So...this means I am still potentially in for this month...and could POAS on Christmas day.... why am I setting myself up for this fall?!

Yay! Last day of work!!! At least until next year.

jelly sorry that the witch is being horrible. On the positive side she would have gone by xmas and you can enjoy JSing during the festival fortnight! Oh, you must be at the study appt now. Hope it's going well.

purple yes, our mind can really play tricks on our body. And like lil said, sometimes its just luck. But if you want to do something I think it's not a bad idea to avoid alcohol after icing. And studies have also shown that men drinking high level of alcohol could affect quality of swimmers and increase the risk of failed implantation and abortion. I have to emphasise that it's just a skim read and I can't remember how significant the effect is. But in a way, cutting down alcohol is good for all of us anyway have been trying to encourage OH to cut down without success for years and hoping that this would finally encourage him to

muddy hope you are icing - go slagging!

noniks gx for BFP on xmas day! Really hoping someone would get one soon!

Morning. The witch is here with avengeance today. squelchy squelchy

Having a cat flap fitted today so the moggie monsters can come and go as they like. They better learn how to use it.

Just off to have my glass of water and drugs before i decide what to have for breakfast.

Happy Friday, all!

lol @ 'slagging' gakay!

nice honey , I suggest dippy egg & soldiers with granary bread - as I would feckin ruin that right now

Oh dear! Bloody autocorrecthave not been typing "slagging" that often that often for it to come up as autocorrect

I've been dry for over five months now! NEVER thought I could do it. Love wine too much. But it's not actually that bad. You get carried along by other people's drunkenness instead.

Purple I'm convinced that I've had a couple of cycles where I've had failed implantation - like you say, no evidence, but gut feeling/some symptoms like a really strong metallic taste etc.

mountain I'm with lil on swimmers, I think the 'recommended' amount of shagging is every two to three days to give them a chance!

feeling sorry for myself today, to much to do with cramps going on and generally feeling shit as AF makes me feel.
DH trying to say he feels shit too (as he's getting ready to go on an all day P up!) tried to explain that one of the reasons is due to disappointment and he snaps at me I'm thinking about it too much!

I know that he's only said this cos he was off today and didn't want me to set me alarm to take my temp! (his normally goes off before mine!) so now I'm stressed about not feeling like I can temp while he's off over Christmas! I threw in his face that we'd have more of a chance of he quit smoking and now he isn't speaking to me! not quite the calm and reasoned conversation I wanted to have about it!