On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Welcome townie

Sorry for another long post.

Welcome townie and bean (and any other newbies I missed

bean welcome. are you recently off birth control. it takes a while for things to settle. 2 years on my cycles were better but still not the same length each "month"

ain the key to success us being prepared. on a Sunday I make wholewheat blueberry muffins for dhs breakfast. its a BBC good food recipe here but they were a bit dry so I changed quantities to 200ml yoghurt, 60g oats 150g flour. I also chuck in about 25-30g goji berries for nutrients. he is terrible with breakfast and finds 1 muffin is enough (I love breakfast so wouldn't be enough for me) with a smoothie. I freeze the muffins and he either gets out night before or defrosts in microwave. if you have a couple of muffin trays you could make and freeze a load. tinned soups are not a bad choice but are full of crap like sweeteners so make your own soup and freeze. there are so many possibilities with an oxo cube and a pile of veg. good way to use up leftovers too. I've been eating omelettes for lunch but I wfh so I can, but perhaps you could do that at weekend. I just have cheese and mushrooms in them. I've also done parma ham, melon, mango and mozzarella salad with rocket and balsamic. a but time consuming to chop fruit but done night before and keep a bottle of balsamic at work to put on fresh should be fine.I got recipe here (sorry for mobile versions but on phone). I make curry quite often and recently have done this one but have bulked up on the chicken and served without any rice. I use a balti curry paste by pataksbut plan to make my own when I run out. if you like salmon try these but don't serve with rice, instead blitz cauliflower in a good processor until it looks like rice then put in a bowl with cling film over and shove in microwave for 7mins. its a great rice replacement. (thank you Jamie Oliver).
if you can find wholewheat pasta sheets try this lasagne. I couldn't get flax seed so just used sunflower seeds, and couldn't get minced pork so used Turkey.
also if I make lasagne, chilli, bolognese etc I ALWAYS make a batch and freeze 2-3 meals worth. a spag bol base can easily become a chilli or cottage pie once defrosted so I often do that to freeze. then your nights when u need a quick meal are sorted.
as for snacks I've been trying to up my fruit intake as I'm useless for it. I've been having dried apricots with sunflower or pumpkin seeds, or raisins with the seeds. I've had bananas in and clemantines. I have stopped all yoghurt except natural from passing my lips and I actually prefer it. if you can afford to I also recommend going organic, at least on the meat. they use a lot of hormones in non organic meat that can affect your natural hormones. if I think of more I'll let you know but hope that gives u a starting point.....must sleep now!!

lildottie - thanks for the advice. However, I was not on the pill, haven't been for years, just using condoms. so it's pretty weird. According to my calendar app my period is due (again!) in 12 days, and no ovulation this cycle. lol, nice one technology. Seriously though will I ovulate when I'm still bleeding on this stupidly long period?? should I be dtd whilst AF still here? Am I missing the boat?... oh lordy

Welcome bean and townie

Well I got my bfn this morning a week after the bleeding started so that means I'm cd8 and ready to get back on the horse so to speak. Feel ready to start again and hoping that Christmas will distract me. Come on cycle! You don't need to be a wtf one! wishful thinking

Welcome bean! :)

Jc get back on it girl!!

Morning all. Fucking Monday. Fuckity fuck.

lil that did make me chuckle re the FRERS. I've told DP I'll ise the digi when I've had strong lines on a FRER or IC

Thanks lil I will be checking out those links in a bit (shouldn't be online now, should be getting ready for work!).

how is sweet potato? is it better than normal potatoes? and I will try to get hold of some wholewheat lasagne sheets. All the other party in the house is wholewheat as I really like it anyway...

I do need to get back in to the habit of bulk cooking and freezing again. I used to be very good at it

Most of our meat comes from a local butchers, but isn't organic. its good value though. Will have to check out prices of his organic stuff next time we go.

really must get ready for work!!

Welcome to our two newbies!!

JC that bfn is bittersweet very difficult but also means you can try again if you feel up to it. Gx xx

Name: Chat
Age: 33
DCs: One threenager, a cat with a poo problem, two fish and a snail.
TTC: throughout 2014. Two mcs, three baby beans lost; now the proud incubator of a small lime, DD has helped me establish this is roughly the same length as a 2x4 Duplo brick. Continuing to lurk and wave pompoms :)

Welcome Bean and Townie, come play on the good ship JS! Townie, so sorry to see you've an Angel - how long ago? Don't feel you have to talk about them if it's too much.

Ain I can't add anything further to what Purple and Lil have to say about PCOS - except that it's been used to explain unexpected pregnancies :) Hope not all lost.

Hope you're starting to recover a little JC, it's hard to see that BFN but al least you know where you're at

May I pop in?

Name: Mistletoeprickles
Age: 27
DCs: 1
TTC: June 2014, Started Metformin in October 2014 and I'm officially in my first tww.

I only had breakfast an hour ago but my tummy is rumbling reading all the lovely healthy food ideas. Since I've started a 4hr daily commute I've become so naughty with cooking and I eat so much rubbish!

Hi Mistletoe! Welcome :) Your name is perfect for this fred title :D

Sunshine a 4hr commute? What the hell??? That's insane. My 35 minute commute is about enough for me lol!

The commute is the most soul destroying thing. It's only for another 3 months which is the only reason I have managed to carry on. I change the place I work every 6 months - 1yr so it's either move house that often or do some huge commutes. Needless to say I now live on pasta with pesto or fish finger sandwiches to save time.

Sounds horrendous Pickle - I had a 90-minute each way commute for 18m and it broke me. Hated the job, never saw anyone - rubbish. What work do you do (6m job-changes sound eerily familiar...)? Fish finger sandwiches are a food of the Gods, regardless of the time of day.

Welcome Mistletoe!

At-home day today, national strike means no public transport at all. So no school run, might step out to get some eggs to do some baking later, I have a lovely cinnamon cookie recipe I need to try out :)

Wow that's insane! Although fish finger sandwiches...mmmmmmm

One of my cats had molten diarrhea this morning. My fault for giving them different food last night (ran out of their normal food). Made me gag slightly cleaning their litter box...

Actually can't wait to get upduffed so I can palm all this shit (literally) off on to DP

Chat I'm a doctor, so stuck moving around for at least another 6yrs. I love the speciality I do, but get really grumpy constantly moving about just as I make friends.

jelly I can empathise with your cat situation, on Friday every time my cat farted she dribbled poo down her leg and she stunk!

Morning Viroids, just a quicky to add stats & will catch up later - very heavy weekend

Name; Noniks
Age; 31
DCs; none, but have 2 scrummy spaniels
TTC; July 2014, CP Nov 14

Welcome bean, townie & mistletoe

Hi, hope yu don't mind me joining...

Name - Betty
Age - 26
Ttc - since sept 2014
Dc - one dd and two insane kittens

And can totally empathise with awful commute, half and a half on buses each way for me, freezing hell!

Hi Betty :D

So many new people! Great stuff! This fred won't last till Friday at this rate

I don't know how you ladies cope with such lengthy commutes. I walk to work and pop home most lunchtimes. This is the main reason I stick at my current job, you must live your jobs to do that each day!

Me too, Pickle - love the specialty, hate the constant movement. On a career break at the moment while we sample life on the continent so can't complain . Need to have a proper think about it once this baby comes along though, I won't have too much in the way of help with nursery and school runs from DH as he'll still be overseas for at least a few months.

I'd love to be able to walk to work, Fleur, I've just never come across a hospital I'd like to live near!

Welcome, Betty :)

Do you prefer living in Europe as opposed to UK Chat? DP and I have considered a move to Germany before but decided against it in the end.

I have always thought if I had the chance to emigrate I would though!

Wow, lots of newbies! Welcome mistletoe and betty!

I drive between clients not a hooker but the furthest atm is only 20 mins so nice and local.

Swings and roundabouts, Jelly. Some things are great here (healthcare is better organised, twice-weekly rubbish collection, lots of after-school activities and holiday stuff for youngsters, no boozing culture, people look after themselves better), other bits I would change in an instant (family GP, the driving, the red tape, thick sliced white bread...)! It's a good experience (so far) and I would do it again, but probably somewhere without a language barrier so I could work - I really do miss it.