On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

So sorry for your loss town certainly puts my moans into perspective welcome to the madhouse

gaggia whattup?

Sorry! Well my blank messages didn't work! I thought I knew how to do them!

Cursed by double post again. Bah.

You're a pro at double posts though!

Ah, nostalgia! Gaggia and her double posts!

So sorry to hear about your Angel, townie

Spent the last 90 mins in the hot tub! not hot only 36° and very clean it was lovely. Nice to have a good ole chat with dh without distractions.

We are doing a stocking for each other this year ( and no other presents). I need ideas of silly little fillers.... Do you guys buy stocking fillers for your partners?

Also, where should we go on holiday for our anniversary? Somewhere with plenty to see, not expensive, probably Europe.

dh and I buy about 20 presents each, some sensible some silly. how about boxers, socks, gift card for favourite coffee shop, mug, ummmm!

we really enjoyed Ypres (Belgium) for the war memorials/history to see. maybe you could carry on across and stay with chat

I am not joining these threads, one little bugger is enough for now, but would like to say excellent thread title OP!

And good luck to you all

Thank you coffee!

Hmmm I will do a bit of shopping I think! Won't get too much, we are poor and dh will prob just get a few things for me.

honey mine is getting christmas socks, a Dr who book, chocolately bits and some silly bits from firebox.com

honey go to croatia. It's cheap cos it's not in the euro and it's beautiful. Loads of sightseeing and lovely beaches. Plus it's really cheap to get around using the ferries if you don't want to stay in one place.

CONTRABAND ALERT I've bought some cheap opks which I swore I would never do as squinting at hpts makes me crazy enough but temping just doesn't work and I do want to make sure I'm ovulating.

AF has finally left town so looking forward to donning the cape as soon as possible it's been over a week dammit soon.

We're not really doing presents but agree for stockings things like chocolate, socks, ties, cufflinks, gift vouchers e.g. for a cinema trip, cd/itunes voucher, magazine subscription, alcohol.

Also agree on Croatia. It's great.

Wow this thread moves quickly.

ain I have PCOS , I was diagnosed 17 and never really understood the ins and outs of it at that ages. At about 21 I went to see a specialist because by then I had lots of questions, she explained how I might need help conceiving etc. 4 months later I was in complete shock sat in the docrors being told I was pregnant (wasn't planned)

Fast forward 4 years and we've begun trying for #2 which has been hard. We started in June but with no way of tracking ovulation (opks didnt work because I naturally have a high LH level) and periods all over the shop its been a guessing game.

In October I started badgering the GP to test for ovulation, he did and nothing so was put on metformin and I'm finally seeing the consultant later this week. The metformin seems to of put my cylces at 30 days which means I'm on my first ever tww providing I did ovulate. Its very frustrating not knowing if I did but im just thinking positive at this stage.

Coffee why not just join us for a bit of shagging? ...although not in the swinger sense lol! And thanks for the compliment, I thought up the title driving home from football!

Donned the cape after drinking far too much sangria at a Christmas do last night! Although it felt a bit forced (I told DP I didn't mind if we skipped last night, he insisted we did it). I have a groin injury from football, which made shagging interesting lol! But we managed it!

Gaggia I miss your double posts!!!

Who is Twotting / Testing soon?

middles id recommended doing opks alongside temping as they alone don't confirm ovulation.

coffee hi, yes come and just join in the shagging. we need a new mascot since zing became so busy with her expanded brood! zing if ur lurking will you come and draw us a unicorn!!

Yes, cracked here and using contraband opks for first time and starting to wonder if I will ever ice... Day 13 and nothing at all :(
Am sure you are all too virtuous with regard to contraband to know but is it normal to have had no hormonal surges at all by that stage? A bit despondent now.

I know but I rarely sleep through the night and wake up every hour or so so I think I'd be questioning how accurate my temps were all the time. If nothing happens in a few months I'd be tempted to give it another go.

deeply you are tres early for me. I have 30 day cycles, surge on day 14/15 ice on day 15/16. I get no build up with opks, just boom a positive! So keep the faith, I think la and others ice on day 20 something so no need to panic, just keep shagging

honey how are you twotting? We were all synched up but you left me behind
Major ewcm but in the spirit of having a month off I didn't jump him. Knowing I can't get upduffed before my prolactin is brought down makes me want to avoid my fertile window to avoid all doubt and crazies over Christmas. Feels weird

deeply I've iced as late as cd25 before with no surge until cd24 so don't worry. in fact worrying/stressing can delay icing so just keep calm. are you doing cheap ic opks? if so do u know u don't use them with fmu? 10am-6pm is best time to do them.

Deeply shame on you using opk's! we use them all the bloody time, some of us are fricking queens of knowledge (looking at Lil here) Assuming I did ovulate yesterday (i've been getting almost positive OPK's) then I iced on CD 17, so you may be testing too early. Not everyone has the perfect cycle and ovulates on CD13-14. You may have a shorter LP, so don't panic. :) Also did you use FMU?

Talking of CD17, it was CD17 last time that I had my random mini-AF, so if she doesn't come to join me today/tonight then I think I may be back to normal-ish cycles!!!

I'm twotting here. Af due on 17th.

deeply I used to ice on day 21, in fact I think la and myself used to stop shagging too soon in our cycles until we checked and found out! So don't worry :)

jelly thanks for the kind offer, but the little squirmy toddler is why we're to tired for even just plain old shagging in this house.
fecking kids!

Maybe Dh can pencil me in for some time next year.

well I'm CD20 here and according to CBFM I iced on CD16, temp has been consistently going up but FF still hasn't confirmed I'm twotting so don't know what the feckers is going on! - sorry for the language, but frustrated! :-/