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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

999 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2014 13:00

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

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toastedcheesesandwich · 10/01/2015 22:21

Hi everyone, still in the interminable 2ww. I go through different stages, the first week I'm so excited and looking out for symptoms and implantation pain. The second week (bearing in mind this could just be normal pmt...) I lose the excitement and am too tired to think about it as much! I've no idea what the result will be this month but I can test in 2 days or so.

toastedcheesesandwich · 11/01/2015 10:16

BFN this morning, don't think it's happening this month. So disappointed as we gave it a really good goHmm

JessieMcJessie · 11/01/2015 10:34

Sorry to hear that toasted. Though you never know for sure till AF arrives. It really sucks having decided to have a baby and realising that it's impossible to control when (or even if) it happens, doesn't it?

I ended up getting quite drunk last night, probably wasn't very wise but I was just in that sort of mood. To help my hangover I watched the Call the Midwife Christmas special on iplayer- all the birth scenes actually put me off having a baby slightly! Smile

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HS26 · 11/01/2015 19:50

Could definitely be too early, toasted.

My sis is about to give birth (she's already 6 days overdue) and I was thinking today (while at the cinema) that this is her last week of being able to go out easily whenever she wants!!

Maybe we should all look at it like that ... enjoying our 'just us' months until we have another (hopefully) to consider!

Oh, who am I kidding ... but I AM able to look at it like this occasionally! ;-)

xx

toastedcheesesandwich · 12/01/2015 12:48

Thanks HS26, still no AF but have terrible PMT. Am so grouchy.
Jessie - I've indulged in cake for breakfast, too early for wine haha!

HS26 · 13/01/2015 13:59

I know it's a cliche, toastedcheese, but it's not over til it's over ...

My sister just gave birth this morning. Excited to have a new niece of course, but it also feels a little hard ...

Got to go shopping for a gift, now ... let's just hope I'm shopping for myself before too long! :-)

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2015 14:43

Congrats on your niece HS. Remind me when you get to test this month? I am now 9 dpo, feel totally normal- no symptoms whatsoever. Pretty pessimistic, though I know that not everyone gets symptoms. Roll on the moment of POAS truth!

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HS26 · 13/01/2015 14:58

Hi, Jessie!

Hey, snap! I'm 9dpo (or possibly 8), too!

I feel totally normal, too ... from what I've read over these past months though you it would be rare to be able to tell anything one way or another at this stage. I've obsessed over 'symptoms' in previous months, but don't feel like I can trust them (or lack of them!) any more.

I won't test ... I'll just wait for af, which is due, I guess, Monday(ish).

Good luck!! (let us know as soon as you know one way or the other!)

toastedcheesesandwich · 13/01/2015 17:00

Congratulations on your niece HS26! No AF yet but have had a BFN every morning since Sat. I was convinced it was over for this month on Sunday but now am not sure what's going on and I have a 5% hope. I googled and apparently implantation can be as late as 12 dpo, then takes at least 5 days after that to show up in a urine test. This gave me a bit of hope!

HS26 · 13/01/2015 21:50

Thanks for the congrats ... really looking forward to meeting my new niece this weekend!

From what I've read/heard, it's common not to get a +ve on a test until day of af or even beyond. Possibly it's the exception rather than the rule to get one too much earlier? (I think ... ;-) So yes, there is still hope, toasted!

I'm feeling a bit queasy and off this evening, but I think it's sinusitis ... sadly ... hehehe.

toastedcheesesandwich · 14/01/2015 17:07

Queasy sounds good HS26 (I mean in the TTC sense!)
When will you be able to test Jessie?
2 days late for AF with a BFN every morning here. Feel occasional rumblings of period pain so think AF is on its way.

HS26 · 14/01/2015 17:38

Oooh, toasted, 2 days late? Is that normal for you? :-)

toastedcheesesandwich · 14/01/2015 18:39

Not really, but I had period type pain earlier which comes and goes. I have off-the-scale pmt mood swings. Just awful!

HS26 · 14/01/2015 22:22

Well, to me that sounds a bit promising if it isn't normal for you to be late. I've heard of people getting a BFP with a few af cramps.

Anyway, fingers crossed ... :-)

toastedcheesesandwich · 15/01/2015 07:28

AF arrived this am - but thanks for the hope! Are you still feeling queasy?

HS26 · 15/01/2015 09:20

Oh, dang, toasted. It's especially cruel when af is a bit late, isn't it? My periods have been a bit weird since my 'weird month' (poss chem) first month ttc so I always get my hopes up every month now only to be disappointed.

Really sorry, but now it's time to have a glass of wine and look forward to the next chance. Be good to yourself today. :-)

P.S. Still feeling vaguely queasy on and off, but I honestly think it's just sinus troubles. Still four days to go for me, so no signs of anything yet.

JessieMcJessie · 15/01/2015 09:36

Bummer toasted, how annoying to have had those couple of days late to get your hopes up. Reward yourself with a strong drink and the knowledge that you are still very much in the "totally normal" category when it comes to length of time ttc (cos I think you started in October, like we did, so only 3 or 4 cycles so far, right?)

A friend of mine recently told me that it took her and her DH 7 months to conceive their first, and she was only 32. She has had another 2 in quick succession since then, so definitely no fertility issues!

I plan to test on Saturday, which will be 13 dpo. However I think I can already feel my body gearing up for AF as usual. Still hoping though.

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toastedcheesesandwich · 15/01/2015 16:38

Am having an awful painful period to add insult to injury. Im eagerly awaiting your weird symptoms and results though!

HS26 · 15/01/2015 18:46

Oh, so sorry, toasted. I feel for you - painful periods are awful at the best of times, but especially now ...

Well, I just had a mini-meltdown on the hubs because I think I can feel af coming (not due for 3 days or so but I seem to be getting rumblings earlier and earlier each month). Was good though because he was really nice to me about it (after quite a few months of being quite half-hearted about the whole thing) and we made an action plan including going to the docs soon to get ourselves checked out. :-)

bernad105 · 15/01/2015 20:07

Hi all
Added a post a few weeks ago and then never got back online.

Looks like a few of you are testing this weekend! Good luck.
With 3 miscarriages under my belt in the last year and turning 42 this September I can't wait much longer!!
10dpo tomorrow...not sure I can resist the temptation to test but know i'm testing too early!
Aaaargh!

JessieMcJessie · 16/01/2015 02:57

Hi Bernad. I will be 42 at the end of August. I try to tell myself it's just a number. Glad you came back to update us. Have you had any medical investigation into the miscarriages? I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but could you take some hope from having at least got to implantation stage a few times?I haven't got that far yet and judging by the cramps I feel today, haven't this month either. Good luck waiting to test!

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JessieMcJessie · 16/01/2015 03:02

Oh and HS sorry about your meltdown, but I know exactly how you feel. Doc visit for us too this month I think, though am terrified what I might find out. My sister in law was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 38 and that has spooked me totally. She is devastated and she and my bro didn't even think they wanted children (it was found during tests for something else).

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HS26 · 16/01/2015 10:49

Jessie, you are only 41 and a few months young still! Put the next bday out of your mind! ;-)

Welcome back, Bernad! I agree that although the mc's must have been terrible to go through, it means that you still have a good chance.

I've got over my meltdown now! I felt a lot better after DH was so nice to me. He kept saying it's early days and we just need to keep trying, and perhaps a bit harder. We sometimes miss key days during ov. for various reasons.

Anyway, have a good day, all, and catch up with you again soon.

toastedcheesesandwich · 17/01/2015 13:53

Glad you have recovered from the meltdown HS26. I'm the queen of meltdowns and they really alarm my DH! He's more of the dealing with problems silently type whereas I like to "express" things??

Jessie as someone that's just turned 42, you should enjoy your extreme youth!

Bernard did you test yet??

Any strange symptoms for anyone? Queasiness? Sorry boobs??
I'm totally out this month so have to live vicariously through you all...

bernad105 · 17/01/2015 14:05

Hi ladies
Well I'm 11dpo and got a bfn this morning. Silly to test really but I got a bfp on 11dpo before! Will try again Monday but not feeling very optimistic.
Yes Jess we've had lots of tests, I've got 2 autoimmune processes going on. Firstly an underactive thyroid but I'm on medication now (forever) and my levels are finally within normal range. Had a battle on my hands with my GP though and had to push the NICE guidelines under her nose and tell her I wasn't leaving until she gave me some when I fell pregnant second time around. My tsh was still way too high though at 14! Ive also got high and active NK cells. The consultant at my local hospital (under Mr Shehata who is an expert in this field) go the results wrong and said they were normal and not active, then I miscarried the 3rd time at 10 weeks. The next consultant said misinterpreting the results was probably the reason! We've had a totally shit time to be honest so are now going to bankrupt ourselves at the ARGC in London and see if we fare any better. Good news is we've had every test known to man done and everything seems to be in order now. I work for the NHS as a scientist and believe in the NHs but have to say I've never been more appalled and upset at the treatment we've received, I think it's shameful really.
Anyway sorry didn't mean to rant on, thanks for listening!!
Who's testing this weekend???
Wishing you all so much luck ThanksThanks