The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Oh viroids I'm so excited to have my nomadic ewcm as part of the title! I'm still not convinced it's in the right place but I'll take your word for it.

But in bad news I reeally can't be arsed with shagging tonight, what to do?! We've managed it on days 9, 11, 13 and 15 and today it is CD17. And with last cycle being a 31 day-er there is every possibility it could be icing day today. So I shouldn't fall at the last hurdle. Just need to hope the hubby is up for a quickie and not a marathon sesh. What a useless shagger I am turning out to be when I can't be bothered with it in month 1!

Is laying back and thinking of England an option bat?

Hi kez, can't remember if I said hi yet Welcome!

Yeah I guess so kezaroo - I'm trying not to say to him that we 'have' to shag for fear of immediately becoming a baby crazed lunatic or at least not openly but at the same time I want to give it my best shot so I'd better man up! And maybe I'll just have to say it is for functional purposes or it will be a lengthy ordeal session!

Welcome by the way! I'm a newbie and only seem to find the time to pop in every couple of days by which time I've missed about 20 pages of chat but I'll try harder!

Hi indigo! I'm not sure either and in all honesty I've not been on here all day so if you did I may have missed it.

lil I've tried that one before but it doesn't work with my DH.

I went from asking nicely if he would shut it to making remarks in hope he would click on. Then I started to slam them shut while he was there, and pulling an angry face. He got around that one by the fact we bought soft closing doors when we had the new kitchen put in.

These days even if I am stood next to it, I shout him over and remind him he's left it open. Although if he had done it last week I would have probaby ran upstairs to the bathroom to cry.

He's learning albeit slowly.

I would like to think that after 7 years of living together, I have made some progress.

Mega fail on stopping smoking today. Didn't even think about it until I was on 2nd break at work. I was like 'puff puff - oh shit I was meant to stop ' puff puff'

Agree with kez, bat. Possible to have a quickie with very little effort?

Thanks bat. Yes with the speed this thread gets bigger I think I manage to miss half of the viroids' posts, then forgolet names of who's put what!

Come on bat you can do it! Just think how good you will feel after (I have to do that when it comes to exercise).... and you could have the night off tomorrow!

Forgolet? Wtf?

Ah yes the lovely nights off haha - meanwhile the hubby if having the time of his life having had 2 months worth of shags in a week!

bat get shagging!

You lot talk lots. Over 100 posts in one day. That's mental. Used to take us 2 weeks to fill a Fred!

Right - here's the rules. It's too early to POAS any earlier than 11dpo at least! so sit on your hands and put the pissy sticks away.

If you get pant snot - shag.

If you get positive opk not sure why you would coz they're contraband!! - shag

If you feel in the mood - shag

Hooyahs all round and of course I'm perfect because I never POAS at 6dpo or used up millions of opks no no, cough cough!

I have sore nips. I have them a squeeze to see if they hurt. They didn't, but the bloody are now!

Lol I kept having a squeeze wandering why my boobies didn't hurt...then the cat stamped across them. Now they do!

Hooyahs all round you naughty lot I didn't poas at 6dpo, ahem

It could be 'porn' or 'cunt' but I'm not allowed on this thread from work!!

I do wonder sometimes if MNHQ will say anything about the titles but they don't seem bothered

Hahahaha Kato, I imagine it's both. Think MNHQ have probably got enough on their hands with copious trolls to worry about a little old cunthawk.

mountain I remember you doing that! And when someone (maybe la) queried it your reply was something along the lines of "all too easy to indulge when you are at work".. Gee look how that turned out, you are currently baking up a little dose of baby mountain Or should I say "hill"?

.......

(Laughs at own joke)

Ha ha kato, we've been censored out I often think mn is very liberal in what they let us say.

Btw bat, get shagging! I often think I seriously cba but then, like work, it's never as bad when you're there!

Lol it was worse when the first part of the title said jizz and I had an open tab of this Fred and someone read it at work....(the title not the Fred)...lol

OPK was negative tonight. Pretty bummed out. Fuck knows why I'm not icing.

jelly I'm also in the land of negative as fuck OPKs. Remind me what cd? Are you using ICs?

kez did you used to work for a place in Chesterfield that sounded like it has numbers in the name and has an egg shaped logo? I'm just wondering if I know you :)

Can you open the "sweary thread" Kato? or sweaty thread as the current one says

zyla omg what a coincidence that would be!! starts panicking that I too may be spotted by someone I know

evening viroids.
just been catching up and I found this lemon might help keep you strong....

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=11

(hope it works, never done a link on here before :-/ )
anyway, despite that I still had to poas yesterday just to shut DH up as he was convinced I was pregnant (at 8DPO!) I laughed when it came up bfn but I did resist the urge to say "told you so" which might have been a bit mean even if he didn't believe the biology lesson I gave him!!!
pretty certain AF is on her way anyway, boobs hurt beyond a joke the same as they have since I came off bcp and I'm all cramps and a little hormonal. just kind of want her here now and out of the way so can get on it again!!

jelly its only cycle 2 of AF being back. ive told you before all the boredom of my irregular long weird cycles after stopping contraception. don't make me tell you again! what CD u on?

Agree jelly! You're still going to be a bit all over the place. Xx

Ummmm, no don't think so Zyla

Thinking about places I've worked out now...

Are you in Chesterfield then? Or nearby?