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The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
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22
jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 09:54

Think parsley was Gaggia's thing?

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 09:56

Wil don't lurk, join in the crazy, and I had no idea mountain and patiently were the same?! I am not awake yet this morning.

The parsley was to neutralise our acid fanjos, after watching the great sperm race. Someone suggested shoving parsley up a tart tuppence would help the sperm, iirc. Like I said though, I am not awake, and am also having crazy dreams, so may have missed some of the detail.

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:56

Gaggia was thinking of stuffing parsley up her foof.
Can't remember why...

Indigoblue2 · 17/11/2014 09:58

Does gaggia need a reason to do crazy things?

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 10:02

Gaggia, you have this ttc malarkey all wrong. Awesome penis up the bum and parsley up the chuff does not a baby make.

Noniks3 · 17/11/2014 10:02

hey all - new Fred already?!

Parsley up the chuff was to bring on AF I think?

DulcetMoans · 17/11/2014 10:02

I'm allowed over here now - yay! Agree about stats as things change from one fred to another, lets go back to that from the ext one.

Stick around live, you can cheer lead instead if you like!

I don't think parsley was the only thing she was shoving up there either. Or was that a different hole?! Wink

Noniks3 · 17/11/2014 10:10

Can new start putting CD on the stats too so I know where my next potential POAS hit is coming from?

I am Noniks, a POAS addict either by myself or through others Blush (CD12 BTW)

honeysucklejasmine · 17/11/2014 10:44

Noniks i am 7dpo. Put it on your calendar! Wink

Indigoblue2 · 17/11/2014 10:58

Cd13 noniks, just ahead of you. What's your icing situation this cycle or do you think it's going to be a bit wtf?

honey that's gone quick, any symptoms?

Yeah stick around live, you can cheer us on Smile

middle do you think the nip thing is a symptom, what cd are you?

Noniks3 · 17/11/2014 11:06

oooh Honey, when are you proposing to POAS?!?!

normally ice on CD16 here Indigo, am bracing myself for WTF just in case it's a bit wafty this month. Will start temping tomorrow so I can confirm but it's cape time regardless!

yes Middle state your stats and maybe POAS.....

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 11:15

I'm on CD12 today, no idea if I've iced or when I'm due to ice.

If I were to pee on an OPK, is around 7:30pm ok to do it? I don't fancy bringing them in to work with me lol...

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 11:18

Noniks I'm CD17, so you have an 11 day wait for me, I'm afraid!

TinkerBlue · 17/11/2014 11:27

I'm CD20! So 10 days before I graduate!

jelly are you planning on opks every cycle? If not and you are planning to opk just for a couple to get an idea of what's going on, I can recommend clear blue dual hormone digis. They require fmu so may help with your timing issues. However they cost a fortune so not good for long term useage! Wink

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 11:31

Tink I only really want to do it to see if I am actually icing. I have no idea if/when I do because my cycles are so effed up! I bought the IC OPK's and was planning on peeing on them daily, but could also branch out to the CB version if they are more accurate?

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 11:41

Ok all, think I need a hooyah.

It's CD17 (prob 2 DPO as I had 2 lines on the OPK on CD14) and today I feel really sick and have a horrible taste in my mouth. All I can think is that this is morning sickness and I am upduffed! Someone hand me a grip, please.

middles809 · 17/11/2014 11:48

indigo I'm on cd22 of a 33 day cycle (that's how long it was last month - my first month off the pill but that's how long they always were off it). I think I ov'd on CD19 and dtd that night. Trying not to get my hopes up that its a symptom as it feels too early. Also have some back pain and am really gassy. Trying to not think about until the weekend and then I'll see how I feel.

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 11:49

Ah...just got a call from the Police...

I got through to the next stage of the application process.....

middles809 · 17/11/2014 11:51

noniks way too early to poas. Would love too as I'm going out on Friday and there's a free bar which I would like to make full use of Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 11:51

Yay jelly! Well done! How do you feel?

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 12:02

Erm I don't know actually. A part of me is excited, but another part of me is a bit scared, because I will have to stop TTC and put a large part of my life on hold if I get through this last stage.

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 12:04

Oh, big decisions! Why do you have to stop TTC? What does the last stage entail?

Jell, give me a hooyah, I have just POAFS...

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 12:16

That's fab Jelly! Better to have the decision to make yourself rather than them saying you hadn't got through.

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 12:17

Lemon you have peed on a stick at 2dpo? Have my biggest ever hooya!!!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 12:20

Yes Wil, I did. Because I am a twat of the highest order, and very nauseous. Nausea did not recede with the neg result, either, which has only strengthened the ridiculous notion that this is morning sickness and it is simply too early for the test to confirm I am right Blush

Fuck me, I'm crazy, aren't I?