The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

CD 12 I think.

Sorry for being such a downer, I tried deleting that after I typed it. I have the upmost resepct for you ladies who have been doing this a lot longer than me. I just wish I knew what my body was doing. I hate not having control over it! Sorry!!!

I'll shut up now lol!

Worked AT not OUT!

I used to be kez I'm in nottingham now :). Promise I'm not stalking you hehe

Ah ok. I've just been thinking and I haven't worked for a company in Chesterfield with an egg shaped logo.

Jeez. I'm going to be careful what I put now... I don't want anyone I know, to know it's me posting on here!

Also jelly did you not say you were on CD12? It would be very early icing if you did now!

disclaimer: could all newly upduffed viroids please ensure their curtains are closed before reading the below. Thank you.

As long as we're talking about boobs do any of you pg viroids have the fabled blue ones yet? I know quite a few of the very pg viroids said they did in early pg, but what about you recent grads? Also, whilst I'm at it - is the big dark nipple thing true? actually, I'm going to insert a disclaimer at the top of this post!
Anyway, let me know.....

No sorry! I don't want you to fret, you're just about the same age as someone I worked with and your username could come from her real name. If it helps she was lovely! :)

tink I haven't had blue boobs, but am 24 weeks now and mine have been nuclear reactor hot do most of the pg, and my nipples are now larger and sometimes darker, but weirdly only sometimes hmmm...

jelly never feel bad for being honest - we're here to support each other. Not judge! Xxxx

Wow you lot have been busy!

La I'm loving the 'favourite things' remix.

mountain great Fred title.

Jelly congrats on the getting through to the next stages.

I can't really get on here when I'm at work. I can use my phone, but I'm always so busy I don't get chance to look at it, and then I always have pages of stuff to read when I get home. Definitely getting some much needed laughs this evening! Indigo your bad joke particularly made me smile! Haha. It's been a long day!

I decided to take a leaf out of Mr Lemons book and woke up DH by dtd this morning. Hope he gets the hint and returns the favour at some point. I'm sure I'm not icing, but it can't hurt to dtd just in case. Ya never know.

Are they longer zyla?

Great first day lil, pill taken, water drunk and bad food ignored - you are owning this after 1 day.

jelly don't worry - moaning is what we are here for. The not knowing is always the hardest part. We have all been there, waiting and not knowing. Just keep calm and keep checking.

I'm so cold! Got a botty on the sofa now. Trying to persuade cat to lay on my feet again.

I'm curious now Zyla.... where abouts in Chesterfield was the Company?

KH that's really helpful, thanks! This will help me explain it to DH as well; he walked through the door this evening and promptly asked me if I was pregnant yet! I am taking my BF neg this morning to excuse my drinking a BF glass of

I did find this site this afternoon though, in order to quell my pissy urges...

Thanks ladies :)

Tink blue books are a thing??? That's mental!! (And amazing)

Really random question coming up, how many sexual partners have you had? I've had two, DP (who I met at Uni) and my first proper boyfriend from school (DTD the first time when we were 17 lol).

DP has had 1 (me).

2 over here jelly, although my ex wasn't exactly much to write home about. Is 1.5 acceptable?

tink no, just a bigger area!

kez I'll pm you

Tink, I am blue all over. My veins have become much more obvious in general, including in my boobs. Nipples also darker and a bit harder/bigger. Don't think it happened for a while though.

Oh god no idea - stopped counting! :) also some of them were dubious - did it go in?

jelly I bet you ice later this week! Cape on the lead up to it girl!
5 - had a couple of long term relationships. Never really sown my wild oats!

3 here jelly, school bf, ex bf who I moved in with at 19. was with him 3 yes, and dh. kinda wish I'd had more why d'ya ask?

and don't apologise for the crazy, its what we are here for whether you've been trying 5 minutes or 5 years! but tink is right, cd12 would be early compared to "average" 28 day cycle so please don't panic. I know it must be worse after not having AF for so long but your body will sort itself out, it just needs time to remember what to do a bit quicker! last cycle was the first time I had a cycle identical to the one before since I came off the pill 27 months ago! and now I'm screwing around with more pills and fake hormones hilariously!

dulcet yeah I'm quite pleased with day 1. have missed 2 of my snacks though and feel I should have them to get all the nutrients!

lmfao at did it go in la!!!

Great big nips tink but not really blue. I will look better later though.

Just the one partner here. High school sweethearts I feel lovey today too.

I was a serial long-term relationship-er. Went from one two year relationship to a one-year relationship to two years. Between them I'd have a month or two where I'd end up making a couple of mistakes!!!

It's not that many, I think it's below 15 but I couldn't actually tell you for sure. That's really bad isn't it?

God, someone make me feel better!!!

not at all la, I'm actually jealous!