The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Name: Noniks
Age: 31
TTC: July '14
DCs: 2 spaniels & otherwise in limbo!!

Name: la, LaLa, leela
Age: 34
TTC: since July 2013, mc sept 2014
DC: brand new upduffed with DC1, crossing everything this one sticks.
Have my ginger kitties as my furry DCs in meantime.

Name: jcandy
Age: 30
TTC: Aug 14
DC: none just two little furry terrors, Franklin and Bruce the Guinea pigs

Name: Jelly
Age: 24
TTC: Aug 2014
DC: Nada
Furry DC's: 2 kittehs!

Name: Chat
Age: 33
DC: 3yo DD. Plus a tabby cat on her last warning, two fish and a snail
TTC: All year, currently (hopefully) clinging onto a kidney bean who will adopt the moniker indestructabean should all stay well. MC March and August.

Name: kh or butt
Age: 34
TTC: August 2014
DCs: 2 DSD's plus

Name: Dulcetmoans
Age: 29
DC: none
TTC: March 2012, One MMC July 2014, MC Sept 2014, currently hoping for third time lucky at just over 5 weeks. GX!

Name: Purplecircle
Age: 40
TTC since Jan 14, currently suspended
DC: none, mc July 14

Name: Indigo
Age: 29
DCs: None
TTC: July 2014

Name: Honey
Age: 28
TTC: Since Aug 14, MC Sept 14
DC: none yet! Two furry monsters obsessed with stealing sponges.

Name: Lemon
Age: 27
DC: no human babies. Replica baby in the form of a cat, Toulouse. Accident prone and on a mission to keep the vet in luxury yachts in the Caymans.
TTC: Nov 2014

Name: Ainat
Age: 27
DC: one fur baby in the form of a Jack Russell Terrier
TTC: August 14

Name: Mountain (was patiently)
Age: 27
DC: Currently incubating a peppercorn (plus a gorgeous fur baby also known as nutty bengal)

SORRY MESSED UP --

Link to Part 32 is
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2230396-Remember-Remember-JS-in-November-no-to-bum-fun-car-shagging-and-worms-Control-your-stray-wombles-and-windy-boobs-Shout-WANKBADGERS-at-the-world-of-TTC-and-get-your-cape-on-for-JUST-SHAGGING-32?pg=1

Link to current Grads thread is www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2233097-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-15-Join-the-viroids-for-mucus-plugs-and-ball-bouncing

Thanks for the new fred Mountain

In honour of the new thread I just watched some glorious sporn videos on YouTube.

Great title mountain

Great title Mountain! :-) love having a new home to go to, will have to work on filling the old one up in the morning! :-) x

Nice one mountain! Now come on all we need to go back and fill up that Fred! Don't let me ramble on my own...

I might have got carried away...

Can I be controversial and say I preferred when we used to all type our stats at start of new Fred? It always felt to me like a fresh start and new chance when I was ttc for so long. Ignore me if no one else feels that way! I don't mind being the weirdo

Name: gaggia
Age: 32
TTC: July 2014 MC October 2014
DC: 3yo DD

Yay new Fred!!!!!!

Fuck it's Monday.....

I had a kebab last night so I'm going to do 3 fast days this week lol! Feel so bad but I just needed food!!

Still it's not raining out of my arse yet, and I even ate the salad! Lol.

This morning, I had what looked like cooked egg white cm....da fuq?

Name: lil
Age: 29
Dcs: 0
Ttc: forever Nov 12
Started bcp today ready for our first go at ivf!!

Name: Indigo
Age: 29
TTC: July 2014
DC's: None

Lurks in to say she agree with la stats are done in the beginning of a thread! Lurks out!

Got everything crossed for you lil

Yay, new Fred! I like to add the stats too...for the simple reason my kidney bean is now the size of a grape! This is very important to me

Exciting day Lil :)

Name: Tink
Age: 33
Ttc: xmas '08
Dc's: none

Really rooting for you lil. This is the very first day of the new chapter in your ttc journey!

Name: middles
Age: 31
TTC: since Oct 2014 (newb alert)
DC: none

In other news my nips are killing me today and have been since yesterday. I moaned to DP who consequently thought it was hilarious. Boys!

Oh Lil gingers, fingers, and everything else crossed for you! So exciting :D

Your Fred titles are so funny! They pop up on active threads and make me laugh, almost makes me want to ttc (almost).

livelablove Why thank you very much! Well perhaps if you find yourself wanting kids you can join us, or alternatively become a long time lurker to not miss out on the giggles

Last Fred we all found out we had tart tuppences and nurtured a love of sporn, and we now also have a JS national anthem in the same melody as 'my favourite things'.

lil I'm sorry! I literally copied and pasted from the last fred in a bit of a rush. .in hindsight I should have just left it..I agree la even as I was doing it. .

chat so pleased to hear your appointment went well and the bean is a toughy! Super news, really good to hear

Well done la! Fred full!

haha La love the end of the last fred there ;)

What's the parsley about?

Only just realised Mountain and Patiently were the same person.

Name:Wil
Supposed to be lurking but can't keep my mouth shut.
Upduffed with DC2.