The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

oooh Tink, you aren't too far either!

What happens next & when Jelly?

Lemon I am going to tag team hooya you!!

2DPO???????? Lemon come one gal, you watched the Great Sperm Race! It takes longer than that! You're gonna go mad at this rate!

I'd have to stop TTC because you have a 2 year probation in the police, and although you can go on Mat leave in that time, it doesn't look good and you don't get the full Mat pay. So it'd be more responsible to stop and wait for probation to finish before commencing. Plus, I'm not sure if being a police woman is the best job for someone with a baby?

Urgh so many decisions!!

oh Lemon, x post there. You need to step away from the pissy sticks! You aren't crazy, just a bit keen!

Jelly of course you can be a copper & a mum! In fact if you can raise a tiny human crimefighting yes I am imaging a jelly style super hero will be a piece of piss!

Haha love the vote of confidence Noniks :)

Jelly my SIL is a police officer and had 2 lovely girls! She was in the police when she had them too, it wasn't a problem, they just moved her off active duty when she was upduffed :)

and you'd have an actual real life cape - not just a metaphorical sex one!! as part of your super hero outfit, you understand

Oo I am liking this idea of a cape.....

That's good to know Zyla I know people have kids in the police obviously. I'm just being silly I think. We won't stop TTC until I have a firm offer though. Then we will see what happens I guess. I'd like to stay on the Fred as an honorary member though lol!

I won't make any firm decisions just yet, I still need to pass the medical and fitness (and with a semi broken foot that's going to be interesting haha).

Bless you Lemon. Wait a week and try again. Better to let your crazy out on here with us nutters lot than in real life.

Without sounding patronising (hopefully), I'd be tempted to go for the career option at your age Jelly, as getting into something new when you have kids feels a lot harder. Although obviously having children fairly young has its advantages too. Hope you're not as indecisive as me!

Placemarking (sorry I'm late... the traffic was awful)

Name:Tee
TTC: Since Feb/March 14
DC: Currently incubating a Lime Sized TinyTee @ 11+4

Love the Fred title.... :) x

Wow three pages into new Fred already!

Shakes pompoms good luck viroids!

Haha Wil I am possibly the most indecisive person ever.

To the point where (TMI alert) DP sked me what position we wanted to DTD the other night, and I totally froze up at him asking me to make a decision and told him to make it or I'd just go to sleep....

I agree though, a career change would be good, but so would startin a family. Maybe i'll see what happens first lol!

Haha I leave most of my decisions up to fate to avoid making them! Doesn't always work out for the best though... I'm a bit screwed career wise at the moment.

That's so funny that you couldn't decide on a position. Very polite of him to ask though .

Congratulations Jelly, you don't have to decide yet do you? I too am rubbish at decisions but tend to find I have a gut instinct with important ones. Don't think it's been wrong yet! You will know what to do

I'm CD22 today or 6dpo however you look at it. Planning to POAS on Sunday before me and DP head away to Wiltshire for a couple of nights

Oo exciting, weekend POAS. Think you will last till Sunday JC?

I don't need to make a decision yet, need to pass the medical and fitness first!

Then just keep going for now Jelly no point worrying if you haven't got to decide yet

I'm planning to wait that long don't like seeing the blank spaces and AF is due Monday or Tuesday so Sunday will still be early!!

Well done jelly do it all I say! Be a super woman, has it all type! Why not!?

lemon you do make me chuckle! Only a little tag hooyah from me for entertainment value! X

Anyone else thinking about trying not to try in December? I'll be twotting right through Christmas and due af new yearish and was thinking about trying not to try?!
Or is that just a complete recipe for disaster - trying to eliminate risks of another twot breakdown over Christmas, but would I just feel worse for not even trying? Gah, anyone else considering it?

I did actually contemplate this Tink. But then I looked at dates & figured that Christmas would be a good distraction from the TWOT (if stay on normal cycle would TWOT from 19th to New Years Day) although I'll obviously be massively upduffed from this month so this is irrelevant

Forgot to give gold star of ace-ness to Mountain to Fred title

And Lil - drink some bloody water already!!

Tink I'm with you. If it doesn't happen this month I think we'll solely JS and not pay any attention to dates etc. I'm not going to take any contraception, but I'm not going to actively try, either, IYSWIM. Although actually quite like the idea of POAS on Xmas day!

Afternoon viroids, I knew Mountain was someone else before but I didnt know who!

Jelly you need to make sure that you are not pregnant when you start as you won't even qualify for SMP then, you'd have to claim Maternity Benefit which is lower.

Woop! PC Jelly on da house! Well done gal

Stop peeing on sticks lemon, hooyah!

Thanks La, all hooyahs gratefully received

Wtf?! Can only see first post on each page!

honey I think you may have broken your internet.

On desktop site so i can read posts. But hugely annoying!
Not sure when i will poas. soon i'm sure

honey how many DPO are you? Sorry if you've said and I've missed it / forgotten...