The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

JC wanna POAS together on Saturday??? We can keep each other strong! Think Bat is also due to piss Friday or Sat, too?

Welcome Must! What CD are you? How old are DC1 and 2?

Welcome must
I'm not sure on who is over 40 on this Fred at the moment - we definitely had a few viroids over 40 until recently but they can be found on the Grads Fred now!!! Hope that gives you hope
I am 33 but my DH is also 43.

Did we lose Middles I thought she was due to poas this week?

Thanks Lemon. Had to check CD - just getting into lingo! Day 18 here - really have been JSing but need to get a bit more scientific - and give up the wine! DDs are 14 and 12 so nothing like MN back in the day. Proving quite tricky to get that Cape on with teenagers wandering about house and going to bed after us! How about you?

Thanks tinker, that does give me hope then. My OH is 46 and talks a good game but looked slightly nervous when I mentioned every other day to DTD! Have told him to man up.

Hey must! Welcome! There have been lots of 40+ on this Fred, we had a bumper crop of bfps recently and so a few moved to grads but they still pop back on here regularly to say hi. Fantastic that you're trying again with teenagers in the house, will make for lots of covert shagging!

candy don't feel down, gx for this weekend!

jelly you need to do a zyla and have a stern word with that witch. She told her where to go once and she did!

Am on train to York to spend a few days with my dm. Can not wait to see her, we are really close and I've not seen her since I was upduffed the first time before mc.

Arf at talking a good game!! Yes, sorry about CD acronym, I’m so used to them now I’ve been talking I acronyms in real life…

No kids of my own yet, this will be number one (GX) (gingers=fingers crossed) and the cape donning has been interesting! Sometimes perfunctory, sometimes hilarious, but we are lucking the sense that we live alone, so have nobody to bother us… Just say yes to a lot of sleepovers for the DCs, and perhaps ‘take baths’ / ‘go for walks’ with DH?!

Hiya Must! Welcome! I think La is good at stealth shags. She might give you some tips on it!

I am less depressed now and ready to start shagging again as soon as AF fucks off which should be today!

Hi Must :) Welcome! I think we have 1 resident over 40 on here?

La I'll start telling her to fuck the right off then!

Who is doing new Fred? We are getting close to finishing this one

You go Honey shag like a mad person!!

Thanks girls! Here's to lots of upduffing in time for Crimbo! I've bought some vitamins and am laying off the nightly glass or three wine with the OH but otherwise going to be strict with myself and not POAS or symptom spot. Have been checked out and had a scan as I've got a mahoosive fibroid (sorry TMI) but luckily the bugger is on the outside of the uterus so not a problem save that I already look 3 months preggers!

Need to get on with some bloody work or will not be able to afford a third one. Happy Hump(ing) Day to you all! xxx

Yeah my little bean was conceived on my lunch break ;)

are we all going have to sit on our hands and not post till we get a BFP?! nearly 900 posts - am gagging for some good stick action (of the pissing variety!)

Welcome must please note, there is no longer any TMI on this fred, i think that well and truly left us about 2 freds ago :-D and work!?!? Pah!! lol

Kh I think we left behind tmi from the start!

Pretty sure it's all been TMI from the off

Yeah, I was CD36 before I got a faint BFP, so it's certainly possible!

Mountain is in contact - she's playing that awful 48-hour HCG waiting game, which must be complete torture.

Welcome Mustbe, join the JS club. I track my CDs using the Fred, nowt more scientific than that. Most of the oldies are over on grads - it really does happen :) La is indeed the queen of stealth shags, listen to that girl!

Tradition has it that the Fred starter should be a newly upduffed viroid...so you pissers better get pissing!

I'm like a shag ninja. Was back at desk full of sperm 50 mins after leaving it.

mountain lovely, hope you're looking after yourself. Hcg game is awful I know. Sending you lots of love x

Mountain thinking of you

Presumably, there are plenty of pissers poised for a positive, no?

(Soooo fucking bored )

Thanks Chat. Going to send OH some filthy texts to get him (and me!) in the mood for later. Anyone got any views on best positions for TTC? Doggy supposed to be good? Am so knackered at the mo with all this shagging I fear that it may be more a case of "pull my nighty down when you're done"! Read somewhere that he should leave it in there afterwards until stiffy has gone - and what the hell are softcups?!

hahaha must i see you fit in well already :-)

I had to google softcup, from what i can gather they are disposable versions of a mooncup, which is a contraption to use at AF instead of pads or plugs? I think some ladies may have inserted a softcup after shagging to keep the jizz in there?!

some lovely viroids here do the elevated bum raise after sex but i think the jury is still out on if these are effective.....

as for positions, i'm already (only on cycle 3) at the point where i don't care how we do it we just do it lol! but yes any position that gets the swimmers closer to the cervix is supposed to be better (i.e doggy or missionary) :-D

Must - I'll be 41 in Feb...still lurking here although have moved to grad fred after BFP...now 8+5 (1st DC) and counting the days to scan as I had an MC last year, so pretty anxious. There's life in us old birds yet! Best of luck.

I'm out

Really taken it hard this month again Going to have a break through December, get test results back, have scan, then take a view in January whether to proceed with treatment or re-visit Social Services to adopt.

Cock sucking big fat hairy piss flaps

Oh tink I'm so sorry, what a bummer that just sucks.

oh tink am so sorry!! x

Oh lady's you have made me giggle and cheered me

Oh Tink I'm sorry. Enjoy yourself in December - don't feel you have to leave us though :)