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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 25/11/2014 20:48

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2244644-Time-of-the-month-alternative-names

AF alternatives...please let's use Vital's!

Indigoblue2 · 25/11/2014 20:49

Aww honey that's lovely news!

kezaroo · 25/11/2014 20:59

I've read it can be about 3 days on and off jelly

Thanks honey Smile I'm sure I'll be fine - just feeling sorry for myself I guess.

I've told myself that because I have had hormones all over the place since coming off bc, I am not allowed to POAS until I have a symptom. This means - I'm not going to test on or just after af due date. I'm going to test 2 week later if it doesn't arrive.

Ha .... let's see if I can keep that up!

Anyway, enough about me... How is everybody else on this cold November evenin'?

gaggiagirl · 25/11/2014 21:07

Quick! Help! Got a positive opk here! When will the egg drop? There will be no jizz in me until 2pm tomorrow due to dps work. Will that be ok? Aaarrrggghhhh!

Leela5 · 25/11/2014 21:15

Did you have sex in last 2 days gaggia coz that counts too! Tomorrow should be fine.

jelly that witch can be evil but also it's entirely possible to have on off ib.

Gx for a bfp tomorrow candy!

Leela5 · 25/11/2014 21:16

Oh and ovulation can hurt like a bitch. I was doubled over with this one

Indigoblue2 · 25/11/2014 21:19

You could well ice tomorrow I reckon gaggia!

kezaroo · 25/11/2014 21:19

Hmm maybe this is ovulation then....

Cape at the ready......

Khbutterfly11 · 25/11/2014 22:12

lemon I vote for Margaret too :-D

Ainat266 · 25/11/2014 22:33

candy I have to admit I'm really struggling to see a line. I think I see it and then it sort of disappears! I really hope there is one. I'll have my gx for you!!!

I poas this morning. Both ovulation and pregnancy with full moon unicorn. both negative. no surprise there. cd86...

I am exhausted. will have to catch up properly tomorrow. And check back to see any update from candy of course. Grin

jellypi3 · 25/11/2014 23:11

ain I don't think ov sticks are meant to be FMU? Could be wrong tho.

Witch is really fucking me off. She's gone again!!! She came back for about 3 hours and now is gone!

I just want a full blown period or nothing ok???

Indigoblue2 · 25/11/2014 23:23

jelly what a big fat pain in the arse!

lildottie · 25/11/2014 23:28

kez I literally couldn't stand up with ov pain a few times. was unbearable. pressure on my ovaries making it hard to have sex is was an ov symptom for me.

jelly could be in, ob, AF or just random mid cycle bleed due to your hormones. if I were you I'd get the thermometer back out I case you haven't actually iced yet so you have some idea where you might be. fwiw I think its your hormones levelling out and you haven't iced yet but I'm not psychic so who knows!

ain cd86 yowsers. have you been to docs? and jelly is right the ic opks are not for fmu, but I think the cb dual hormone ones are so depends what you are using. keep shagging, you may ice yet!

Leela5 · 26/11/2014 07:15

POAS candy!

jellypi3 · 26/11/2014 07:18

Thanks lil I'll get the thermometer out tomorrow and try to do it properly this time

Jcandy · 26/11/2014 07:18

Oh guys I'm still none the wiser! Still think I can see something but don't know if I'm just fooling myself. Still no AF and temp still high though.

The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33
jellypi3 · 26/11/2014 07:24

Hmm that one is a tricky one JC!

Jcandy · 26/11/2014 07:36

Yeah I know looks negative right Sad
Still think I can see something in rl but if I can't get a photo of it unless it's a vampire bfp then it's probably not tgere

jellypi3 · 26/11/2014 07:43

I know this is going to be really difficult but I think you should wait a couple of days, maybe till Friday. Then you will hopefully be along far enough for the HCG to build up and show a nice strong BFP. You sound really down ( as much as emotions can be inferred through typing) and it can't be doing you any good.

Are you AF's normally on time each month?

Leela5 · 26/11/2014 07:51

Hcg can take a while to build up - it happened with chat. She was ages past af before it showed.

Until witch zooms in then you're not out, gx x

lildottie · 26/11/2014 08:17

JC I still think I see something but then it goes. I agree wait until the weekend and test again. hcg doubles every 48hours so wait at least 2 days, pref 4. gx

Pisghetti · 26/11/2014 08:27

JC I was another one that didn't get a BFP for ages. AF was due on the Friday, I got a squinter the following Wednesday and finally a BFP on Thursday. The BFNs were disheartening but as the witch hadn't showed I just knew I'd got lucky. After the Wednesday shadow DP wanted me to wait until the weekend. Like that was ever going to happen! He now believes he has naming rights as I peed on another stick Hmm

jellypi3 · 26/11/2014 08:38

Gx JC :)

Witch has pissed off again. We have a love hate relationship at the moment I feel.

If it's still messing be about by this weekend I might POAS to humour DP Wink

Jcandy · 26/11/2014 10:11

Thanks everyone Smile think I'm gonna try and wait till Friday at the earliest. Hopefully Saturday. If AF hasn't turned up then I'll test again.

mustbemad71 · 26/11/2014 10:36

Newbie here - you girls make me LOL - love the Fred! Have just joined and posted on Old Cluckers thread, 43 and TTC no. 3 with OH who has none of his own. Am definitely up for the JSing approach! I'm not very hopeful as now so ancient but nothing ventured nothing gained! Any other old birds on this Fred?! Smile