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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
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lildottie · 17/11/2014 08:22

lol la

indigo I wouldn't worry about line disappearing again as LH levels can fluctuate. definitely try doing them earlier, but I've had positives at 9/10pm before when I've forgotten to do them earlier in the day.

fill up da Fred!

lildottie · 17/11/2014 08:27

mountain how on earth did u forget ME on opening roll call! Shock Grin

la I think the idea was to update roll call in here then put on new thread as 1st post so it was easy to find but I agree it isn't working.

what crap can we fill these last posts with?

ChatEnOeuf · 17/11/2014 08:31

No! After offering to stab you as well!!

lildottie · 17/11/2014 08:37

exactly chat!

ChatEnOeuf · 17/11/2014 08:38

Excellent song, La, I'll be humming that all day.

In local news, there's been a power cut and now the burglar alarm keeps beeping at me. It's been going since 6:30, and I'm getting a headache! The power came back on half an hour ago, so my sole solution to the problem did not work Angry

lildottie · 17/11/2014 08:42

chat I have to put code in and press clear on mine. I can do it even while elected still off to stop it

lildottie · 17/11/2014 08:42

electric not elected!

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 08:43

Have you got one of those fobs which deactivates it Chat? Or try sticking the code in?

ChatEnOeuf · 17/11/2014 08:45

Yep, tried that, no joy. Google translate says the instructions tell me to do that too. It's due a service, the dude is meant to be coming next week. Wonder if that's something to do with it. If so, he's coming today!

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 08:48

Filling the fred

jellypi3 · 17/11/2014 08:48

lalalalala

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 08:57

Chat that would put years on me.

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 09:09

Good grief viroids! I have a night off MN glittering social life, you see to come back hours later and find we have a new home! Looks like you chose a good one though. I like the gull wallpaper and the fact there's a sporn channel on the tv.

DulcetMoans · 17/11/2014 09:18

Are there gulls on the new thread?! Come on, lets get this filled so I can see it!

Been at work 45mins, achieved very little in that time. Not even started my to do list. My heart isn't in it!

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:29

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:30

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:30

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:30

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:30

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LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 09:30

I work from home, and today have decided I'm working from bed, so totally understand about achieving very little!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:30

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:31

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:31

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Leela5 · 17/11/2014 09:31

Bumsex

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