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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
lildottie · 16/11/2014 21:13

1.6l of water today. woop woop!!

lildottie · 16/11/2014 21:14

gaggia I bet its no kitten?

mountain are you starting new thread?

gaggiagirl · 16/11/2014 21:24

I wish I needed to put my bum in the air but I've been turned down again. He's tired again. I've only had 8 shags in the last 29 days. This really isn't good enough. I'm frustrated now.

jellypi3 · 16/11/2014 21:47

:( hugs gaggia men are such knobs sometimes!!! Wait till he gets a dry spell cos your upduffed. He will be crying for it then!!

jellypi3 · 16/11/2014 21:47

Do we have a new Fred??

DulcetMoans · 16/11/2014 21:50

My recommendations are Horace the Hawk or Horatio the Hawk gaggia.

Is it bedtime yet?!

OP posts:
Ainat266 · 16/11/2014 21:54

well done on your water intake lil

gaggia we dtd tonight but dh has been 'too tired' a lot it seems lately. that combined with my foul mood lately means we haven't dtd much at all lately.. :-(

nearly new Fred time.

Ainat266 · 16/11/2014 21:56

dulcet its bed time for me. lying in bedwatching a movie. is it too early to be watching nativity?

I've also got a hot chocolate and a piece of the best fudge in the world.

lildottie · 16/11/2014 22:10

can I suggest sporn needs to go in Fred title whoever does it.

honeysucklejasmine · 16/11/2014 22:13

So its official. Bil has knocked up his girlfriend. No definite news on due date but might be after ours was. Sad

On the plus side, had nachos and watched Pitch Perfect.

gaggiagirl · 16/11/2014 22:16

dulcet horatio is good!
I don't have a pc but I could do it tomorrow at 9ish once I get to work, the Fred that is. Or I can start a new one without the links in the opening post, I could do that tonight.

Indigoblue2 · 16/11/2014 23:09

Going to catch up properly tomorrow, have had a quick read through from last few days.

Need a bit of help! Having a bit of an OPK nightmare. I'm CD12. Did my first OPKs last week and had a very faint line on cd7, cd8 and cd9. Very faint. Then no line at all on cd10. Have just done an OPK today (cd12) - again no line whatsoever. Shouldn't the lines be getting stronger? honey these are the same ones you had. Even the control line isn't that dark. Pretty sure I haven't iced already. Cycles usually 28 days but last month was 31. Do you think they are dud?

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:11

OK just got home, new Fred in progress.. Any requests other than sporn?

honeysucklejasmine · 16/11/2014 23:16

Indigo even though the control line was pale I still got a second line that was as dark as it eventually. Mostly got only one line though. I have 27 day cycles and iced on cd10/11.

Indigoblue2 · 16/11/2014 23:19

Right ok. So what the hell is going on with going from a pale line to nothing then?! Surely I haven't already iced, had no other signs and the lines that I did get last week were so pale it needed the full ten minutes and still were squinters..

Indigoblue2 · 16/11/2014 23:23

honey is 10.30pm too late to do them, does it start to recede again?

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:23

new fred is HERE

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33

I've copied and pasted the first of this fred for names but I know I've missed a few newbies/kittens so get adding yourselves :)

honeysucklejasmine · 17/11/2014 00:12

Mine say 2-8pm. Try to do same time every night. Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 17/11/2014 00:12

Thanks mountain!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:43

Thanks mountain, let's get filling!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:43

Fill the Fred, fill the Fred!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:43

La la la la la la!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:44

Fill the Fred!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:44

Get your cape on

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 06:44

Get your cape on