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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
kezaroo · 15/11/2014 19:24

Frer = first response?

excuse the thickness but what is full moon unicorn?!

kezaroo · 15/11/2014 19:26

khbutterfly sorry, missed your response as I didn't realise it went onto the next page.

Only a day after me then? I had to come off my previous one (microgynon) due to high blood pressure and they didn't really give me much option to go onto cerazette (no idea why).

Khbutterfly11 · 15/11/2014 19:30

There doesn't seem to be many options for bcp's for high bp/ age/ clot risks etc :-/
full moon unicorn = fmu = first morning urine :-) you'll soon get used to the js-isms lol x

Leela5 · 15/11/2014 19:43

First response early result
Full morning urine

:)

Leela5 · 15/11/2014 19:44

*first - doh!

kezaroo · 15/11/2014 19:53

Ahhh! Why didn't I guess?! I did wonder what unicorns had to do with poas.

Well I will poas in the morning and if it is a bfn then I will just presume what I have had is af and get JS!

lildottie · 15/11/2014 20:23

unicorn was our mascot before zing became our mascot.

mountaingirl01 · 15/11/2014 20:46

Welcome kez !

tink all power to you I think after 6 years I would have been a pool of frustration and bitterness. You are allowed to blow out (as are you lil I did spectactually when my dsis got upduffed, I was so happy for her but so angry with the world). It sounds like your cycles are finally coming together tink? Have you just started contrabanding and realised when you ice etc? I had went on clomid for a bit and despite stopping it 3months before bfp I do think it made a difference in helping me to ice (I haven't had a period in 10 years and didn't even when I knew I was icing) I also had a tube wash out. The advances that have been made in the last 6 years are incredible and so long as Mr Tink's swimmers are OK ivf may not be the only answer for you Flowers
lil I wish I lived closer to you, I would be your personal stabber (sounds perhaps dodgier than it should)

lildottie · 15/11/2014 21:19

um thanks mountain I think wracking my brains for reasons you may want to stab me now though Hmm

TinkerBlue · 15/11/2014 21:21

Hi mountain thank you Smile
Yes my cycle has really made progress over the last few years! I have always had periods, just not ovulated. These days I have regular periods and seem to ovulate every cycle. Even this one which I had a real panic about I'm now on day 2 of high temps so can confirm icing in another day or 2 (yay)!
I refused clomid as I had lots of small cysts on my ovaries, they suggested that clomid may exacerbate this problem, rather than correct it. And with low reserves I really need proper egg production, rather than lots of little half baked ones that form cysts. Does that make sense?
Mr. Tinks swimmers are ok. Not great but ok, although he had a letter to call and make his next sa appointment ages ago and I can't make him make the call. Grr.
I have so many small issues that seem to contribute that fixing the big one, which was anovulatory cycles, I seem to have overlooked! I have only used opks intermittently before now, and never tempted before this summer! But as I say, I ice now (I think) so progress has definitely been made! Smile

lildottie · 15/11/2014 21:23

tink do u mind if I ask what Mr tinks sa results were?

TinkerBlue · 15/11/2014 21:26

lil I don't mind at all but it's been ages and I don't know numbers. I know all was ok except for morphology (or maybe motility Blush). Which was borderline, nothing bad, just on the edge. All else was ok.
I know he produces tonnes of the little fuckers if that helps!

lildottie · 15/11/2014 21:31

lmao. well fwiw if morphology is an issue iui usually can be tried first if motility is OK. if motility is an issue its ivf. we have issues with both so they have recommended ivf with icsi. so if iui can be done its not as scary as ivf.

mountaingirl01 · 15/11/2014 22:23

With the needles lil !!

lildottie · 15/11/2014 22:41

lol mountain I got that, you just seemed quite keen to do the stabbing Grin

jellypi3 · 16/11/2014 01:14

Hi Kez welcome :)

lil you POAS yet???

I've eaten far too much junk today. Gonna go barf I think!

Leela5 · 16/11/2014 03:24

I think it was due to the unicorn chat that when I didn't know what FMU was (when I first joined) then I guessed full moon unicorn

kezaroo · 16/11/2014 07:36

Well poas this morning - bfn

I'm okay though - serious shagfest coming up! Now to work out when I am going to ov. ...

How are we all today?

ChatEnOeuf · 16/11/2014 08:13

Ha, Lil, I think most docs just like playing with needles, sure Mountain doesn't really want to stab you Grin

Sorry you wasted a peestick Kez (and welcome to the madhouse btw!). This lot are obsessed me included and any given day will make someone POAS Wink At least you know where you are. My cycles were mad for about three months longer, it was three cycles before settling down after coming off the pill.

Tink feel free to melt down here with us. I have no idea how you're still able to string a sentence together after so long ttc. Fully entitled to rant once in a while Thanks.

honeysucklejasmine · 16/11/2014 08:17

Morning viroids!

Sorry about BFN Kez, but you are right... Shag fest time!

What is PMA? I can't think of anything.

I invoked LOS last night and drank a few glasses of white zinfandel. Gx!

DulcetMoans · 16/11/2014 08:17

Sorry to hear that kez, but glad you aren't too down about it.

tink, have you been to a FC? Ours does open evenings which are free and you can look at all the equipment and discuss the options. If yours does that you could consider it? Not as formal as docs but can get the info you need. IUI would be much less intrusive than IVF if it was suitable. You might not need to go the whole way. It's scary but sometimes just knowing can help.

Morning to although, happy Sunday! I'm laying in a strange bed wondering if I can get up. Sounds like everyone else is still asleep... Can I potter around someone else's house??

OP posts:
DulcetMoans · 16/11/2014 08:32

Positive mental attitude normally honey. Don't think we have our own one for that. Where have you read that?!

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 16/11/2014 08:58

Morning viroids!!!!! Got the cape on good and proper last night. Mr Jelly is quite amusing at the moment, I think he's more serious about baby making than me!

Weirdly I felt like I was going to throw up after DTD though. Got the be all the sugar I consumed yesterday haha!!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 16/11/2014 09:02

Well well, Mr Lemon just donned his cape good and proper! I woke up to being shagged! It was very nice actually Grin

I thought PMA was positive mental attitude too, FWIW.

What is everyone up to today?

kezaroo · 16/11/2014 09:14

Luck you, lemon

I've decided I am staying in my onesie all day, watch some dvds until DO comes home then off to the cinema (at DHs request)

Can I ask; has anybody had to stop smoking or trying to stop while ttc? I am trying but I am finding it really hard (stressful job) DH doesn't know I am still smoking (I only have about 6 a day at work). He would go ape shit if he found out.