Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

not too late if it was today kh egg lives for 24hrs. I ice day after pos opks

does it dulcet, sound good I mean? I'm trying to rack my brains to decide if I've had this before. I've had creamy cm some cycles but not ewcm. grrr so frustrating. I just need to knock it out of my head. I'm now imagining ov type pains if I don't quash the hope I'll just fall that much further next weekend. have to confess I'm slightly scared of it happening now and ending with a mc and having to wait another 6months for ivf. stupid I know.

lemon when we started ttc I told a few "good" friends. turned out they weren't all good friends for other reasons but I'm glad I told someone. my bff knows and is now ttc herself, my bro and sil know and know we're waiting for ivf as does my mum. only my mum knows when we are having the ivf though. I'd say maybe hold off telling people until you've been trying a while (hopefully you wont get to a while) when you will be able to think more clearly and not be clouded by the excitement. I certainly wish I hadn't told so many people.

No no Nessa, you're thinking wrong. You'll have a baby next week, don't waste your time thinking about how! We've been doing it for many thousands of years!

Welcome Spuffy! Do you live in Sunnydale?! I thought it was swallowed by the hell mouth? [nerd]

wow ainat amazing gp! keep.that one around! what bloods are they doing?

AF will come back, you just have to be patient. my longest cycle was 76days after bcp.

hi spuffy not much changed in the 2 years I've been at it. I'm sure it'll be like riding a bike

Oh, lemon we aren't really telling anyone. A couple of my close friends know, but no one else. I at least want to be back having regular cycles and things before telling anyone, though I think I'm going to try and keep it quiet for as long as possible. I can't bear the thought of being questioned about it all the time...

hhhmmmm might wake him up after all then, sex is the only thing I'd dare wake him up for, plus it guarantees a quick finish cos he's half asleep haha!!

Good point! Positive mental attitude!!

lil I know! I had such a great experience with this doctors surgery. I moved house in March, but never bothered to change my doctors until recently. My old doctors was awful. at least 2 weeks to get an appointment. Emergency appointments were hard to come by. I hated going there. I even hated speaking to the receptionists. They always seemed in a bad mood and were rude.

This one though, so far, seems amazing. Touch wood. I called them on Wednesday to ask for an appointment. The receptionist was friendly - 10 points. I actually told her that I didn't need an emergency appointment, I needed to speak to a doctor for some advice. I also said that I specifically needed a late appointment because of work. She gave me an appointment for that same evening - 100 points! Actually go to my appointment - they're running late, but by less than 10 minutes. Doctor was friendly, actually listened and spoke to me like I was a human, and offered me bloods. If they keep this up I'll never move house again so I can stay registered with them!

I have to say my gp has been fab. I've had to push a little but she has always seemed willing to do whatever she can within the restraints of the red tape. and getting appointments isnt too vad but you have to rung in the day befire 8.30. that annoys me. definitely get a map of the area they civervif you ever want to move again!

To be fair I'm not planning on moving house for a while yet anyway. We've bought this house (previously we rented). I do not feel like going through that again any time soon! Just gotta hope that this doctors lives up to my now high expectations!

DH is snoring pretty loudly tonight. I'm tempted to go and sleep in the spare room (hopefully future DCs room). Apart from I love my duvet. It's so much better than the spare room duvet. I don't even know why!

Lemon I told everyone I'd want to help me in the event of miscarriage. Because I talked about miscarriage quite openly a few more people know. I'm fine with that. We have a 2+ year TTC couple in our group so people know better than to ask.

My first doctors were shit. Told me to take a paracetomol for my period and to "come back when it hurts" for my lupus.

The first time I went to my new doctors he referred me to a gynaecologist immediately.

Isn't it amazing how you can be so unlucky/lucky when it comes to going to the doctor.

I appreciate that we have the NHS in the UK. As much as people complain about it it is a far better system than many other countries. And I am very appreciative of the doctors/nurses that work really hard. Now we just need all the NHS trusts, etc. to be on the same page and not restricted in different ways depending on what surgery/postcode/whatever.

do not get me started on the fact I only get one ivf cycle funded where I am whilst other people get 3. it both angers stresses abd depresses me in equal measures!

Why can't the government balance the books? Why are some areas more 'lucky' than others? I don't understand it. :(

If some areas do 1 funded cycle of IVF and some do 3 why don't they just agree all areas can have 2? I'm sure it's not that simple, and I definitely don't claim to know anything about politics and budgets, but different things for different parts of the country when we all pay the same taxes is just outright unfair.

really lil? that's quite shocking!!! I'm quite naive about things like that, and I don't know where it came from but had it in my head that everyone got 2 goes funded. maybe that's my area or maybe my brain made it up!
that's made me quite angry that it can be so differant! so sod knows how you feel!!!

waves and wishes everyone luck

You people have moved house!

Tink
Age: 33
Ttc: ages
Dc: none!

I am never drinking again! I came "off the wagon" 2 weeks ago and have majorly failed!! Ffs! Icing this week, need to be a good girl!

Excellent Fred title dulcet!

Hi la not just me up late then! Hope you're doing ok and its all sinking in/feeling a bit more real now?

I'm still up too :-/ tink don't beat yourself up! you're on the twpu!!

Thanks kh the wine has given me energy though, not good for tired viroids that need the energy for babymaking!! Dh has passed out after a resounding "no" to my shag offer! nobhead

oh dear! lol, a situation I'm all too familiar with!! x

Just finished work so heading to bed :) will catch up in morning x

You work too hard La.

Marking place, Gx for a lucky thread, especially for Lil and your EWCM.