Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 08/11/2014 21:32

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
lildottie · 09/11/2014 10:39

thanks guys. I guess I'm just grateful dh and I have been strong enough to get through the last 2 years together. I know it breaks some couples.

la glad some symptoms have reappeared!

I should get out of bed. I'm starving!

lildottie · 09/11/2014 10:41

love that the grads are comparing parking costs! good to see the rock n roll doesn't stop when the jsers move on!

Nessalina · 09/11/2014 10:43

Oi! Wink it's true. We're all old and pathetic.

Leela5 · 09/11/2014 10:45

Yes that made me laugh too! Sod that ness is about to push a baby out of her foof, let's compare parking costs!

Nessalina · 09/11/2014 10:55

This is the sort of crap you worry about when labour is imminent! Grin
Mine seems to have slacked off at the minute... Lazy uterus!

ZylaB · 09/11/2014 11:04

Lol! :)

ZylaB · 09/11/2014 11:05

Aww ness the lol was a cross post, not aimed at you! It was a gentle warm up and will kick in properly soon (hopefully!)

RPopz · 09/11/2014 11:06

Haha, this is what you have to look forward to ladies!

gaggiagirl · 09/11/2014 11:08

Ness puuuuuuuuush!

Pisghetti · 09/11/2014 11:27

Those long winter nights fly by for the grads! We aren't JSing as much so we need to find something to talk about...

Minion · 09/11/2014 11:32

Oh yeah, it's dead wild over there. It's all raspberry leaf tea and hospitals parking policies.
Wait till we start talking mucus plugs, it's debauchery central ha x

lildottie · 09/11/2014 12:57

think we'll leave you to that for now min Wink

Minion · 09/11/2014 13:08

Jsing ia far more fun.

wilmabedrock · 09/11/2014 14:02

Oi you lot, watch it! Parking is the new car shagging...

lildottie · 09/11/2014 15:22

ha ur all just jealous we still get to shag like something Grin

ZylaB · 09/11/2014 15:41

Hey! I had a shag last night!! might only be the third time in 23 weeks but that's not the point hehe

Leela5 · 09/11/2014 16:02

Mucus plugs.
Raspberry leaf tea.
Parking costs.

We know how to live!

I'm currently sitting on floor outside primark, while Mr La shops. I am knackered. Even just walking upstairs makes me knackered!

The good news is my boobs feel like two big heavy boulders attached to me by skin. Woohoo!

honeysucklejasmine · 09/11/2014 16:03

Oh my gosh. I had to lay a wreath at the town remembrance service. I'm kinda a big deal Never been so scared in my life. Confused

honeysucklejasmine · 09/11/2014 16:04

Wooo La! You are upduffed!

I'm getting fanjo twinges today. Hmm.

batfish · 09/11/2014 17:17

Must become more dedicated, you must hardly remember me between posts! I don't come on for a day or two and I've missed a million pages!

I think you're all making me worry already even though I'm only entering cycle 2! But kind of cycle 1 as first cycle wasn't really trying. Don't mean that in a bad way, just with hearing all the things that can be not working properly and how difficult it is to get upduffed I'm now worrying that AF was weird! Much much lighter than usual - sorry in advance for TMI - usually (when on pill) 5 days of tampon but this time only really heavy enough for a tampon for less than 2 days and then had 3 days of really little bit of brown stuff (I'm even grossing myself out now....) - hopefully just cos first proper period after the pill - must not start over analysing everything right at the bloody beginning or the next however many months/years before I get a BFP are going to be very neurotic!!

Will focus on becoming best shagger instead :-)

Hope you're OK La, surely all these positive JS vibes are getting through to your little bean!

Leela5 · 09/11/2014 18:15

honey what an honour! Smile

bat the beauty of this Fred is you can hop on and off just like with your dhs awesome penis whenever it suits. We'll always remember you!

Don't be scared. It's natural when there's a large group of women ttc for there to be a few people with some of the problems that can happen ttc. Plenty of viroids come on here and get upduffed with no problems, lots of people join, get upduffed then we don't hear from them again and we are obviously delighted for them.

Everyone's different and you could easily be one of the ones who find it easy Grin. Gx that that's the case

Whatever happens we are here to vent to, moan to or talk to if you need it. These girls are amazing and will see you through

Jcandy · 09/11/2014 18:26

Ok guys so last month my dp and I put in a very poor performance of only dtd 4 times in the whole cycle! Tonight I'm hoping we can make it 4th time so far this cycle, I'm on cd14 but haven't a clue when I'm going to ice contraband is being very unhelpful I'm aiming for 8 times this month which will be loads for us! We're a once a month type couple normally Confused

gaggiagirl · 09/11/2014 18:29

I just SCREAMED at dp Blush. Because of the stupid CuntHawk that he wants Sad I don't know what came over me but I'm so angry that he wants to get one.
He wanted one before I was pregnant then wasn't interested in owning one once I was pregnant.
Now I'm no longer preg I've heard nothing but hawk this hawk that.
I'm so irrationally angry about it I can't put it into words so I screamed til he shut up and I sent him to his mams.
God I'm such a duck.

gaggiagirl · 09/11/2014 18:31

Jcandy 8 times a month is good, or concentrate those 8 shags to around your ov Times once you have worked out when that will be.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/11/2014 18:32

Sounds justified to me gaggia!