TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Have now ordered room service (Club Sandwich in case you are interested) and downloaded House of Cards episode 1, and the free wifi is that shit I thought it would take until Christmas.

Sorry am spouting stuff completely unrelated to TTC

Hello to the newbies waves so sorry you're finding yourself here I hope your stay here is short and you get your BFPs soon

I've also heard a lot of stories of being more fertile after mc.. Amd have had two close friends who have mc and conceived within 1 - 3 cycles after their mc so it can happen but I think everyone is different and there's just no point comparing yourself to others.

Does anyone here know how long an LH surge lasts? Using those cheapie sticks and got a strong positive yesterday afternoon then this evening got an insanely strong test line.. so does it mean I haven't ovulated yet or I have?! Confused!

I know the feeling Amy. This whole experience has triggered my anxiety and I get sick every time before I go back to the hospital. I'm tired of being poked and prodded.

I'll let you know how it goes. Amy hun I do think it sounds like it's very nearly zero xxx

Oh I bet you are :( yeah let me know hun. Me too! I think by Thursday it should be a bfn. I'm so impatient though lol no doubt I will test again tomorrow! Xx

The hospital told me to test on the 24th which will be about 3.5 weeks since miscarriage, it didn't occur to me to test before! I don't think i will, it'l just drive me mad if its a BFP. This also means i don't know how fast my levels dropped and i've a feeling i ovulated last Friday and we DTD. If so, then the test on the 24th could show an early positive. Maybe i should test! Obviously getting ahead of myself, the chances of me being pregnant again are slim to none :(

How are you doing chasing? I've been thinking of you. Sorry to see there's some new ladies to the thread. fifi i'm in my wtf cycle too, we started DTD last Wednesday (13 days post mc) just incase i ovulated 2 weeks after as normal (clinging to hope!).

Haribo I know my mc was much earlier but I tested negative within days so it might be worth it in case you wonder later on. Every body is different though so I guess it's a tough one.

Waves to Fififolle, sorry you are having a tough time, am keeping everything crossed that you get your bfp soon.

Thank you Purple good to see you. Fx for a BFP- you're my inspiration on this rocky road x

*Haribo it's so frustrating and the only time that you want a BFN!
I think that as my MC was so spread out, it's taken a while for hormones to normalise. I thought that I'd ovulated but AF has arrived :-( but on the bright side, it'll make it easier to date the next cycle.

Envious. - hey honey. I am sorry you are here. May I ask how far along you are? How are you physically/emotionally? Big hugs.

In the first few days following my mc, I felt guilty for not being more upset and thinking about getting pregnant again.

However it hit me like a train two weeks later, googling.. I notice this is very common. I'm not saying this will be you too.. but just be kind to yourself and don't be surprised if it does. Equally everyone feels massively different and there's no right way. As for your dh. Just keep the lines of communication open. You don't have to understand or try to guess or make sense of his feelings. Just be open with each other. Be as nice as possible to each other. Affection and kindness and just space to openly feel whatever you're emotions are is all I think any couple can do. I don't think I did this. DH blurted out that "no one asks about how I feel. It's all a out you.. everyone asks after you!" And I was a bit cos he was right.

Anyway. Hope you're ok x

So sorry to hear what you're going through enviousllama.
Have you decided on what management you're having?
I'd just spend the next few days trying do do as little as possibly, watching rubbish daytime TV. It really is a horrible time for you and DP. There are lots of emotional ups and downs but the first hit is really tough.
I'd think that your DP is very upset about your MC but also very concerned about you. Men do seem to go quiet when dealing with tough emotional times whereas ladies tend to talk about things a lot more. I don't think there's anything that you can say really to make things seem better, just spending time together and lots of cuddles will help.
You'll find fantastic support on here, I certainly did. If you want to ask about anything at all, please do and feel free to PM me at any time.
Take care xx

Sorry to see you hear envious, i'm so sorry it happened to you too. Have you just found out? I'd probably give him a bit of space to think on it and try and talk to him when he seems more open to it. It's really difficult because you're wrapped up in your own sorrow but it really helps to lean on each other and talk it through. I hope he wants to talk again soon xx

purple i think i'll pick up a cheap test tomorrow just to see. It's been 19 days since the mmc and 9 days since i stopped bleeding so hopefully it's a BFN, will let you know. How are you feeling/doing? Dared to tell your GP for a booking in appointment yet? I can see me delaying it next time round.

fifi sorry AF arrived but hopefully it'l make things easier to track this month.

Oh envious, so sorry to hear what you're going through.
I agree with chasing, when my mc happened, i was numb to the emotional side and really dealing with the physical. DH was very withdrawn and upset however when I was ready to be upset he seemed to have made peace with it.

So sorry to hear your news Envious, be kind to yourself and give yourself time, it must have been such a shock.

Haribo thanks for asking, I am doing ok except for the constant fear. I have some nausea but not as much as with dd which is making me a bit nervous. I waited until I reached the same point as my mc before calling the doctor and couldn't get an appointment at all. Luckily I was able to skip that stage and am scheduled for a booking in appointment but that taught me

envious so sorry to hear your news :( I hope a long walk helps, I did find making some time for myself to order my thoughts really helpful afterwards and made me more able to be supportive to DH. He was a bit silent and distant afterwards but as others have said, lots of cuddles really do help! You will get through this and I'm so glad to hear you have a DS to help you through :) were all here for you too!

Just got my BFN and thought I would at least feel some relief :( maybe I've woke up on the wrong side of bed today but feel like it's all hit me like a tonne of bricks :( If I'm totally honest even after all I've gone through I know there was a tiny part of me hoping they had been wrong and I hadn't lost the baby (silly I know) but this is concrete evidence. Need to pick myself up and remember this is the fresh start I wanted... Time to try again!

Haribo I was told 2 weeks until testing but it's been 3 weeks for mine. It's a hard choice, I became like a lady possessed poas every day! However your levels may have already dropped.

envious sooo sorry for your loss :( everybody deals with grief differently, the only advice I can give is to let one another know you are there for each other, whether it's in words, a cuddle or even just to hold hands. Mc can feel like such a lonely time and the support in here is fantastic, but you both need each other in RL too for the times we can't give you a hug!

Purple hope you're well and having an extremely boring pregnancy!! :)

X

Hi Envious welcome and I'm so so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. As everyone else said just take time for each other, cuddles and rest. It will hit you at some point - it did with me.

Amy I know a BFN will be upsetting but think of it as a new start. You can pick yourself up and focus on what comes next and you can't do that until you had your bfn.

I've had 2 mc's this year and am now anxiously waiting to do a test this weekend so you do get there.

But I know it feels horrible and it's like you've experienced a loss all over again. Hugs xx

Envious - so sorry to see you on here too. I hope your walk did you good and managed to clear you head a bit x

Thanks Brummie you're right, any positive from now on will be a new baby, so time to get excited to start TTC!
Ooo fx for the weekend! Let us know ASAP :) xx

Amy ((hugs)) a bfn is a double edged sword. It means you can start again, but it's also a cold reminder that it's over. . It's hard not to just have a tiny bit of hope. I remember the crushing feeling of the empty womb scan when the dr suggested maybe I hadn't mc at all. I'd allowed that hope to seep in and I was devastated even though my logical brain knew it was so very unlikely. I hope you are holding up ok. Xxx

Early hrs of this morning the pain has been bad. Still very delicate and the sporadic contraction like pains are hard. Was better prepared for it this time. Last week they didn't last long but the intensity hit me hard. I've been using hypnobirthing techniques to see me through them. Bit hard as when I do my brain starts using the affirmations from my daughters birth, but there is no baby coming to me. Hopefully it'll all stop soon. And a sign that the methotrexate has worked.

Thanks Chasing, it is very bitter-sweet but its that first step in the right direction so keeping my chin up! If this cycle is to be normal my af should be due next week so looking forward to getting that out the way with so we can start trying.

Aww gosh feel awful for you :( Fx they do stop soon xxx

envious so sorry that your finding yourself here. Lots of the ladies have said it already but just be kind to yourself and give it time. I found my DH and I had our best chat about it when we left our daughter with the grandparents and sat in with a bottle of wine and the TV off.
Don't be surprised if you find your emotions sneaking up on you, I've previously been a very stable person but I'm still getting knocked sideways by seemingly unrelated things

ammy happy and sad for you, Hope this allows you to look forward.

I'm now 6dpo and driving myself crazy. I was feeling a bit fluey yesterday so went googling - stupid I know - to see if it could be an early symptom.
Of course it gets mentioned as an early symptom. Stubbed toes get mentioned as early symptoms by those of us that are so desperate to look for any little signs.

I've given all the tests to DH to hid and I'm not going to POAS till AF is due on the 26th....it's going to a lomg long week

North Thank you so much. I'm feeling a lot more optimistic now than this morning (time and coffee definitely helps!)

Fx for a BFP for you! And anyone else due for testing! :) x