TTC after MC - the best shit place to be!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Welcome Katie, sorry for what you've been through

I had a major baby bomb at work today... I would've been 12 weeks today and was trying to not think about it then a work colleague announced today that she's 12 weeks pregnant and I then had to listen to her go on for an hour about how she didn't find out until 6 weeks but got really drunk at 5 weeks because she didn't know she was pregnant and wasn't even trying! She didn't know about my miscarriage so I had to sit and smile and nod and then run away and cry life is shit sometimes.

Bring on a BFP this month!

Welcome KatieV130. It's sad that you have to be here, but like the others have said it's a great place for support.

daisysunshine2 - oh it's shit when people weren't even trying. And to get pissed and for her baby to ok and yours not too be It really goes to show that 99% of it is just down to luck.

Well after booking yesterday off to avoid seeing my old boss visiting work with her baby - it appears she never actually showed up. Brilliant! When I was asked if I enjoyed my day off I made up some shit about waiting in for a delivery.

I've looked back at period tracker for the month I got pregnant. I recorded sore boobs, slight nausea and slight cramps from cycle day 22. I'm cycle day 24 now and nothing. In fact I feel very well today and am gutted about it!

I still have creamy CM (TMI) and I thought it was supposed to dry up after OV so I did an OPK when I got home from work which was negative. I've had a temp spike, so of course it was going to be negative. I don't know what I'm playing at really. I've bloody lost it!

Thanks everyone x
I need to read back properly.
Having a wallow in chocolate, wish I could have wine!!! :p

Oh Treacle, only just realised about AF...so sorry lovely. Why can't you drink though?

greysar I LOVE your idea of seeing the counsellor as a real person bit more as a void. Poor, poor person. Some days I think MY job is hard, but boy would I not want theirs: far too much of an emo sponge here! I'm starting to see the grief counsellor at the fetal med unit week after next and as lovely as she sounds, I will keep your advice in mind and see her as 'the void'.

It's half term already. Unbelievable!! 8 weeks have gone by since summer. I totally made a deal with the universe that we had let baby G go but that I would be pg again come September (TFMR was mid July) and was heart broken that I wasn't. Now it's 8 weeks on and I am just beginning to 'get' all the ramifications of my grief, my husband's grief, our grief as a couple... There was no way I was actually ready to be pg again so soon after. Nature really does work in very mysterious ways... Tonight, I'm enjoying being able to polish off a rather enormous glass of red and trying to be at peace with where we are at right now...

Anyone POAS tomorrow? I'm only on opks at the moment, not quite so exciting!

Thanks mademoiselle, fed up of it now :(

I'm doing sober for october to raise money for Macmillan.
I know what you mean about setting time frames. I've done it a lot since the mc.
I really doubt I'll be pregnant by my due date now... If I am ill just be worried ill miscarry. I considered having time off ttc but I just can't bear it.

Ok cheerier mood (for now). Have decided to throw myself into weight loss and work.
Found a lovely topic for my nursery children for autumn 2 so quite excited to plan it all out tomorrow :)
I was tempted to leave this job the other day due to senior management trying to change how we run nursery but I'm going to dig my heels in and do what I know works.

Hello ladies.

Just trying to catch up after not checking in for a couple of days.

Welcome to all new ladies. Sorry AF got your treacle

I'm now on CD38 with no sign of AF. I did a HPT yesterday though and got BFN

I had some strong cramping yesterday and the day before. I was sure AF was on her way but nothing.

No idea what's going on.

When I found out I was pregnant on 1st August I was on CD42 when I got the BFP, but then I hadn't been checking beforehand as wasn't expecting it.

I'm in the WTF cycle and I've been taking my cycle days from the date I had my first ERPC. Does anyone know if this is correct? I had a second ERPC exactly a week after my first one. Should I be using this date instead?? That would make me CD31...

Would appreciate your help ladies!

Oh daisy, baby bombs are awful. Partic when it's a casually planned/not planned at all baby Hope you're bearing up.

Welcome katie. Hope you get your bfp soon. So sorry for your loss

mlle, there's not much that wine can't cure hope you enjoyed.

Glad you're feeling cheerier this morning treacle. I have made a pact with myself that if I don't get knocked up in November, I will do cambridge or boossh again to drop a stone before the new year and then start ttc again in February (do not want to run the risk of falling pg and then having the same sept due date/thereabouts of the baby we lost). Only problem with that is that I would not want to have a Christmas baby (I am one, it's not great), so that rules out ttc in march as well! Hmmm. Guess I'll either be slim or knocked up by March, lol!

Hi bluefreckles - my first AF came back 7wks post TFMR (I was 12wks) and 5wks post ERPC (I was 6/8wks). It think it really depends. For me it seemed, once all the pregnancy hormones had left system and I had a negative HPT, AF came back as normal (30-35 days) after that. Unfortunately, my best advice would be to just try and be patient and wait until she shows. I know it is so hard.

Good for you broody. I’ve put on a stone this year, I need to try and shed it too. I know what you mean about avoiding first EDD. If I get pregnant this cycle it will be exact same timings as first pregnancy. Not sure I can go through that again. Esp being pregnant and feeling sick at Christmas – last year it was all for nothing and I’ll have a complete meltdown if that happens again. I realise how shallow that sounds .

Well done treacle. Finding other things to focus on is so important, if hard. I was talking to DP about this just last night actually. This has without question been the shittest year of my life, but career-wise it has actually been a very good one, and none of that would have happened if the first pregnancy had worked out. If there are any silver linings I guess that could be called one.

daisy I am so sorry about your baby bomb. That sounds like a particularly bad one, so sorry. Would you consider telling her? She just might modify her behaviour if she knows what you have been through.

I tested again this morning, now 13 days late and another bfn. I just have to accept that my body is messed up, I have no clue what is going on. This has never happened before and I feel like someone is playing a cruel cruel trick on me and

Sorry for the me me me post x

Foxtrot I wonder if you are going to miss this period and get your next for some reason. I don't know your history (wish we could put sigs on here so we didn't have to ask all the time). Have you had long cycles before?

My first paragraph made no sense! I mean miss the period you should have had yet get your next when you would expect it (assuming your last had come on time) hope that made sense!! It would be worth keeping an eye out for EWCM or opk testing when you would have expected your fertile window to be (again assuming you had had your last AF when she was expected).

new era never had long cycles before. Prior to mc they were 27/28 days. Post mc they have been 35(wtf) 27 and 29. Think it is cd42/43 now. Should be my fertile time around now, away on holiday and have no opks. Can you just miss a cycle? My last cycle was really really light and I had spotting around cd12/13 this time. When AF was due I had all the symptoms, cramping etc and fully expected it to arrive but nothing. The last 2 cycles I have used CBFM, I didn't get a peak this cycle but from studying the sticks ovulation could have been around cd16 but maybe I just didn't ovulate. Could this be why AF hasn't arrived?

foxtrot if you didn't ov then yes, that's probably why your period is late. It might be that your body tried to ov and didn't quite get there, and you will ov in a few days/weeks instead. This has happened to me twice when I was really stressed about ttc ironically, and I know how frustrating it is. I'd second newera's suggestion to keep checking for fertile signs.

Anovulatory cycles can end up being longer than usual that's true. When I was breast feeding I can remember my cycles being all over the place and it's only now that I realise I wasn't ovulating.

You can just miss your period yes. It's happened to me before when I stopped eating properly and my body just stopped menstruating for a cycle or two. Directly I started eating well again they came back.

Last thought is it can be a peri- menopause sign. I have no idea how old you are but your cycles can get shorter as you wander into PM (my situation) or they can become much longer.

Hopefully it's a blip or even better you are one of the people I read about online who never really get a BFP but find out through a blood test that they are indeed pregnant and like 12 weeks or something!

If you can wait it might be worth waiting until you miss two periods and if you do then take yourself to the GP who I'm sure would do a blood test to rule pregnancy out, and can prescribe something to bring AF on and 'reset' things.

So sorry you have all this worry xx. AF is a bitch when she arrives and a total bitch when she doesn't for seemingly no good reason!!!

Morning all. Loving the weight loss plan Broody and Treacle. Monten and Treacle - I'm also one who has found throwing myself into my work this year to be a huge distraction from ttc/mc woes. It's also nice to feel that there is a big part of my life that I can control, in contrast to ttc which I have found to be cruel and unpredictable.

I'm finding all the talk of planning TTC around due dates fascinating. When we first embarked on this ttc journey, I was completely against a late Summer baby (mainly as I didn't want them to be their youngest in their class), however, now that I'm less fertile than I was (having had one of my Fallopian tubes removed) I feel that if my body is going to need however many cycles of warm-ups before giving me a healthy, sticky bean, I might as well get cracking asap. It would of course be Sod's law if I got upduffed immediately, although my own ttc history tells me that it almost certainly won't happen. It probably helps that DH is utterly indifferent as to due dates.

That having been said, I can totally see why it would be really difficult to have a similar EDD to a previous loss.

Can I jump. I name changed so you might not recognise me from the Nov thread. ..

Anyways. I've just stopped bleeding.

Terrified to get pregnant again. Desperate to at the same time.

so.. cd7

Sorry.. cd7, ttc#2 cycle 15 (irregular)

Welcome. Chasing - assuming of course you want to join us and not jump on top of us - although jumping sounds slightly more fun! Sorry to hear of your loss.

You've summed up perfectly how I feel about any future pregnancy - desperate to be pregnant again yet petrified in equal measures.

Just popping on to say that AF has arrived so my WTF cycle is officially over. I was also very lucky, in that as with last time, it was only 2 days longer than usual. We've decided not to wait out another cycle before trying again (the last one was agonising enough), although I'm trying to be realistic in my expectations. So far I've managed BFPs after 2 cycles the first time round and 3 on the second. I know that given that my fertility had been reduced (the joys of having a Fallopian tube removed) a BFP anytime between cycles 4 and 6 will be quite good going. Only time will tell I guess. I'm really hoping it will be third time lucky this time around.

Cariad great that you know where you are. I think I would be giving it a shot this month too. It's just too frustrating waiting. Hope it happens quickly and this one sticks!

Jumping into the thread, rather than on top of you! :-D

Has anyone waited a specific amount of time to try again and why? Dr said " you might want to wait one .. OR THREE month" .. I don't know why!?

Hi all, not feeling so positive about the work thing today!
Lots has been piled on me and I'm being observed quite a lot aftafter half term (we all are, not just me). Just kept thinking that I shouldn't be listening to it, i should be coming home to start my maternity leave.

Anyway, I know I need to snap out of it so I'm just thinking cd3, this will be the cycle. I'm tempting fate as if I got pregnant this cycle it would mean starting maternity leave at the end of the school year when everyone else is on holiday too. So I'd be on maternity when not expected to be at work anyway!
Fingers crossed.
A July baby is polar opposite to the little Xmas baby I was promised! But as I said to DH, i really dont care about when they're born as long as they wait 9 months!

Sorry for the long post... *runs away

Hey treacle, I don't know your back story but can guess... I'm sorry

Re half term. I'm also term time only. However, family member is too and was due sept. Meant she basically got an extra month paid because she started her mat leave from Sept 1st even though she was off from the start of summer hols! I'm hoping for a similar outcome. I really want to try again this month (just stopped bleeding from first tri mc) but a few reasons are stopping me - ill probably be due on my dc1 bday .. I don't want another early summer born for schooling reasons.. and I'm scared post mc.

But all my mind can think of is "I just want a baby and I don't care about anything else"