Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows

[missalexandra]

New thread ladies, hope it brings us all good luck.

Congratulations Ducky on your rainbow baby, what a lovely thing to wake up to this morning, hope you get comfortable soon!

We have our 2nd consultant appointment next week, hopefully they will have the results from our follow up blood sample 12 weeks post Edie's birth. I couldn't believe just how much good they took before inducing my labour. Clearly just to check every possible thing as I don't remember them doing that when I had my little boy 4 years ago. The initial bloods cake back with a weekly positive antiphospholipid level, something to do with my blood clotting more than it should I think. However I'm not sure how this works seeing as Edie died due to feto maternal haemorrhage? If it comes back positive I think they will recommend taking low dose aspirin when TTC again.

Has any one else had to take this? Can I ask a question if you do take it do you find it has affected your periods at all in terms of intensity?

Thanks lovely ladies x x

Congratulations Ducky. Sorry you had a traumatic time glad to hear you have your baby back with you

Congratulations ducky! Sorry to hear you had a traumatic time of it, but glad baby is back with you now. I hope you both have a speedy recovery

vicky i was checked for antiphospholipid levels after Ben due to having a huge clot which was only discovered after he'd been born. I'd spoken to my gp before getting the results about it and he'd said about the taking aspirin to help, but didn't mention anything about that affecting periods- however my bloods came back ok, so i wouldn't really know if it would affect your periods. Sorry, that was probably no help whatsoever

Love to all xx

Welcome to the world Baby Ducky!! Sorry to hear it was scary and painful. Thank goodness your rainbow is finally safe in your arms and doing well. Big hugs to all the family ]

Congrats Ducky! So much love to you and the baby. xa

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy ducky. Sounds like an absolutely horrific birth and I hope you're both ok and doing well. Rest up, we are here when ou are ready and not a minute before x

Congratulations ducky and welcome to the work baby Ducky! I am so sorry it was so traumatic and horrific a birth. Make sure you get the aftercare you deserve and need - including psychological. I don't know how bad it was but a friend of mine had a birth so traumatising, she saw a hypnotherapist trained in NLP and he basically reprogrammed her brain, erasing the pain and trauma attached to the birth. Pretty awesome stuff. It was back home but I am sure there will be some specialists in the UK too if necessary.

AFM... I'm very poorly and full of cold and I can feel that AF is coming: cramps, spots, irritability, the lot. I'm not as devastated as last month. But ugh. I just hope we will get there soon...

Vicky - I was on low dose aspirin whilst carrying rainbow. I dont know about affecting periods as I only started taking it from 10 weeks into pregnancy. When I went back to see consultant after losing baby for my blood results and placenta results, they decided a future pregnancy should have low dose aspirin. I refused post mortem, but there was a true knot in the cord, and it indicated blood flow had been stopped. They said chances of happening again were very low, but to take aspirin would help blood flow through the cord better as it would be thinner. Also more scans where they would check the blood flowing to and from placenta and check babys growth. I didnt feel any different on it tbh

Thanks Tahunny, we declined post mortem as well, so we really surprised when they found the reason for Edie's death. A consultant I've spoken to, not mine, but will be a partial one for future pregnancy, has said to start taking the aspirin before getting pregnant hence the question. I really appreciate your reply x x

Many many congratulations Ducky! Amazing to have him in your arms. Hope you're both recovering well.

Cake, always glad to share with a fellow premmie mum :-) We were advised to wait 9 months because I had a classical/vertical EMCS - with a normal CS I think you're ok to try again much sooner. Classical CS are more common for pre 28 weekers though - do you know what you had? My consultant did say if I'd been older or taken ages to conceive then she would be ok with starting TTC earlier...its all a balance really isn't it. And at the end of the day, the doctors just advise, they don't control the shagging! She also said it was probably an infection that caused prem labour, and I was just unlucky (understatement of the year, thanks doc).

I moved house 2 months after angel was born, and took advantage of a different GP to get a second opinion, and requested a 'pre-conception clinic' with a specialist consultant. He wanted to do some more tests to try and find out what caused me to go into premature labour (a scan, blood tests, and swabs down below). So make sure you push for tests if you want the info - the NHS seems to be a mixture of postcode lottery and 'he who shouts loudest' sometimes. Ironically they didn't find anything else (other than the strep B infection which I knew I had anyway), but I take a lot of comfort from knowing I have a normal uterus/ovaries/cervix etc. and the info will help form a plan for when I do get preggers again.
I love the NHS, but I did really have to stay on top of it and push to get all the tests that were recommended completed, before the 9 month wait was up. Maybe your area will be fine... hope so.

Take care of yourself though, its very early days and that pain is at its rawest around your due date.

Waves to everyone else!

Thank you everyone

Well have recovered a tad so will fill you all in!

Went to hosp on Saturday morning, had a pessary which was very uncomfortable then started contracting every 2-3 mins quite strongly so started to get excited, was very uncomfortable all day. Was examined late at night and was only 2 cm, they couldn't give me another pessary as I was contracting too much so gave me a sweep... Then it all stopped so I decided to get some sleep.

Sunday I was moved to labor ward to have my waters broke. Tey did that in te morning which was very painful as my cervix was high and posterior. Then just walked around all day. After around 8 hours I had not had any contractions so they decided to start the drip and advised me on an epidural. This made my blood pressure drop and I started going light headed dizzy and sweaty and started being sick. They put all these in and I was stuck on te bed, then the epidural failed so I felt everything right up until the end when they realised it was how I was lying, then they told me I couldn't use it because i was fully dialated and needed to know when to push.

So I started to push and the midwife started to say he's very big and might get stuck and if this happens people will come rushing in. She was telling me to push and kept saying how well I was doing then hit the emergency button and the room filled with people.

They dropped the bottom of the bed and put me in stirrups and with no warning cut me, then cut me again and then they started pulling and telling me to push. Then they put ds on my stomach but I couldn't see him moving and they grabbed him and rushed him to the ressusatair there were loads of people messing with my bits and pushing on my stomach to get the placenta out but I could see them in the reflection in the widow giving him oxygen but it didn't look like he was moving. I went into melt down mode.

Then they sewed me up and I could feel it and all of a sudden ds was gone and no one would tell me wht was happening

They wouldn't let me get out of bed and there was blood every where and I became ill again and couldn't stop being sick. I then found out that they had took him to scbu but I couldn't go with him

Three hours later he was wheeled into the room looking amazing but they said there is a chance we both have an infection so we both need iv anti biotics.

So we are both staying at hosp having treatment, but we get to stay together and go to scbu twice a day for his anti biotics.

I love him, he is amazing. I am very very VERY sore and went through some very panicky moments but he was so worth it.

Woh that was long!

Hope everyone is doing ok x

Oh Ducky your post has just made me weep. You had such a difficult birth, I'm so happy you got through it. You must have been petrified. And he sounds utterly gorgeous! You have given me hope, love to you and your family xxx

Gosh Ducky - that all sounds so traumatic. Well done you, you're such a trooper! How is he now? I am so happy for you and so proud, don't know why, but that's the first feeling that popped into my head!

AFM....I am shaking like a leaf. I think there is a super faint line on my FRER.

Welcome to everyone new, sorry if I miss anyone.

Ducky A massive congratulations! I'm sorry it sounds like you had a very traumatic birth but at least your little one is here now.

Townsender I'm a fellow ttc'er, literally made the decision 2 weeks ago so very early on. I know just how nerve wracking it is, hope you're feeling ok about it and am hoping you get your BFP soon!

Vicky I'm sorry to here about little Edith, you lost your little girl a couple of weeks before me so I understand hiw raw the grief still is. I was told my placenta had ruptured whilst I was in labour but haven't had conclusive results yet.I hope at least getting the results has helped you in some way. As I said up post I'm ttc too so here to handhold if you decide to ttc.

Tahunny Congratulations on your rainbow baby! I can't imagine how difficult it is to deal with the grief whilst looking after another child. Although they are never a replacement I'm pleased you got your happy ending.

Madem Looks like congratulations! ! I was always told a line is a line! How are you feeling about it?.

ducky so sorry to hear it was a traumatic experience, take lots of time to get well and enjoy your little one, congratulations x

townsender thanks for sharing your experience, it's really useful. Apparently I should've had a letter to see the consultant obstetrician by now so my gp has chased that up for me and I should get my appt in the new year.

madem wow a line is a line! How are you feeling? Big hugs as I'm sure it's really scary but a quiet little woop for you from me x

Afm, 7 weeks today since I went into labour with W and I feel so bloody sad. Miss him so so much but trying to remain upbeat for dd, it's hard hard hard work. I'm still having a few issues physically with a bit of spotting and also found a lump down below (gulp) but gp has checked me over and assured me she feels it's just a side effect of pregnancy/million miles an hour labour. I'll get checked out again in a couple of weeks but it's scary. Being scared and sad, what a combo. Sorry for me me me post x

He's back in scbu

Oh no ducky , what happened??

It's so faint I think I'm imagining it...

EllieandAnna Ill take that hand holding please, started to count cycle this month to see if I'm ovulating again. On CD 4 today so let's see how it goes.

ducky I'm hoping that baby Ducky gets back out of SCBU really soon and that he is healthy and happy x

I can't see pics madem!! Wish I could hope it's s BFP for you, my line was incredibly faint to start with no one else could actually see it!

He has jaundice it's not too bad but just got very upset as first they said they would move the machines to my room so he could stay with me but now they have said he has to be in scbu so we are separated

They tried to discharge me without him as they won't know for a few hours how long he needs to be on there but there's no way in hell I'm leaving this hospital empty handed again so the dr agreed to let me stay as long as I need.

I just want to be with him, I would stay with him until he's out but am struggling to sit due to my stitches

ducky has he got one of the really cute baby sunblind style goggles to wear while he is in his photolamp? Our monster, now 4, has jaundice and his baby shades are in his baby box still. They'll sort him out! X
I'm sure you've been recommended already but sit baths alternated one with tea tree oil and the one with lavender are great to help stitches heal when you are home x

Ooh madem congrats! Yay so happy for you. Lovely news.

Ducky so sorry about the jaundice, and the stitches sound ouchy - hope you have plenty of pain relief.

Cake it is so painful and it's just a long journey. Wish I could fast forward these awful first months for you. I was going to say I had a lump like you described and it went away quickly, so hopefully that will happen for you too.

Also hello to town and Vicky - I lost my son at 39 and 3, 20 hours after he was born, in January. It is an awful experience that no parent should have to go through. Sorry you're here.

ducky you're such a trooper getting through the birth! I really hope you start to feel more comfortable soon, and that your little man is soon on the mend from the jaundice.

madem quiet congrats on the faint line.

cake sorry to hear you had the extra concern over the lump, but glad you got it checked out sooner rather than later.

AFM i still have absolutely no Christmas spirit, it's all a bit crap really. We've got Brian's first nativity tomorrow, and while i'm looking forward to it; it's yet another thing that Ben won't do. God sometimes i feel like just getting someone to slap me hard around the face.

Love to all xx

ducky that sounds horrendous, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, and that even now he isn't with you- you have done so well and my heart goes out to you.
With you ds and the jaundice, I thought it was normal practice to keep the baby with you on a billibed? Why does he need to be in scbu, have they said? My eldest was low birth weight, jaundiced and on a billibed, it was rubbish but she was with me at least. Thinking of you & hoping things turn a corner for you v soon.

Welcome to all the new people, I'm sorry to see so many :( and I'm struggling to keep up with the thread tbh, my rainbow is 2 months old and it's all a bit full on as I also have older children. We lost E at 36weeks due to a placental abruption just over a year and a half ago - cant believe its been that long - and this thread and the ladies on it have helped me through that dark time and the fears of a rainbow pg. I hope you all find the thread and these ladies as helpful as I have x

kayleigh ((hugs)) for the nativity, I found it extremely hard last year, it was a good job it was dark in the audience, is all I can say.

Sorry not to namecheck will try to catch up on the thread - wishing gentle days to all especially as this time of year is so hard x

Congratulations ducky, me and Mr Owl having a little cry here reading your posts. Brought back a lot of memories, and sounds like it was pretty horrendous. Hope you are back together soon.

So many new ladies on here, welcome to you all. I've not properly read everything, I will go back and do so soon, but I do hope this thread will help you all through this most difficult time. I found and still do find it so helpful to be able to talk to people who have shared this experience with me.

A Facebook friend of Mr Owl has just posted that she lost her son 2 weeks ago at a day old. I get so angry that this is still happening to so many people.