Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows

[missalexandra]

New thread ladies, hope it brings us all good luck.

That's excellent Kayleigh! I was wanting to do a fundraiser for the hospital I was at, they had an amazing bereavement suite and provide memory boxs, baby clothes and things like that but never did as I never really knew how to go about it.

They have since decided 'they don't need' a bereavement midwife at the hospital and have got rid of her as there is usually only around 5-6 sb there each year they are meant to call someone in if a stillbirth happens, one of the midwifes told me that since gettig rid of the bm there has been 2 stillbirths, no one has been there to support either of the ladies

That's awful ducky. How sad that such a role is not valued.

That's terrible ducky, i don't think there was a bereavement midwife at my hospital, however all of the midwives i had (there were 5 due to shift changes ect) were so lovely and sensitive. There was however a bereavement nurse who we met with when we registered Ben, and she's also lovely. I can honestly say i truly feel for those 2 women who went through that experience without that support x

I know I found the bereavement midwife played a massive role in helping me through such a difficult time, and even this pg she has always been there she sorted out all my cons appts and things.

How did it go today critter, have been thinking of you x

Hope you and your little man are doing well missa x

I thought id ask a question as I'm guessing people with their lovely rainbows may be able to shed some light. Last time I went for a scan I was 32+5, that is based on my 12 week scan, there was a lot of confusion at first as I have very very irregular periods, there was a trainee sonogropher in the room and I noticed when she was taking her measurements there was numbers coming up in the corner saying how many weeks along the measurements work out to be. all the measurements se took said 34 weeks but my due date has not been changed. does anyone know what this could mean? If that's correct it would mean I'm 37 weeks now and if thts true I want my induction moved!

Am going to check at my apt tomorrow but just wanted to know if anyone on here knew anything about it.

Waves and hugs to everyone x

ducky the bereavement nurse we saw has also told us she'll be available to support us through another pregnancy, in her own words "the care doesn't stop just because you're expecting again" which i think is a good way to look at it.

critter how did your appointment go? Thinking of you xx

Kayleigh that is an amazing achievement, well done you for doing that.

Thinking of Missalex and her baby boy.

Ducky good luck tomorrow, I hope they can give some clarity on the dates.

Had another big bleed with bad cramps last night and thought it was all over and that I was about to miscarry. I was (and am still) beside myself. A straightforward pregnancy would be hard enough without the threat of recurrent mc... Scan today showed bean is still clinging on but it's touch and go. Doctor said 50:50 chance. I have another scan Friday unless I lose it before then.

Oh critter really really hope everything goes well fri. Could they not identify where the bleeding was coming from? X

((Hugs)) critter, I'm sorry it's not straight forward :(

Ducky - I think the size at 12wks (ish) is meant to be best for estimating gestation - later on there's much more variation in size. I measured a week or two less than I actually was, but my babies are always small (& once the size was plotted on my individual graph it was closer to the average expected for me as I'm small too - but size at 12 wks is less affected by that iyswim? Not sure I'm making sense...). Anywat I think they'll stick with the original estimation of your due date, sorry, I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear. But means your baby is growing well - a v good thing :)

Thinking of you missa, hope you're both back home safely

Waves to all x

Oh gosh Critter - what a terribly difficult time for you. I am so sorry. You seem like such a wonderful and kind, caring person and I cannot believe that this is happening to you. Life is so incredibly unfair. I'm holding you very tight in my thoughts.

MissA I really hope all is well with you and your rainbow. Big (gentle) hugs to you both.

kayleigh what an incredible achievement. What a wonderful person you are for actually organising the whole thing!

ducky not long at all now. I can only concur with what was said (sorry, on phone, can't scroll back to check by whom!) about the 12w size being used as a benchmark. It probably isn't what you want to hear at all, I am aware of that too. I can only imagine how anxious you must be feeling. How are you filling your days?

lake how are you?

tulip , everything ok?

owl your comment about the cbfm not making us pg made me chuckle. You're so right! But I've always been a planner and a "good girl" (apart from when I was a bad girl, tehee!) and in my work, doing all the right things towards something, working hard etc equates getting the results. So the lack of control over the results is a complete shock to me. I can't deal with not being in control. At all. Well... Except of course I have to. I'm taking this whole journey as one big (unnecessary) lesson in humility, patience and "letting go"-ness. In French they say "le lacher-prise" and it's literally that: letting go. That's what I need to do, as I know that's what's holding me back. But as we all know... Easier said than done! But I'm on the right track: cd 5 and not an opk, cbfm or thermometer in sight

Wishing you all gentle evenings. Big big hugs (((critter)))

Ps: betty how are you doing?

• and in my WORLD (not work)

Thanks guys, that makes sense. The people around me are trying to keep me busy and take my mind off the anxiety I bet they all can't wait until I've had this baby!

X

critter so sorry things aren't going as straightforward as hoped, and that you've got this extra stress (which i'm sure is doing you no good at all), i really hope bean continues to hang on. Sending hugs.

madem well done for doing so well without using opks, cbfm and thermometers. I'm much like you at the moment, just going to take my chances. Knowing me it'll probably happen when i least expect it (like around my birthday- which is usually when i get totally sloshed and generally make a disgrace out of myself haha)

Love to all xx

Hello ladies,

This is my first chance to get online since going into hospital, I have hated not being able to connect but have been thinking about you all every day! We got home today, finally got the all clear for our little man over the infection. It is such a relief to be home and not see him hooked up to all those horrid monitors and lines.

He arrived safely by c-section and weighed in at 7.5lbs, so they were way out on their weight predicitions! Unfortunately he had to go into intensive care for a few days due to an infection, nothing serious but they still wanted him in just in case. He is adorable and is a very good boy during the day... nights are quite a different story though! I am totally sleep-deprived and exhausted, a chair in intensive care is not the best place to recover from a c-section. Am still looking at him and asking myself "is he really, really ours to keep?".

Thank you Earth for keeping the thread updated x

Apologies but have not had time to read any of the thread but will try and catch up soon. Really hope youre all doing ok, big hugs to everyone xx

missalex Hurrah! Massive massive congratulations, so glad he is safely home, what a stressful worrying start, I hope you're getting lots of newborn snuggles and being looked after as you recover from your c section.

Missa! Lovely news great to hear he is home safe! X

Great to hear you are home now and you are both doing well. I still look at baby owl and can't believe he's mine.

Sending you all hugs and a big kiss for your beautiful boy.

So glad you are home MissA x

Great news to hear you're back home MissA and that your son is better, although i can appreciate how worrying it must have been for you and your DH at the time. It sounds like the hospital staff were on the ball too, which is brilliant xx

Missa, what fantastic news. We have all been rooting for you! How worrying this must have all been. I am so relieved that you can finally be home with your little Rainbow baby and start to enjoy life with him in it x

So glad you are home missA must have been so hard seeing your little man so sick.

Hoping for the best for your little bean Critter.

Madem my DH has become obsessed with OPKs and my cycle in general. Makes it so hard as it breaks my heart to see him so disappointed when AF comes. I keep trying to get him to relax about it but he is taking it very personally doesn't help his ego that we conceived E the first month of trying. I've thrown all of it out and told him I don't want to talk about my cycle at all.

I'm exhausted being back at work but enjoying it as well

You are absolutely amazing lake - well done for enjoying work!

I've thrown it all out too. This cycle, I am only going to count cycle days and guesstimate ovulation time. Dh was going to be away for 5 days next week (around ov, if I am guesstimating correctly!) and I broke down into tears when he told me. And bless him..he suggested dd and I just join him for the last 3 days! He's such a 'fixer' So we are going away next w/e. Now I need to convince him that we should stay in a hotel, not on a friend's sofa (especially given the timing...!)

Saw the counsellor for the 2nd time today. Don't feel much different than when I talk to friends or dh really... That walk to and from the hospital is the hardest part each time...

I am really hating work at the moment. It has become a massive bitch-fest and so cliquey. I literally just walk in, sit at my desk, teach and walk out. It's utterly miserable and lonely. And a colleague who 'baby-bombed' me very sensitively and kindly earlier this year just lost her baby at 25 weeks. Her waters just broke last week and it all went downhill from then. I just feel like there is no respite... (sorry for being all doom and gloom!)

I hope everyone is doing as ok as can be.

Lake glad you're enjoying being back at work. I too have a DH who takes the arrival of AF personally, although recently he's been less OTT about it.

Madem your DH sounds amazing! Bless him for suggesting you join him for those days, although i agree with you about the hotel rather than a friend's sofa. Sorry to hear work hasn't been good recently.

Good luck for tomorrow critter x

Madem how has work been? It's crap that you feel like that when you are there x

Two weeks on Monday until my induction... It can't come soon enough

My midwife has been amazing through this whole pg and before! I have probably been the worlds worst patient as I get so anxious at anything! So I am making her a gift bag to say thank you, so far I have a box of chocolates, some fancy hand cream and some bath fizzers... Can anyone think of anything else I could add?

Hugs to everyone x

Sounds like a lovely idea ducky. How about a scented candle for relaxing?

Good luck for tomorrow critter

madem hope work was a bit better today. Enjoy your weekend away!

lake glad work is going OK, I found it good to be back, gave me a focus. My colleagues were really supportive too, which helped a lot.

Waves to everyone else. missa are you sharing the name of your rainbow, it's fine not to, I'm just nosey interested. Ignore this if you don't want to!!!

Good idea owl