Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows

[missalexandra]

New thread ladies, hope it brings us all good luck.

lake sorry you got a BFN, and also about your grandma, i hope she makes a speedy recovery. I can relate to what you said about people assuming you're "ok" because you've gone back to work- as i've frequently documented on here my mum is always issuing demands like she did before Ben. I'm glad your counselling session helped .

madem sorry to hear AF arrived . I haven't used opks or temping, but i can understand how it would all make you feel stressed. Like you, i'd rather just DTD and quietly keep my fingers crossed- all the planning when was best to DTD was stressing me out even more i found. Personally i don't think i could leave this particular MN thread, as you ladies are so understanding, but i get where you're coming from regarding other threads.

Love to all xx

Madem I am so sorry you're struggling. It's totally crap. I remember that innocence too, when I first stopped the pill in April 2011 assuming I'd have a 2012 baby. I am also a long time member of the 10 plus thread (for women who've been TTC 10 months or longer). They are absolutely lovely and kind and funny and would welcome you (and anyone else on this thread) if you wanted to join. They've been through shitty times and, together with you lovely women, are some of the kindest ladies I know.

This thread and the 10 plus have been so helpful to me over the past 2.5 years. But I think limiting screen time in general is not a bad idea, it's not healthy for us.

Kayleigh how're things with your mum at the moment? I think you're amazing how you cope with the demands on you as a mum, a wife, and a daughter and manage your grief while caring for everyone else.

Oh and ducky I agree with earth. I cannot believe your MIL said that to you. I cannot process it.

Mil is a mega bitch she's always been like that!

34 weeks today

Hi all first off I am sorry for being AWOL for so long and not being around to support people. I'll be honest and say the first few weeks with our little one took some adjusting too and I did struggle a bit. E is 8 weeks now and we are all good. I think the sleep deprivation is a lot better and everyone is happier!
I haven't been able to read back the whole ? 6 weeks I've missed but can see there has been loads happening. Congratulations Miss A hope you and your little one are doing ok and enjoying all those lovely snuggles x

Congrats little so thrilled for you, I know where you are coming from, that BFPS we are yearning for is terrifying when it comes, just take a deep breath and set yourself small targets, take it a bit at a time x

Ducky you are nearly there! 34 weeks! Sorry about your MIL, what did she do?

Glad your adjusting ruby

My mil is just very very insensitive (and wierd ) she had nothing to do with dd throughout my pregnancy, she didn't buy a single thing and didn't seem bothered. When we lost dd we got a text a couple of days later saying 'sorry for your loss' she always manages to say something hurtful whenever we see her. But I have learnt that is just her. Completely wierd!

Luckily my dm is lovely, she stayed with us the whole time at the hosp an a few days after and she mentions dd a lot

ruby so glad everything is easing up a tiny bit as you get to know E, and no need to apologise at all, you should be enjoying your baby and not worrying about other people, that just shows what a lovely kind person you are!

ducky some people are just weird. Glad you have your lovely mum. Your DH must love you so much, especially if he had that kind of insensitivity and lack of affection from his mother.

AFM not great, heavy red bleeding this morning. Went into the doc for a scan and the sac is still there, and he couldn't see where the bleeding was coming from, but it's not looking good. I go back in to see if the bean is still hanging in there on Saturday.

Oh my goodness Critter, I'm so sorry, what a worry. Are you able to take it easy until Saturday? Or are you the type of person who is better to keep busy? Keeping everything crossed for your little bean xxxx

Oh no critter , nonononono, I don't want this to happen to you! I'm so sorry. Let's pray and hope that all is well. I'm holding you very close and giving you a loving squeeze. Keep us posted xxx

Oh critter, so sorry you have this worry. Am keeping everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you xxx

Thanks ladies. Clinic called back to say I have to come back on Monday now. There basically isn't anything to do other than wait it out and see what happens. Blood test showed my hcg and progesterone levels were pretty low for 5 weeks so I don't think it's going to be good news.

critter firstly thank you for such lovely words, i don't feel that amazing most of the time though. Things with my mum are much the same, but it's a catch 22 situation. I'm sorry you've got this worry at the moment, i'll be keeping everything crossed for you

ruby absolutely no need to apologise! You've been busy adapting to E (and let's be honest, it's hard enough adjusting to having a new baby without having been through what we have). I'm glad you're all doing well though.

ducky while my MIL isn't as bad as yours i can understand what you're saying. DH's mum and me have never got along (i used to refer to her as "the ratbag") but it was fine because i knew where i stood with her. After Ben she did a total 180 and is so sickly sweet it makes me nervous (the woman once referred to me as a bitch in front of my DD)

Love to all xx

Haha had to chuckle at 'the ratbag'

X

Recently, although baby has been moving fine I have this constant anxiety, kind of like I feel uneasy. For those of you that have had rainbows is this normal?

I said to my midwife, baby has no pattern of movements and some days he is wriggly and then he has quiet days so I never know when to be worried, she told me to trust my instinct but that hasn't worked in a long time

Sorry for the moaning, just want to hibernate for the next 3 weeks!

Waves to everyone x

Ducky the ratbag was the polite way of referring to her- when i spoke about her with my best friend a few more choice words were used i have to admit. Sorry that you've been having the constant anxiety recently, and while i haven't had my rainbow yet i'd assume it's normal. Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions at the best of times, without having gone through what we have. I'm sending you love and hugs xx

ducky it's totally normal to have this anxiety. I didn't realise how stressed I was about the pregnancy and birth until I'd had my rainbow, and the dreams... Unbearable.

All I can say is hang on in there. You are really brave going through the pregnancy again, and in a few weeks this part will be all done with. You will be up all night with a newborn instead of with your worries.

critter thinking of you. Really hope the bean hangs on. Try to rest if you can.

ruby glad you are adjusting to your newborn. Give a cuddle from me.

missa if you are reading, we are thinking of you and you dh and son all the time.

madem the TTC is a nightmare. Remember, as I said on here once during my own ttc nightmare, the cbfm etc doesn't get you pg!! Me and dh got fed up of the pressure so just DTD every other day unless AF was visiting. Worked after a few months..... Hope I'm not speaking out of turn, it's such a difficult time. Sending you hugs.

Waves to everybody else.

Ha Kayleigh I can imagine I have used some 'colourful' words to describe my mil

Thanks guys, I ended up at the hospital (AGAIN! ) for a ctg. They said everything looked perfect so am trying to relax a bit!

MissA hope your little man fights the infection soon and that you get to go home. Look forward to hearing from you.

Madem yes TTC is so tough. And like you I avoided the forums for such a long time. Sounds awful but I everytime I read about somebody getting their bfp or any time any kind of pregnancy announcement used to kill me. In fact the pregnancy/breast feeding etc sections are still hidden, I can't bear to look at them on my active list. You will know what is best for you.

Ducky sorry about your mil - she sounds like a complete knob you are doing so well, only 3 weeks to go and you will have your beautiful baby in your arms. Is this going to be your second baby or have you any other children apart from your angel?

Critter I'm terribly sorry you are bleeding. Nothing is ever straighforward is it? I hope you are getting plenty of rest and lots of cuddles from your doggy.

Ruby no need to apologise, glad you and family are feeling a bit more settled now

Waves to all

Thanks little no other children so he will be my 2nd

Any news on missa and her little man?

How are you doing critter? X

I haven't heard anything else Ducky so I hope they're both ok.

Critter, I've been thinking of you too x

Hey ladies, no more news from me... Bleeding has stopped (but it was a lot, with clots and cramps) after the clinic prescribed me additional progesterone injections. MrC has to do them - the needle is massive and they're intramuscular so you get them in the top of the bum - but they seem to have prevented more bleeding so far so I am thinking next round I will ask to have the injections from the start. Won't know anything more until Monday. Just trying to remember there is nothing I can do to influence the outcome for this bean. The combo of infertility, ivf, neonatal loss and miscarriage has been pretty traumatising. But am doing ok.

Ducky hope the anxiety is manageable. You are on the homestretch.

How is everyone else doing? Thinking of you brave ladies climbing this mountain one step at a time.

critter i've been thinking of you lots, and i'll be keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow

AFM the SANDS charity night i held on Friday was a roaring success, and we raised over £500, so i'm thrilled! I didn't get to bed until 3am Saturday, but it was so worth it. And the best bit is the landlords of the pub we held it in are more than happy for us to hold future fundraisers there too, which is lovely of them

Love to all xx

Congratulations kayleigh that's a brilliant achievement!

Thanks owl people keep saying well done to me, and i feel a bit of a fraud, because i only organised it, it was the pubs customers who bought raffle tickets ect that raised the money. I'll be organising another one though, but i think i'll start planning it more in advance so it's not such a rush around x