Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

[BobsyBoo]

I think I'm at the point that you were at babybythesea. We didnt want such a big gap DD is about to turn 4 & we started trying for #2 in January last year. I've had some & tests everything is fine, what doesn't help is that OH has a very low sex drive so the most we seem to manage is twice a month at the fertile time & generally not at any other time of the month.

We were the same with DD didnt expect it to happen quickly & stopped being careful. It's hard because I've always wanted to have 2 because I didn't want any child I had to be an only child, but I've been doing everything I can for it to happen but it's been 19 months & I'm getting to the stage where I think it's time to give up. I've just turned 38 so I've not got time on my side.

Glad it worked out for you.

[babybythesea]

On the positive side, if it does happen for you, a big age gap has worked well up to now. DD1 was old enough to properly be part if it all. She also had a bit more patience so when I was feeding she understood that all she had to do was wait a few minutes and I'd be able to play with her again. We had no jealousy at all. She also had her own life to lead (a little bit, anyway!). She went to nursery, then school, so I had time with the baby and she didn't feel put out because she was with her own friends. I often get "You're very lucky Mummy, because when I was little you had to do it all by yourself but now you've got me to help you with the baby. That's lucky, isn't it? I'm a very good big sister..." And she is. She will keep an eye on the baby if I nip to the loo, she plays with her but their toys are totally separate so no fighting (yet). So it can work beautifully, even if it's not what you planned.

[babybythesea]

Just realised my last post is quite insensitive. Sorry. I was trying to say that one of the things I worried about was an increasing age gap as the wait for the BFP went on and on (and on and on.....) and I needn't have done. So if it is something you are concerned about, don't be.

[BobsyBoo]

I didn't find your post insensitive at all babybythesea it was interesting to read your experience & I bet it's really lovely that your DD likes to help it probably makes her feel really involved rather than a bit younger when they can't help & don't understand & therefore feel left out. I have thought that it might work out better because DD would enjoy helping & she would be a great help, pass me a nappy, pass me the baby wipes, watch baby while I get their bottle.. It could a actually work out better than a smaller gap

[stubbornstains]

That's reassuring about the age gap baby. DS is 4.5, and I really hoped I'd at least be PG before he started school- but that's in 2 weeks now . So we'll be looking at a 5, maybe 6 year age gap- hope they'll still enjoy playing together....

(by the way, I think we're from the same neck of the woods, no? I'm sure I've seen you pop up on Cornwall threads?)

[babybythesea]

Yes, I'm in Cornwall.
I do worry that in a few years time I'll be playing Monopoly with one hand and snap with the other, but as someone pointed out to me, if I'm busy, Dd1 will probably still choose to play snap with Dd2 because it's better than Monopoly by herself! And DD1 is old enough to be gentle and tailor her games to Dd2 which is lovely. When she wants time out, She goes to her room and plays with her Lego or similar, and we shut the stair gate so Dd2 can't get to her to trash it all. It's working so far! Certain days out can be hard (Crealy adventure Park!) because DD1 needed to be accompanied on a lot of the rides, but Dd2 wasn't allowed on even with me. But I had anticipated that and went with friends (DH was working). So no, a big age gap isn't that issue I was worried it would be.

[tattyteddy]

Hi baby, thank you for sharing and glad to hear the age gap hasn't been a problem.

Don't give up hope Bobsy and how are the OPK working out for you? xx

[BobsyBoo]

As well though baby if you had a boy & girl close together they'd more than likely want to do completely different things anyway.

I don't like the one with dual hormone indicator tattyteddy so would go back to just the normal CB OPK. Boobs are sore again now but AF started with brown spotting today on 9DPO wasn't expecting it till Saturday! xx

[tattyteddy]

Bobsy, implantation bleed? Xx

[BobsyBoo]

I thought implantation bleeding too! I had it with DD & assumed it was AF so didn't find out I was pg till I was 6 weeks gone. I so want it to be but I keep thinking what if the OPK was wrong or I'm having a short luteum phase! It's all I've thought about all day but I've been scared going to the loo in case of what I do or don't find. Xx

[tattyteddy]

Anything today bobsy? X

[BobsyBoo]

Nothing all day then a bit more brown spotting this evening, from what I remember its like when I was pg with DD. I was tempted to POAS this morning but I thought it might be too early, might leave it a few more days & see what happens. X

[toastbuster]

Fingers crossed Bobsyboo!

Babybythesea - thank you for your post. Not insensitive at all - just a helpful reminder of reality. The age gap between me and my brother is nearly 4 years. I never felt it was big when we were growing up (and actually we had a lot of friends with the same gap). Now we are older it feels like nothing. So you are right to remind us that of all the issues we face, age gap isn't really one: there is no such thing as a perfect gap.

Tattyteddy - boob update?

I am just starting the TWW and a boobwatch of my own!!

[newbie6]

Hi all,

Good luck to those of you due to POAS soon! I'm just waiting for my clearblue fertility monitor to tell me I'm on a high so I can start annoying my DH again, cycle 5 and praying this is the one and the money I've spent on buying this monitor pays off......forever hopeful! Am on CD 10 and reckon I should hit those high days soon! X

[EmperorTomatoKetchup]

There's a 5.5 year age gap between me and my brother and we were actually quite close as children/teens. Much closer than we are now to be honest (polar opposites in every way as adults)

I've not posted on here for a couple of weeks so hope everyone is doing ok and really hoping it's implantation for you Bobsy. I've got my 21 and 2-3 day blood tests booked in over the next couple of weeks.

Babybythesea your first cycle with your DD sounds exactly the same as ours. Shall we/shan't we, let's see what happens, shit we're having a baby!

[BobsyBoo]

Thanks guys.

I've gone as far as telling OH I think I might be pg which is something I've never done in 19 months.

Good luck to everyone else & here's to a rush of BFP's on this thread.

I've decided age gap isn't an issue, my DD can be quite a handful so I think her being older & able to help & feel involved will be better. Siblings can fight or get on really well no matter what age gap.

[Shellster52]

Hoping you don't mind me jumping in. Just looking through the thread topics and this one is me to a T. Started trying for number 2 when DS was 3 months old. Over 3 years and 7 IVF's later, still not a hint of a BFP. Turns out hubby has 100% abnormal sperm morphology (don't know how we got our son?!) so now it feels like IVF is our only option. But I still try every month in hope. Trying naturally this month before another round of IVF next cycle. Just wanted a place to vent with others who understand the frustration.

[BobsyBoo]

So sorry for what you've been through Shellster52. Don't give up hope because you just never know. You here of so many people who go through IVF because they can't conceive & then they go on to conceive naturally and obviously you've conceived once.

Just to update everyone I got a BFN this morning . I'm on 11dpo so would have thought it would have picked up something but no hint of a line, I didn't use FMU though. I wish I hadn't got my hopes up but my body is doing exactly what it did when I was pg with DD.

Had other symptoms too or so I thought.

Anyway got a busy & fun day planned with DD so that can take my mind off it.

[toastbuster]

Hello Shellster. Jump in, jump in and vent away. Does knowing what the issue is help at all, with planning treatments or anything?

Bobsyboo - first time round I did get a negative when I tested early before a positive. So maybe it's not all over yet . Either way, I hope you've had a lovely day with DD.

I am now on TWW, and I want to be entirely symptom free. I think any symptoms are not going to show up until the TWW is pretty much over, and anything that comes sooner is basically AF on the way, no matter how much I google "is a rash a sign of pregnancy?" "is a strange twinge somewhere in my leg a sign of pregnancy" "I've got two eyes - am I pregnant" and so on. This month I am going to be sensible!!

Here we go . . .

[tattyteddy]

Sorry to hear that Bobsy, I hope that you've just tested too early.

Thanks for making me laugh toast! I don't feel that boobs are feeling too different. Thinking back to when I was pregnant with dd I don't remember having sore boobs then either!

Welcome shelster, nice to have you vent along with us

Good look everyone xx

[BobsyBoo]

Thanks guys, but AF has arrived & I'm gutted because the last time I had brown spotting like that I was pg with DD. Why has my body been so cruel!

That second paragraph did make me chuckle a bit toast

[Shellster52]

Thanks for the welcome. So I'm assuming by the last few posts that everyone on here is still trying for number two naturally? Has anyone done any tests to check for any issues? How long have you all been trying?

Knowing our issue kinda helps and kinda doesn't toast. At first I thought it was great to know hubby's sperm issue as I could then start googling and gave him the appropriate supplements to fix it. Didn't work. The thing that might really help is if he would eat healthier and lose weight but trying to achieve that is like banging my head against a wall and is kinda making me resent him for destroying my dream. On the other hand, I read your stories about the TWW and paying attention to every twinge and I remember I used to do that too. But now today is day 16 and we tried naturally but I really feel that IVF is our only hope so it saves me getting my hopes up and then coming crashing down at every period like I used to.

[BobsyBoo]

I've had tests Shellster52 and they can't find anything wrong. To be honest I'm starting to resent OH as his very low sex drive isn't helping & he's refused to have any tests because there's nothing wrong with him! We've always said we'd have more than one, but TTC for past 19 months without success has put a massive strain on our relationship.

It must be so frustrating trying to getting your DH to do those things he needs to do but won't.

Good luck with your next round of IVF.

I'm currently suffering that crash at AF arriving & was convinced this month I was pg its an awful feeling.

[tattyteddy]

I'm on my six month of trying and I now its not that long in the scheme of things but I'm 37 now and worrying I've left it too late.

I've had blood tests done and they showed up as normal and the GP said they would refer me for further tests if nothing by the end of the year. GP seems to think that I have a lot on my plate at the moment and the stress is not helping me conceive. DH went for a blood test a couple of days ago and they are going to refer him to check his sperm!

I POAS yesterday on Day 29 and it was a BFN, but AF not here yet - I'm sure it's on its way though! It is awful each month you get your hopes up and nothing .

Good luck with the IVF.

Bobsy, some areas in the UK offer IUI even if you already have a child - has your GP offered this?

xx

[toastbuster]

Bobsyboo - sorry to hear the confirmation. I know that feeling - not fun :-(

I am going for the day 21 blood test next week. I am similar to tattyteddy - not been trying for that long in the grand scheme of things, (8 months, with 5 really really trying) but am 37 with 38 fast approaching and feel that time is not on my side (and suspect that age is at least part of my problem). So after I get the day results 21 I shall have a chat with the doctor (I really like my doctor) about any advice she has, and will then be going private straightaway to have any an every test available. And then see what they advise. I know that I am very lucky to be able to afford to do that.

Shellster - you have been through a lot. I am annoyed at your DH with you for not giving it a go - very reasonable things you were asking for.