Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

[tattyteddy]

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

[tattyteddy]

Hello June, glad to have you on board. Feel free to vent away! Halle it's always nice to hear done good news stories, typical that you got the bfp the month of going to the fertility clinic! Xx

[Artistic]

OP - we went through this. Second time couldn't conceive for 7 months. Just happened to try a fertility gel applied when TTC & despite being later than ovulation dates - happened to conceive. Worth trying!

[toastbuster]

Thinkaboutit - I know exactly what you mean - there are many things, big and small, that I have put on hold until after I have the next baby. And I should have just got on with most of them.

I currently have so many pre-AF signs that I might as well wear a flashing neon AF-coming light on my head BUT deep down I am still hopeful. (Though I have managed to cut back on my googling addiction. ) So I am still going to be really gutted sometime in the next few days. But docs apt to find out test results next week (day 21 tests) so I hope that having an action to take will make me feel better.

[BobsyBoo]

Good point tattyteddy might have a look into that. Drinking usually gets him in the mood but alcohol not a good idea when TTC. I just need to find the right moment, he's so difficult to speak to & I get frustrated & it turns in to a row.

I'm the same feel like each month passing makes it less likely to happen. Hearing DD tell her dad she wanted a brother & a sister made me want to cry. I'd have loved to have had 3.

You sound like I felt like last week that gutting feeling that AF was on her way toastbuster but you never know many AF & early pregnancy symptoms are the same. Good luck.

Think we all need a bit of positive thinking but that is easier said than done, I've even got a book all about using positive thinking to get pregnant it's really good & makes a lot of sense & has some great true stories of people getting pregnant after years of unexplained infertility. I've read it & been changing my way of thinking, doing the excercises but then the arrival of AF set me right back in to negative mode even though realistically I couldn't expect it all to work so soon. I really do need to practice what I preach here!

[Shellster52]

I went to an infertility group and was kinda kicked out because I have one child. So nice to chat to others struggling with number 2. Women without any must just want us to shut up, be hearing comments like Newbie being told DS would be a great brother and Bobsy going to pre-school and seeing all other mums with 2 to 3 and her child alone. They don't realise how heartbreaking it is.

The other thing that I find comforting on here is that we are all around the same age. Although, probably that's a bit of an indication that this could be the reason we are struggling, especially with comments like Junebaby being 37 and having 2 m/c since trying for number 2.

Bobsy, I am glad at the very least that hubby doesn't mind you following things up with a Dr. From my experience, I truly think everyone our age who is struggling should be getting some medical assistance quickly. That's why I am going 'gung-ho' on IVF's right now so I can look back and know that I gave it 100% and not have regrets.

[BobsyBoo]

We all know we are lucky to have one child but we are also in the same mind that we don't want our child growing up on their own, that has always been something very important to me even before I got pg with DD.

I've noticed that too we are all around the same age. When I first joined mumsnet a couple of months ago I was on a thread titled 'Trying for No. 2" and there was a lady on there who was 41 who got pregnant very quickly with her second so there is hope for all of us.

OH has been quite supportive about me going to the docs and making an appointment for a Reflexology treatment - I thought he'd complain about me spending more money but he just said to try it if I think it'll help. We are still yet to sit down and have a proper talk.

I'm in the same mind I feel we need to do everything possible so I don't end up looking back with regrets. I've tried almost everything up until now so now its time for medical intervention!

[junebaby2011]

I have spoken to the doctor recently about my age as I was worried but she said 37 is still an ok age to conceive and new research shows that outcomes are better than we all read about on google (based on
old research).

She also said in the city where I live (SE England) 37 is still quite young to TTC!

[Metalhead]

Hi all, I've been following this thread from the beginning and think I should join you if I may, as so much of what has been said on her rings true for me.

I'm 35 next week and have one DD aged 4 who was conceived second cycle after coming off the pill. For various reasons I wasn't sure I wanted another until she was 3, but we've now been trying for #2 since July 2013. I did get pregnant in December last year on cycle 4 (I generally have quite long cycles and the one I caught was over 80 days!) but sadly it ended in a mmc in February. I went down the surgical route as I just wanted it over with, but I'm now concerned that the procedure might have damaged my womb as we've been trying for 6 months since and nothing, even though it looks like I'm ovulating and we have been dtd lots around the right time every month.

This cycle was my last chance to get pregnant before I would have been due, and my temp dropped this morning so I'm just waiting for AF now. I have booked a private ultrasound and will try and get my GP to run some blood tests, as DH and I have said we'll only keep tying for another year, so I feel time is running out.

I think the worst bit for me is the constant uncertainty, feeling hopeful every month just to have those hopes crushed time after time. As much as I would love another child, I think if it doesn't happen I will be better off once we decide to stop trying and I can try to move on. At the moment I feel like I'm in limbo and for me that's the worst bit.

Thankfully my DH is very supportive and always does his bit without complaining. I'm sorry to hear some of your men are less sympathetic, it's hard enough without having to fight with your DH!

[slightlyconfused85]

Hi all, just checking in. Had AF on holiday starting on the 16th August despite having DTD lots at all the right times (I think). My cycle was 31 days long so we are trying very hard DTD lots this weekend (tmi sorry!). I'm 28, not far off 29 and DD1 was a contraception failure when I was 26 (honest, she was) so having been off contraception since April I'm hoping it won't be too much longer...my mum and sister both had fertility problems after their first child and before they were 30 (both have PCOS although I've not got it as far as I know) so I'm a little worried about starting to struggle.

So on Cycle 5 and desperately hoping for a bfp in a couple of weeks time. I've been reading the thread and I'm sorry to those of you whose DH are being difficult; it's hard for them to understand the anxiety of TTC - My DP is a real 'chill, it'll happen' kind of guy which counteracts my stressyness I suppose.

[TopC]

Toastbuster - I do find acupuncture relaxing - I tend to sleep every time during the session and I treat the therapist like a counsellor too and use it as an excuse to have a good old vent.

Oh shellster, 4 ICSIs - you are braver than I am. I'm scared to start the IVF as if it doesn't work what is the next step? at least before starting we can be hopeful. I don't know how well I'll cope if it doesn't work. And we have very limited resources. Gah. bloody money - it doesn't make you happy but it certainly makes things like this less stressful!

Thinkaboutittomorrow - if there is one piece of advice I wished i'd put into practice sooner it would have been to stop putting things on hold. I put stuff on hold for years and we're still not pregnant! jobs I didn't go for, places we didn't go, things we didn't see. Argh. It stopped this year and I decided just to go for a new job and it was the best thing I ever did. At least it gave me another focus and if you do get pregnant you will deal with it. Don't press pause. Because the sadness at not being pregnant just seems worse.

Hello to the new ladies joining us in this boat.

And Bobsy sorry to hear your other half is struggling. While this is a joint effort and you need to talk about what needs to happen as a couple - is there another way you could channel your sadness and need to talk on a daily basis? Obvs on here is a great start but a counsellor even? i know all the clinics offer a counselling service, a diary? Or finding a project that takes you away from these thoughts. Or a book! i know it sounds lame but when thinking about this becomes too much I know that a really good book is the only way to stop thinking especially at night. the Game of Thrones books were a brilliant distraction but finished those now and need something else to keep me from obsessing!

[BobsyBoo]

Thanks everyone for your supportive words over my probs with OH it helps to vent on here.

Hello Metalhead Sorry to hear about yout MMC. That is a very long cycle.

I know you mean about the constant uncertainty, that 2ww is awful you want to be hopeful but then your dreams are crushed. This was the worst one for me because for the first time in 19 months I really was convinced I was pregnant. We haven't set a time limit although I'm 39 next year so I don't think we'll give it much longer. Good luck with your tests & hopefully AF won't show up. Glad you have a supportive DH.

To be honest Topc I'm going to the docs on Monday about why I'm not conceiving & I'm also going to talk about how I've been feeling too. I have been struggling to cope the last few months & this month hit me really hard with being convinced I was pregnant. It doesn't help so many people I know expecting second or third, it's not that I'm not happy for others I just think why not me as well!

I know some ladies are going through worse than me I'm just not great at handling this or at least not these last few months. I've got myself a CD about positive thinking & relaxation, it's hypnotherapy one & seems quite good so far. I've got a busy day tomorrow & were away next weekend & hoping its ovulation time a relaxing holiday would be good for DTD but if not we'll have a lovely holiday anyway I'm sure. It doesn't sound lame at all, I need to make more time for reading. Thanks for your suggestions.

Let's hope for a rush of BFP's very soon on this thread we all deserve it

[toastbuster]

I can't believe no one's said anything about how awesome Junebaby's doctor is - that's the kind of thing I like to hear.

Hello to all who have joined us.

Bobsy - as you say, the symptoms are the same. And despite my attempts to be realistic I am still hopeful. My boobs are still sore (the pain will stop when AF arrives in the next day or two) but for now - it's not over til it's over!! (Though does anyone else wish that they knew nothing about 'implantation bleeding'? Just prolongs the wishful thinking).

And good luck with having a good chat with OH. I think the fact that our lives are marked out by this (DTD, DTD, guess it might be OV, DTD, DTD again just in case, TWW, google symptoms like a possessed speed typist, AF, repeat) means we feel it more, and are much more aware of time passing.

TopC - I'm with you on the books, and have read Game of Thrones too. Hoping for a new one soon. I went through a phase of thrillers (gone girl, before I go to sleep, Elizabeth is missing). They are quite good distractions.

Slightly confused - hope you are having a good Saturday night. ;-)

If AF arrives (see that if - positive thinking continues) I am going to start a new gym class and do one of acupuncture or reflexology.

[BobsyBoo]

If AF arrives toastbuster if! It's definitely not over till its over. I am exactly the same so wish I hadn't had implantation bleeding with DD because when I started brown spotting at 10DPO a week ago on Thursday I was convinced it was implantation & my body messed around all last weekend with bits then a bit more then not much again, and stopping at night until AF arrived in full force on Tuesday. It's no wonder this month has hit me so hard. Feeling so tired was a symptom I had but that's continued & something I'm going to mention to the doc because I'm constantly tired.

Thanks, you're right there it's DTD then 2 week wait then AF!

Taking my mind off things is a good catch up with the soaps thank goodness for sky multi room! , I do have a book on the go as well & also my positive thinking book.

I'm going for Reflexology on Friday morning so I'll let you know how I get on.

[tattyteddy]

Hello everyone, and welcome Metalhead and sorry to hear about your MMC.

My DD asked again if had a baby in my tummy, bless her! The challenges of explaining fertility to a three year old!

How is everyone this morning? I should be writing dissertation and not on MN!

I think when I'm on the 2ww this time I am not POAS unless AF is quite overdue. BFN are awful!

[Metalhead]

Oh I know that feeling tatty, my DD keeps starting almost every sentence with "when I'm a big sister..." At the moment! I think partly it is just because she assumes that's what happens when you grow up as all her friends have little siblings, but I nearly snapped the other day and told her to stop saying it as it really hurts every time. I have tried to explain that not all people have more than one child, and she knows a couple of other onlies, but it is so hard to explain.

[toastbuster]

The spotting has arrived, AF on her way. (Though boobs still sore so if nothing 'proper' by Thursday will POAS).

Bobsy - was the spotting and slow arrival of AF a new thing for you? It is for me (just started happening when we started ttc in fact) and I wonder if it is a sign of something? Possible hormone / age issue. Will ask my doc when I see her this week. Any luck with chatting to DH?

Metal, Tatty - questions from DC is tough! We haven't got there yet but sure we are not far off. Potential for me to cry when that happens.

[BobsyBoo]

Good luck toastbuster hopefully no proper AF.

I've always had brown spotting for a few days before AF but this was a bit unusual. Things have changed since TTC I seem to get more pink than brown. Yesterday it looked like AF was filtering off then got a bit heavier again in the evening. I've got docs appointment tomorrow & I'm going to mention about this AF.

Unfortunately no luck talking to OH he says I'm repeating myself & he knows what we have to do! He won't admit there is a problem with DTD. Maybe I'm just not going about it the right way.

[tattyteddy]

Sorry you haven't had much joy with OH Bobsy .

Toast, I'll keep my fingers crossed that it isn't AF x

[whycantifindaname]

Just popping in to say keep your chins up.

I conceived DS1 a few days after deciding we would stop contraception. But, when we started TTC no.2 ...no such luck. It took 6 months, which in hindsight is not so terribly long, but at the time felt like eternity. I was admittedly obsessed. I used the ovulation wee stick thingies, charted my temp and generally thought of nothing more until I finally got pregnant.

The really reassuring bit though is that I got pregnant a month after weaning DS2. So, although DS2 took 6 months, DS3 was super quick.

Best of luck.

[Metalhead]

I've just come back from my GP and he's agreed to run some initial blood tests as we've been ttc for six months now since my mmc. Even though I'm pretty sure the tests will all be fine and show that I'm ovulating, I'm feeling quite relieved that I got the ball rolling with the investigations. (And it means we won't have to fork out nearly £700 for a private fertility assessment!).

So, back on Friday (my 35th birthday - hooray!) for day 3/4 test, and then I'll have to figure out when my day 21 test should be once I've got a +opk.

[tattyteddy]

Thanks for the positive story whycantifindaname .

I'm glad you've got the ball rolling Metal and they'll hopefully put your mind at ease. Also happy birthday for Friday xxx

[tattyteddy]

P.S. Here is your cake for Friday .

[Metalhead]

Aww thanks tatty, I love a good cake! My mum will be baking me one this year and I'm very much looking forward to it!

[Portlypenguin]

Entering the tww again..... Hoping for this time! 5th cycle lucky.

[toastbuster]

Good luck to portly penguin!

Metal - I have my 21 day tests coming back soon, and like you I find the feeling that I am doing something to be quite reassuring. And happy birthday! Hope you have something fun planned.

Meanwhile just waiting for spotting (lots of spotting) to turn into AF. Seriously, this whole implantation thing is just b/s isn't it. Invented by pregnancy test manufacturers to encourage people to buy more tests by prolonging the hopeful stage. Darn them. (Yes I did test today within an hour of promising myself I wouldn't. BFN of course. I wasn't even that gutted (about that particular result) as I pretty much knew that would be the case. May as well just chucked some money down the loo).

Rant over! Off to bed!