TTC after MC; hand holding, hugs and lots of things that can JTFO!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Oh lauren that is just shit :( sending you massive massive hugs. Xxx

Just feel like I'm broken tbh. There is obviously something going on in my body that won't let me carry past this point. Hopefully the tests will give us some answers. At this rate my little girl will be in primary school before she gets a sibling.

Lauren I hope they look after you well and soon enough you will have a sibling for your daughter.

Tori, ignore him. Men do not understand. What you are feeling is perfectly normal.
My DH doesn't understand it either. It's horrible watching someone else get what you want and almost had.

Lauren, I'm so sorry you're going through all this again. Try to be strong enough to make sure you now get all the support, care and tests you deserve. Sending you big hugs x

My view Tori - is that men are pretty bloody useless most of the time! They don't get the attachment we get so early on and just don't understand how we feel all the time. Try to explain it to him.

Lauren - I'm so sorry that you are going through this again. I can't begin to imagine how it must feel more than once. I do know how truly devastated it must be for you.

Sorry that so many are going through a tough time. I hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel for everyone here.

Thank you all for your kind words following my BFP, the next few weeks / months are going to be tough and the anxieties of the past will no doubt come and haunt me. I just hope we get our happy ending.

Brummie I'm so so sorry. Please take care of yourself and even if you aren't up to TTC then stick around this thread for support.

Lauren I'm sorry you are bleeding. It's so unfair

Oh shit lauren I'm so sorry. I hope you get the support you deserve from the medical team to get to the bottom of this. Huge hugs to you this evening lovely.

Tori that's a really unfair comment for him to make but echoing what others have said, I just don't think they feel things the same as we do. They didn't experience the pregnancy, any of the symptoms, the testing etc so I think they are much more detached from the whole thing.

allthefours I'm totally with you re the anxieties. I just can't seem to let myself feel positive at the moment. It's like if I do, then I'll jinx it so I'm making myself think of the worst case scenario to prepare.

Lauren is it bleeding heavily? any pain? I really hope it's not what we think it is.. Sending lots of hugs xxx

Thanks ladies. It's nice to have some extra support. We only told our family about the first mc they have no idea we lost another and hadn't said anything about this one either. Nothing worse than other peoples sympathy or the dreaded 'next time'. We only got married in April and so far our married life has been tainted by our loss. I think maybe DH will have lost his enthusiasm for making babies after this. I just feel sorry for him, I get his hopes up n then have to tell him it's not working out again. It would be easier if we couldn't get pregnant every time we try instead of just being pregnant for a couple if weeks.

No Hope it's not heavy just a bit, but that's how it's started before and I don't get major cramps till I bleed heavily. So as much as I like to wish it was just nothing I don't hold out much hope.

Oh ladies, so sorry to see so many of us having hard times.

lauren I'm so sorry to hear that. I have everything crossed for you.

tori it sounds like you have had a really tough day. Women who are at the same gestation you would have been are the absolute hardest. That's why I'm dreading this pregnant lady on holiday. Watching someone experience what you should be experiencing is just so painful. Do you see her everyday? Men just don't understand. Mine said 'you can't ban people from getting pregnant'. Which is true if not helpful.

english I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It really can't hurt going to the docs, I would. In fact if I don't get either a BFP or a positive opk in the next couple of months then I'm going. We've been through enough and deserve to be listened to.

treacle does your friend know how you feel?

brummie thinking of you if you're reading

Not much to report here. Cd5. Think there's a few of us at this stage?

She does Monten, the only other way she deals with it is completely ignoring me :/

Cd13 for me today. Fighting every urge to dtd as much as possible. Gah!

lauren & brummie I am so sorry to hear your news and I totally understand your heartbreak.

I'm devastated to say that I will be joining you ladies again. I had a mmc in April and I found out on Thursday my baby had stopped growing around 8weeks when I should have been 10.1 weeks. I had two scans at 6.6 and 8.1 and baby's heartbeat was strong and measuring spot on so I was actually starting to get excited about this pregnancy. I chose the surgery option this time and fingers crossed it has been much easier then the medically managed. I am 41 with two mmc in a row so I have asked for tests and the one positive is my hospital is happy to carry out tests due to my age. I have got to believe that I will get my baby one day although I am scared being a bit older!!!

Sorry to see you joining us Fergie.

I have no idea what's going on at the moment did another test this morning because I like to torment myself and it was so dark it was the same colour as the control line. So it's much darker than the one I did 2 days ago. I should just stop testing shouldn't I?

fergie so so sorry to see you back here. Gosh, we've had a lot of sad news recently. I'm glad your hospital has agreed to testing. Will they be doing karyotype testing? Be prepared to wait a while for the results, I am nine weeks on and still waiting. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, life is so unfair sometimes. You WILL get your baby. Most likely it is just the dreaded bad luck. Your body has gotten pregnant two times quick succession and it will do so again.

Lauren I'm not sure what the tests mean. I do know you can continue to go on producing hormones even if it is not a viable pregnancy. For your own sanity I would step away from the tests. Can you go and get blood tests at the hospital to see if they are rising as they should be? Fingers crossed for you.

Monten I've already had my first lot of bloods done have the second lot tomorrow so we shall see what's going on. Not had any bleeding today so who knows.

Hi Lauren and Fergie you are both in the multiple camp with me and its shit. I'm so sorry ladies. Hi Monten yes I'm reading, thanks for thinking of me.

I'm still so tired from the anaesthetic, but I agree with Fergie, surgically is easier - certainly physically as the pain and bleeding have practically stopped overnight. But the tears are still flowing. DP has just left for work - his first day back, and I cried at the thought of being without him.

I was so exhausted last night, but I couldn't sleep all I could think about was what had happened to me.

I'm angry at people last time (doctor, family friends) who said mc is so common a d statistically you've got a great chance of a healthy pregnancy second time round as you are really fertile. 2 miscarriages in 3 months? Well you were fucking wrong then weren't you???!!!!!!

And I just know people have said "better luck next time, try again, I'm sure it will be ok?" How do they know that?

The hospital stuff was just horrific, people examining you when you are bleeding, checking your sanitary pads to see how much you've bled, needles fucking everywhere including in my feet because the veins are collapsing in my arms,. My DP seeing stuff he should never have to see.

Sorry if tmi, I don't want to upset anyone - but how can I willingly put myself through that again?

I want a baby so much, my heart feels like its broken, I feel like my body is broken, people don't really want to talk to me about it because its all so personal isn't it? It's all a bit taboo really.

Sorry if just dumping all this - in absolutely floods of tears and feel so angry and cheated and broken and devastated.

I know I'm not the only one going through such a horrific time and I know this board is for people TTC'ing but it feels comforting and familiar so I hope you don't mind....

brummie I totally feel your pain and I feel exactly the same. I don't think anyone can say anything after two mc in a row and so close together. If you want to talk to someone please private message me x

When I arrived in the ward yesterday the student nurse asked me is there any chance you could be pregnant..WTF why don't you read my notes!!!! It's wasn't the first error made by hospital staff but definitely the worst question.

Oh Fergie I am so, so sorry.

Brummie I know I've only had one miscarriage but I do remember feeling exactly the same as you and had decided not to try again for a long time. Then after a few weeks I couldn't wait to start again.

When you said about people checking your sanitary towels and things it really reminded me of how bad it was. Sending you a big, big hug.
Just let it all out, we are here to listen and we all understand (to some extent at least) hoe you feel.

It is shit and I wish nobody had to go through this.

The problem with people saying "it'll be ok next time" is that they think they're helping. They're keeping you positive, offering a solution.
I found it was more for them than for me. It didn't help me. I just wanted to be allowed to feel shit without someone making me try to be positive.

And fergie I had the same with the stupid question. It's just thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Oh fergie I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so shit when you've had a scan and seen the heartbeat and things still go wrong. Look after yourself.

My heart goes out to everyone who's had more than one MC. It's so terribly unlucky and you're so brave for dealing with more than your fair share of bad luck.

I'm sorry so many of you have had such stupid and thoughtless questions or comments from medical professionals too. I work in the NHS and I am so conscious never to assume anything with my patients because you just never know.

Had my confirmation appointment with the nurse this morning and she was very good but did keep asking me if I was happy to be pg again. I was saying yes but my face was obviously not matching my answer. She was also keen to push the fact that many women have 1,2 or even 3 miscarriages before going on to have a health baby which is of course true and we all need to focus on that, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. She also booked me in with the MW and gave me a bounty pack at reception and I completely freaked out. I'd obviously thrown away my last one and I'm just so paranoid of jinxing myself. Like accepting the appointment and pack etc is somehow going to cause another MC. Ridiculous I know. DH unfortuantely took the brunt of my anxious/foul mood this morning after asking me how everything went.

Fergie I'm so sorry about your experience. I know what you mean, I had my 7w scan and heart beat is there bit dreading my next scan. To be honest anything is possible and after one mc the whole pregnancy gets tainted and the enjoyment is definitely gone. I really hope you get pg again and have a healthy baby in your arms soon.

It really has been a bad week so far on this board but we are all here for each other and the support here is incredible. We can't give up, I want to hear stories of healthy babies from all of you and maybe one day we can start a new thread of parenthood.

Lauren I really hope the bleeding is not what we think it is.. Please keep us updated and rest loads x