Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Wil I did in the end demand he took a break from it when it went to extra time (that's what recordable tv is for isn't it?!)

Morning viroids! Hope everyone had a nice weekend? I've been immersed in family stuff all weekend so didn't have time to post. Been lurking every now and then though.

kato so sorry the witch got you. Hope you're feeling more positive today. It's so hard to keep the faith month after month

lala Scotland sounds lovely. I've always wanted to go and visit Scotland, but I never seem to get round to it. Was the weather nice for the wedding?

7dpo here and nothing much to report symptom-wise.

All fears of not being able to find the new thread were unfounded by the awesome title. Formalities first:

BeforeIChangeMyMind
34
TTC since: April 14, mc May 14
1 DS

Currently in bed having spent all morning throwing up. Sadly not that sort of throwing up though. Plenty of time to read back while sipping a dyralite tho.

Kato I'm sorry it's been so crap for you. I found that contraband just added to the pressure with DS so have just passed mine on to someone super-keen to get tracking. Leaves me cold though. If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

Ooh LaLa I conceived DS in Scotland or soon after a trip there. Fx for you this month.

Otherwise... DH found a hair growing on my neck, then mum pointed out a chin hair last week. Am doomed :(

Oh Crikey - congratulations Pisgetti, I missed that! Hope you're feeling well :)

Thanks before. I'm feeling very well. It's terrifying me I'll be happier when I throw up - but maybe only the first time as the shine will wear off that super quick!

CommanderShepard
31
TTCish #DC2 since Julyish 2014

WHERE OH WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PERIOD
Seriously, viroids. It's a full calendar month since my implant was removed and no sign of it at all save for raging hormones. I'm not pregnant; I tested (I figure it was ok since I am 'late') and I don't feel pregnant at all whereas with DD I was absolutely unsurprised. FFS HURRY UP.

I'm really sorry Kato

commander stay calm. it can take a while for ur body to adjust to sorting its own hormones out. when I came off bcp I had 2 31day cycles then bled for 7weeks! after that it sorted itself out but still not regular 22 months on!

don't know who the person in my house who looks like my dh is, but whoever he is he's horny! we DTD twice this afternoon and that is unheard of!

Hi
New to MN and was attracted to you lot due to the shewee! Hope you don't mind if I jump on Fred with you!

Calli
Age: 33
TTC: Since May 14, BFP last Wed, but ERTD that evening.
No DCs

Hi callipy, sorry about your short lived BFP. Fx for a long lasting one soon. People are strangely attracted to the shewee.

Ooh lil happy shagging. Can't remember the last time we did it twice in 1 day.

Commander! I am also in the desperation room.. Day 88 and all hope has left the building grrrr

Welcome calli TTC is cruel sometimes. Wishing you lots of luck on the new fred

Way to go lil!

Welcome Calli, always nice to know the title brought some newbies around. Sorry mother nature was a bitch to you this month. Good luck for this thread.

Kato I'm sorry you're feeling so shit. Get rid of that red witch and party on later this thread.

Pis - congratulations - I'm very excited for you

La how was the wedding?

Commander - my periods were totally fucked up after I stopped the pill - cycles of 6, 3, 6 and 2 weeks before a BFP. Implant is bound to be worse.

In other news...I stopped the randomness that is spotting, got the period calculator last Fred out and realised I was a week late. POAS this morning and have had to wait until DH's all day meeting finished to tell him (and therefore you) that it has a line! A real one too, not one of those 'now you see it, now you don't' ones! Gulp!

Congratulations Chat!

Oh wow chat congratulations!!

Congratulations Chat fantastic news!

Happy Monday viroids. I'm trying with the zen thing again. Had some nausea and weird smells again. Massive mood swings at the weekend. DH doesn't know whether he's on this earth or Fullers with me! I cant seem to control myself :-(
Welcome calli and sorry to hear about your short lived bfp. Fx for a sticky bean for you.
I'm going to POAS on Friday if no witch. Not actually due til Sat but I'm out on a bender on Fri night and could do with getting pissed! might sort my shitty mood out

Aww fantastic news Chat. Congratulations!
Send me some luck this way xx

Congrats chat! Is that the first for this thread?

Hi calli!

Sympathise with the chin hair, also have a few odd ones. Just weird and really hate them slight obsession with checking for them

Congratulations chat!

Wow, congrats chat! Although not sure why you had to wait to tell us...

chat hooray! So it was implant bleeding, fanatic congratulations!!! Please let this be lucky Fred.

mini weather was excellent in Scotland, really warm! Am covered in midge bites coz wedding was under a tree

commander take a deep breath and try not to stress. Took 3 months for my cycle to come back after coming off and even then completely irregular. Try to distract yourself somehow rubbing upduffed bellies for luck perhaps or trying on new pairs of disco pants?

lil ooh that sounds like fun!

I'm being very good - capes been on every day so far.

calli welcome!!! Was it definitely ertd? Sorry to hear that
Love that the shewee is bringing people together

*fantastic

Actually really enjoying JSing this month, and Mr La is around for rest of week.

I had a look at my favourite selection of posts (apart from here ) AIBU earlier. Man that stuff cracks me up!

Congrats chat !! That's fab and welcome calli. Think it's round about icing time for me but dP fast asleep. I dunno, no commitment to the cause. Fingers crossed for all you twotters.

We used to do this thing where the upduffed ones of us would give their stats - days they dtd in the month they succeeded.

Pant snot seems to think I might have iced Friday which is odd coz it would be early, but I'm going to carry on JSing like I didn't. But if I did then I'm worried coz it would have been 4 days after I last dtd (stupid dh shifts!). We dtd the next morning though so I may still have chance.

Either way I still think it's too early, but pant snot disagrees! first I've heard of bodily fluids having bloody mind of it's own!