Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Eugh wil I know which ewcm pics you mean!

kato that evil uninvited witch! Sorry she got you
I think you were perfectly justified having a good sob. How are you feeling about her starting school?

before I think anything that helps so why not try it! The more relaxed you are surely must help.

I hope you gave him a slap callipy cheeky sod! Well done for getting cape on regardless.

Hi jelly! [waves] you're very organised with your ttc preparation! I'm over a year in and haven't done any of that . We have just started to put money away tho as I can only afford 6 months maternity leave just now.

Tbh you sound pretty sensible and like you've thought it through much more than many if my mates in their 30s! Tell these people to bog off!

commander hooray!!

chat I keep fish too - you'd still need tank big enough for surface area ratio to be large enough for oxygenate tank and to give fish enough space and enrichment. The 'starter' kits they sell on pets at home are treacly small and I always feel sorry for the poor things that end up in them :(. What type of fish were you thinking?

splodge which festival!?

lauren that's why it's torture!!!
I'm on last day of being allowed wine, I'm making most of it!

Do we have new Fred yet?!

Treacly small!?!?! Haha! Really!

Hi Jelly, I've been waiting for AF too since coming off the pill and it has finally arrived but we can't quite start yet. I've got an appointment tomorrow so fingers crossed they either give us the all clear or can get something else moving ASAP.

Welcome jelly! I also have two clown fish, a cleaner shrimp and some turbo snails!

Oooh this is turning into fish keeping Fred!

I have been singing 'get your cape on' all day lol my pts thinkII'm nuts. Def going to when dh gets home but clear blue contraband deep inner instinct says icing not happening after all :( hi jelly! I would like a period too! Although bfp would be much more preferable. It's been 116 days ...

Hi Jelly! Well impressed at your preparations! We should do something like that really she says as she finishes off her tandoori king prawn

Suspense...Fred nearly full...

Can we have conger attire in there some where? I bloody loved that.

Welcome jelly I like your prep style!

Hello viroids! I've been awol for the last few days, but just caught up with the fred.

sorry the witch got you kato. I've had many of those sobs, it's good to let it out every now and then. Hugs though, it is a horrible rollercoaster

before hypnotherapy is not something I've ever had experience of but, as Lala says, anything that is relaxing is worth a go. I'm quite intrigued by it after reading the link.

Hello jelly!

I achieved an ambition today. I finally bit the bullet and posted a new AIBU thread!

Hi Jelly, welcome.

Mini, I know what you mean about being intrigued by the hypnotherapy. I've used that lady's CD's before and found them helpful so I may well give it a go -£10 is cheaper than replacement sticks for an ov kit! Much more my .

Not buying until next cycle now though as the moment has passed - I have EVERYTHING crossed for August as we DTD the night before icing a smiley and on both smiley days.

Looking forward to seeing the new thread title now, not sure what that says about me but there you go!

Night all, am off to read Lala's AIBU thread.

Looking at a tropical tank (because they are prettier fish), but not sure yet - having just moved overseas, I need to talk to the team who will bring us back as to how they would go about moving the fishes...nothing straightforward! I used to work in a pet shop as a teen and still remember a surprising amount about animal care and horse worming

Very excited about the new Fred too - and La's AIBU

Hahahaha La what's your AIBU???? Are you getting roasted?!

Ooh yes I do love tropical fish. Much more colourful. I used to work as a vet assistant in my teens and can still squeeze anal glands like a pro! strange talents

Nope!

la you chose a winner aibu. I want to go and post yabu in there, but I think I'd get roasted :)

To a crisp dottie

Had my Gynaecologist appointment today. She was as confused as I was as to why I was sent there (and she has a terrifying office with one of those stirrup chair contraptions you see on US drama shows involving pregnancy or childbirth) but she's given me Folic acid and hopes to get us an appointment with the geneticist ASAP. She didn't at all mind my googling and seemed to appreciate the list of questions and info that I came armed with :)

DH is a bit "ugh I can't believe we have to wait 2 months" because I told him I'm supposed to take folic acid for 2 months before starting. Not sure why he's being so grumpy about it, but he had just woken up. I'm finding it a bit frustrating that he's being grumpy about every time we have to wait when I asked him a while ago if he wanted to see a geneticist in advance. I mean, that would have been more sensible? Get all of the information way before we actually wanted it and then go ahead. But no, now he's decided he's ready now he wants to start now.

heads over to AIBU before even replying to the fred properly!

You should take it with a pinch of salt!

Such a nice welcome :) Thanks everyone! We are trying to be organised, we don't want to get into a position where we can't cope, plus we both want to be healthier so operation fake baby starts on the 25 August! :D

Loving the fish love by the way! They are a very relaxing hobby, and my friends baby absolutly loves the lights on the tank!

I'm bleeding guessing its ERTD but I'm only on CD22 so it's nearly a week early

Maybe I'm not bleeding after all! There was some on a tissue when I wiped (tmi) but no more? Really hoping this is not the start of AF so early. Think I would rather have the twot!

Implantation bleed? I'll get my hooya coat

Chat I'm trying so hard not to get excited about it I haven't googled implantation bleeding honest . I'm 8 days post ovulation and 6 days before AF due. It's probably just AF early though, can't imagine my body settling down this quick after having coil removed!