Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

lala is it obvious which is yours or am I going to have to search through every thread on AIBU because I don't think I have time for that at work ?

Let's just say I really miss Tubes and Ringos!

I couldn't find it lala. Became distracted by other AIBU and then they expected me to do my bloody job here. Idiots. Will try again.

Uh oh lauren... we will all be claiming implantation now! How are you feeling? Can we help you symptom spot?!

Non-TTC related questions, not brave enough for AIBU or WWYD, you viroids are much kinder. So, been invited to a wedding next month. Evening only, confirmed attendance, looking forward to it. Next month is also DH 30th birthday. He emailed me yesterday with a link to something he would like to do. He never asks for anything for his birthday so I look into it and, of course, it is the same evening as the wedding. He doesn't know the girl getting married as its someone I work with. He was still invited. I want to take him to the thing he wants to do for his birthday but have already agreed to go to the wedding. WWYD?? Don't want to upset anyone!

Link here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2156808-To-wish-that-they-would-bring-Ringos-and-Tubes-crisps-back?

dulcet I would apologise and tell the truth. It's early enough that they will be able to cancel your place without being charged.

Where's tabby? We're dangerously close to the end of the Fred...

I would tell them dulcet! If its evening only they shouldn't lose much money if any at all!

Symptom spotting. I couldn't stop weeing yesterday, was in an awful mood last night. Today just some weird non achey cramps just before lunch. No spotting or bleeding since this morning.

Of course all of these could just be because I've drank more water and I'm a moody cow it's DPs birthday Thursday. Am I allowed to POAS then (without telling him incase it's negative) or is that too soon? AF is due Monday.

I should do the thing he wants to do, shouldn't I? Bless him. He's had a tough year too and really he never asks for anything. Plus, we have had to cancel plans twice for weddings before. Missed out seeing Blink 182 one time!

Thanks lala, could not find that and ended up talking about christmas. Interestingly, that is the second crisps one in there!

Mine's the same dulcet, he has had to take so much time off for weddings as he works weekends I feel guilty he never gets to do things he likes. I would just explain to them and say you're very sorry.

Alternatively you could make something up...like surprise party for a family member you only just found out about.

PS I changed name due to fear of being outed as it's a name I've used before. You can still call me La though!

PPS: Lauren I think too early to test but fx for a bfp!!

Most people have a reserve list dulcet - when friends couldn't make it to our wedding we just invited someone else instead. Talk to your work friend then take your DH out :)

Before we get to the end of the Fred can we have a quick summary? Who is upduffed and who got their bfp this Fred?

I've lost track of where I am this cycle (I usually feel when I'm icing but didn't this month). I think I'm in TWOT but not finding it tortureous - I'm counting myself out this month as I'm pretty sure we didn't dtd at the right time :(

Purple and I have both had BFPs and miscarried.
Tabby and Luna are newly upduffed.
RPopz, Zyla and Pis are not-so-newly upduffed
Zing went pop!
I'm sure I've missed some (sorry) - action-packed Fred

Trying to muster up happiness for the bleddy Tian Tian Panda at Edinburgh Zoo's BFP...

Jealous

Hello lovely viroids... Where's the new fred 27??

Tabby are you in the hot seat??

x

Bloody pandas in Edinburgh - I'm not a fan! Poor things.

Perhaps someone else should do new Fred, as it looks like Tabby might not be back in time?

chat do you fancy the honours?

I'm in my TWOT. Fx for everyone else in the same boat.

Were at 990! Should we stop posting? .

Nah, let's fill her up. Tian Tian's pregnant you say? Well, now EVERYBODY is. Huff.

Tabby...where's the new Fred???

Laura if it's weeing and tiny spotting perhaps it's a uti? Not very exciting, sorry...

Dulce you can totally not go to an evening do. Some people rsvpd yes to ours and then didn't even bother to turn up anyway! But I think most people accept the night do as being more cassssh anyway xx

La I'm totes disappointed - thought it was going to be juicy!!

Haha.. the bloody panda Maybe she should do the new Fred!!

Oh popz, coming in here with your UTI logic! You know we like to encourage implantation crazies!

Seriously, even the bloody panda got upduffed?! Bet she didn't have to have continuous sweaty sex. Eurgh. Can you tell its DTD night? Really looking forward to it.

Thanks for your support re. Wedding guys. I know its ok to bail really. Just need to tell her and hope she doesn't hate me!

Operation fill up thread: nearing completion!

It's definitely not a uti popz. I thought it was the start of AF this morning then it just vanished!

YABcompletelyU. Tubes are rank.

I can no longer associate with you wil YABVVVU!!! ;) tubes rock!

stop posting. I'm doing new thread

Symptom spot away!!!! Hooray for crazy symptom spotting!

Where's the new Fred?