Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

RP

I'm due next Tuesday.
I had one ELSC already with DS4 (footling breech) so can't be induced - just seen consultant at hospital and booked 28th for ELSC, just in case baby doesn't come naturally (meaning either waters break or contractions start)

it's nice to have a date we know baby will definitely be out by. it motivates me to pack bags.
well, if looking at boxes of baby clothes counts, that is!

but it also scares me a bit, 2 & half weeks max is hardly any time and I'm just nowhere near ready mentally or practically.
Plus kids break up from school on 23rd, so I would actually prefer baby to come after that.

I think we have names sorted, cot is ready and I bought precisely one pack of newborn nappies.
not quite the mad preparation we went through for weeks before DS1 was born!

I wish you all lots of relaxed, possibly fuelled shagging this weekend.
and for a very limited time you are all still welcome to rub my massive belly for good luck!

Hello all, just wanted to say the month that I fell pregnant but my friend also fell pregnant, we celebrated her birthday in her usual style (I don't drink) she got absolutely wasted it was rather funny!

Any who, she and her babies (yes 3, but now 2 due to absolutely nothing to do with drinking but ttts) are fine!

Triplets cookie???? Crikey. Sorry to hear one didn't make it.

Two weeks is scarily close Zing!

Yes triplets, it was amazing! She also had absolutely no symptoms and thought when she went to the scan that there would be nothing there and there was three. Identical twins and a singleton! But she had ttts (twin to twin transfusion syndrome) and one just couldn't make it :(

What a shame. Natural triplets though.... what are the odds of that. Crazy.

Quiet in here tonight!

Natural triplets is 1 in 8100, natural identical twins is 1 in 250!

Very quiet in here!

Im here!

zing great to hear you have a definite date! Very excited for you.

DP has tooth ache so he's gone fishing. I don't need to put my cape on as I'm twotting but I was hoping for some shagging without intent.
So I might eat cheese in bed or something equally reckless.

zing! Good luck! So exciting, fx for safe delivery and looking forward to hearing from you.

I'm being pretty well behaved xx

What's the odds of fraternal twins cookie? I'm still holding out hope that's why I'm so fat couldn't possibly be down to chocolate, cheese and chips.

I have not told my DH about the new fred title, as he just wouldn't understand and explaining would take too long!

Do not continue reading if grossed out easily!
My body is being weird. Last ERTD started on June 24th. The last few days I have had a crumbly sort of discharge and today a bit of blood. Discharge is usually a bit crumble right before ERTD, but not as crumbly as this. Is it another ERTD?

What's the odds of fraternal twins cookie? I'm still holding out hope that's why I'm so fat couldn't possibly be down to chocolate, cheese and chips.

sorry don't know why that sent twice. Is it enough blood for ERTD Fatty?

wilma, no, there has been very little blood so far, but ERTD usually starts a bit slow for me. Maybe tomorrow there will be more blood or none. I dunno what is going on, I'm on cd18. That is too short for a cycle!

Well I'm glad to hear others are going with the ' few drinks before bfp' rule. I've really tried stopping all together, but mjust so many weddings/parties this year! And I'm on day 85 of a stupid cycke/. I think a good every now and then is all that's keeping me sane!

patiently that is very long! I still drink from time to time, but I never drank much so it isn't hard for me not too. I quit smoking recently as well and am doing good on that as well. My main weaknesses are cheeses, raw(ish) meat and things with raw eggs...

Oh the three 'C's of delight there wil! Guaranteed to make you happier and fattier!

Could it be implantation fatty? Not to get the hopes up...

dulcet, that would be awesome. I got to hold a newborn today and it has made me extra broody!

fatty could it be implant bleed?

patiently when did you stop pill? Took 3 months for me to get ertd after that

Morning Viroids! Great new thread.

My Stats:
Chat, 32
TTC number two all year
DC: DD 2.10 and a overly anxious tabby friend
MC March 2014

La, I cut down a little on the wine front - from sharing three bottles a week with DH to one glass twice a week and sharing a bottle on Sat. Helps that he's just not here very much I guess! I allow myself one glass a week in pregnancy. DD was conceived on either NYE or NYD and that, coupled with our annual work dinner in mid Jan meant the poor bean was pickled before I knew about her. Her only problem is being a crappy sleeper but I blame DH for that, he was terrible until he was five!

I'm due..tiny bit of brown spotting yesterday. This has been implantation in the past and ERTD pissing me about last month so who knows what's going on

Morning viroids!

Ooh could we have 2 lots of implantation on this Fred? All very exciting.

What are we all up to today?

Yeah that is a bit short Fatty. fx for implantation bleed.

I'm having a post-holiday lazy day today. Pretty knackered.

Also meant to say that giving up drinking is so much easier second time around. You get so used to not drinking your habits totally change. I definitely had so moments during first pg where I was desperate to crack open a bottle.

wil omg natural fraternal twins is 1 in 60!

Although I am not sure size has anything to do with it my friend although was a bit bigger than me in the beginning is actually smaller than me now! She has a petit frame though and I am measuring huge

Yeah I suspect it's just because I'm out of shape. Was so lovely and petite last time. Still 1 in 60 isn't too remote, here's hoping . MrWil would freak (we'd also probably have to sell up and live in a box).

Thanks for good wishes!

fatty

I agree it could be implantation blood. especially if you have period like dull aches at the same time (could go on for days!)

isn't it funny/weird/confusing how period pain-type aches & cramps can mean you have
a, not concieved
b, you have concieved
c, you are dilating very slowlyand you might start in the next 1-42 days
d, labour has actually started?

(or you just have a tummy bug... )

I mean obviously all those things effect the same place, but still.
it should be colour coded or something