Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

oh and day 18 of cycle is prime time for implantation bleed, for a normal healthy cycle that is bang on!

so exciting!

Its nature's cruelest trickery isn't it Zing My worst ever period pains were actually a baby! Haha! x

Well, I got my cape of yesterday incase it is icing. If it is implantation, I will let you all know as soon as I have a bfp.

Right, going to sit in the lovely sunshine now!

Hope you're all having a good weekend - lovely weather here! Have a child free day as friend has taken DD out, blissfully quiet in the house as DH also out...remind me why I want to go through the crying baby stage again?!

I have got a little bit of sunburn. I was slathering on factor 30 at regular intervals too.
We put the dogs in a dog show today. Neither of them even placed so we feel robbed.

Had the cape on earlier but I was a but crap cos I did my morning work out furiously and my thighs hurt.

Also it feels as if my cervix is very low because sex has been slightly uncomfortable, painful even these past few days. What's that all about?

Ovulating gaggia? Mother nature's genius way of stopping you wanting sex at prime conceiving time!! (For me anyway ).

Name lil
Ttc 20 months (oh god really?!)
Dcs none (still)

be back soon!

Hello new Fred

Splodge77
Age 37
TTC since April 14
1 DS 3.6

Cat just brought a live mouse in ugh! He looked so proud. We chased him back outside & made him drop it. Poor catty.

couldbe

I've been up all night with twinges, sharp pinching and dull aches.
at some point I thought my waters broke.
yet fuck all. again.

why do you want to go through it again?
just coz you do. it's a desire that is hard to squash down. or simply impossible to ignore.

why do I want to go through it for the 7th time?????
I forgot....

But if this last pg hadn't been so difficult I would consider do it again. just one more time....

Oh yessss, the low cervix at the prime time of month stage.
Yes I remember it well..

Mother bastard nature indeed.

Oh Zing you sound fed up and ready to pop! Even the pros don't find this pg lark easy. Hope it all happens soon for you. Have you found each birth has got easier or doesn't it work like that?

Anyone else wondering whether Kato and purple have news?

I've never before been so interested in someone else's cycles!

I thought Purple wasn't testing until next weekend but might be wrong. Surely Kato is bound to have invoked the law of sod by receiving all her contraband?!

Whoop de fucking doop.

Look! AF is here! Isn't that BRILLIANT?

I'm ducking scunnered, and there's no way I'm peddling my piss to clear blue as from tomorrow. The box is going BACK.

Fucking!

Oh no kato, why you not doing it?! Sorry about AF. Treats to help you get through it?

DH found a hair on my chin yesterday min. An actual hair growing out of a mole under my chin. I am devastated!

Because I feel utterly battered, and feel like an inadequate twat, without the indignity of pissing all over my fingers every morning.

I'm probably just in a terrible mood everyone, forgive me

Oh kato, sorry you feel so shit. Box it up and send it back if you aren't feeling it - no point stressing yourself out if you don't need to. Hope you have something nice to look forward and cheer you up at least.

hi everyone! I've finally caught up after my mad week leading up to best friends wedding. she is finally off on honeymoon today so now I get a rest!

hi to patiently, hugs to kato

zing I can't believe you are about to pop that sprog! I've been here waaaayyyy too long if that's the case! come here and let me get a good ole belly rub!

can't be arsed with ttc right now. cd9 today so need to go and find Dh and his not so awesome penis, but I can't be arsed. think I'll just do some knitting for my neice who is due to arrive into the world in about 4 weeks!

I'm not due AF til,next weekend so no POAS til Sat.
Symptoms seem to have waned so I've been drinking this weekend. I'm starting to think I will never get preg. It really gets me down sometimes.
Hugs Kato, you send the box back if you don't want to do it

Hugs to both purple and kato. Sorry you both feel a bit down. If it's any consolation I appear to be surrounded by upduffed friends and newborn babies...well two of the first (one a very accidental 3rd) and one of the second but that's enough to get me broody as hell! Cape firmly on but apparently I have to wait for the World Cup to finish. PRIORITIES???!!!!

Could the match is really dull. Surely other half would like it spiced up a little? You could let him keep it on mute in the background .

Sorry you're feeling shit Kato and Purple and .

lil give my belly a rub too... It's proper gurgling!
dulcet.. Oh god, chin hairs! I've got those weird nose hairs which just won't tuck in. Mortified.

Morning viroids!

Have been at wedding in Scotland all weekend but was lurking and keeping up with your news.

Was lovely - I met a girl who just had a baby after trying for year like me. She was wonderfully positive and kind, it was really nice to have someone to talk to

zing good luck!!! So so exciting!
Hang on - seventh time? Omg!

min chin hair, seriously? weirdly intrigued by potential option to grow full beard

kato sorry about witch, it's so disheartening sometimes. Have some wine it'll make it better.

Another friend who always said she didn't want children just announced she's upduffed. Pleased for her but selfishly also having grumble about unfairness of stupid order of life.

Cape was on all weekend and Mr La's penis was on particularly awesome form perhaps inspired by home country?

Too early for icing I think so these were just for fun!

Have a good day all

Ah sorry Kato but you had pretty much written off this month based on timing?

I have a single thick black hair that grows from my cheek. I often forget to pluck it until it starts tickling me. How DP finds the courage to do me I'll never know.....