Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Hey popz we were talking about my friend who has recently announced she was pregnant and he asked about why people wait and than came out with that! I don't think he knows...

Three different online calculators put the due date on his 14th birthday he was two weeks late though so who knows. He predates the practice of doing sweeps on overdue women!

Right - I've got dilemma, please help me lovely viroids! I'm obviously desperate to conceive and using ultimate contraband this month.

I normally like a drink - I don't binge but I have a small glass of wine 5 nights a week, it's kind of my treat. On a Sunday me and mr la share a bottle of wine as it's the only day we spend together and so it's like date night.

Since ttc I've tried to keep my life as normal as possible to not be too much under pressure and minimise stress as obviously that's bad. So I still ride my horse and still have a drink. I didn't want to put my life on hold and pile on the pressure, as I didn't think that was good when ttc and you get all the stories of people saying 'it's fine! I found out I was pregnant after

Oh I should point out I no longer have a glass every night! That was before ttc. Now I have about probably a bottle a week

I'm probably not a great example! Although thinking about it.... I did drink less than usual at glastonbury. Not intentionally but I wasn't getting started until quite late in the day and I just didn't fancy it as much. But when I say I didn't drink as much as usual, I still wasn't a shining example of motherhood. I probably did the equivalent of a bottle and a half of wine in a few hours on the Saturday but that was as bad as it got.

just a quick post to say hello and congrats on any new BFPs I missed!

39 weeks now so last NC.

sorry I don't post often, but I always think of you and sending positive vibes.
hope everyone is ok, big hugs to all who need it.

lala after trying for 15 months, finally managed it when I got abso frigging lutley plastered on a night out, Sod's law eh.
Nowt wrong with just living life in the meantime. Not helpful tho. ;)

lala it'll be fine! don't forget that even if you do conceive it won't take anything from you at the start anyway. I'd say relax :)

hello you mad birds fanks for the new fred - marvellous title!!

Name: Aylesbury duck
Age: 40
TTC : #1 since Nov 2013

welcome patiently and good luck zing

Love the title!

AF due tomorrow assuming another 26day cycle. Convinced I missed my window, have zero symptoms and a big brown box full of ultimate contraband to start using when she does appear!

La I'm going to be one of those annoying people that says they did "give up" drinking (apart from emergencies - kept it to the bare minimum at least, so maybe once a month - usually in AF time) but the one time I thought fuck it I'm having a massive red wine blow out with the mil... was two days before my bfp. Whoops. Maybe just cut out the drinking at home. But def still enjoy yourself at the weddings etc. You can't put life on hold like you say xx

Hey hey Zing!! When's kaboom date??? x

lala - I would agree with not stopping your life while TTC, you don't know how long it will take and could miss out on a lot of things if you say no for TTC.

It's a fact that excessive alcohol does negatively impact your health and your fertility but if you are drinking sensibly then don't stop on basis of TTC.

On the flip side of my own post, after reading popz, I should confess that I am going to try some clean living for next few cycles. Don't drink anyway but diet, vitamins and acupuncture so I am at the stage of changing lifestyle.

But don't feel you have to!

Lala I'm pretty anti drinking in pg but I agree with zyla. It's different once the placenta is up and running but at that stage I would assume not to worry (obviously not based on actual medical knowledge). Plus you ice pretty late don't you? So chances are conception wouldn't have even happened by cd13. You've already altered your lifestyle to be sensible, you can't give your life over to a what if - in my opinion anyway. I say enjoy yourself

Morning Viroids,

I feel hungover this morning which is a monstrous injustice. Must be all this talk of wine drinking

lala I cut down my drinking (I had been a pretty heavy frequent drinker) but didn't actually stop till the day I got the BPF. I remember barely a few days before being out with friends, two bottles of wine and much drunken embarrassment later and thinking "Well I hope I've not fallen this month, I'll have pickled the baby" I also drank throughout my pregnancy, no more than a glass a week. This time round I've already cut down to a glass a week, it's just not worth the risk, we suffered complications at the end of the pregnancy that a cause wasn't ever found for so we're going to be super careful this time.

lol pis pretty sure that's the pregnancy hormones rather than the talk of wine! Get ye some Ginger sweets or cordial, it'll really help with settling your stomach and drink plenty of water.

I do need to remember to bring water into work with me. I would normally have sunk my second coffee by now but I'm trying to cut back.

Anyway - positivity - I'm seeing DP tonight for the first time since we had it confirmed, I'll be seeing some of my nearest and dearest friends at the weekend for my housewarming and it is Friday!

Thanks everyone! I'll be moderate drinker this weekend then be healthy for rest of month.

pis enjoy seeing your dp :)

Obvs I love the new Fred title but just wondering whether our she wees and piss hats will pull in as many new peeps as the full moon unicorn and disco pants?!

Well the she-wee attracted Patiently

I think curiosity might attract a few to find out what us weirdos are yabbering on about!

I've been drinking as normal whilst TTC but this month I haven't because I've had a few symptoms.
I won't find out til next weekend if I am or not. We've got friends coming to stay this weekend and I don't know whether to have a drink or not.
I quite fancy one because I've not had a great week but I've had a headache for 10 days and I think drink makes them worse

Hi patiently welcome!

I've been boozing as normal. Im not a big drinker but do enjoy a prosecco or three.

I've been drinking more or less as usual too, just keeping to a couple of drinks (not getting drunk) in the twot. I'd like to have a couple of sober months to see if it makes a difference (and hopefully help me drop a few pounds) but it's so blooming difficult with social stuff - always a birthday to go to etc.