Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I'm 99% sure we can get it done through insurance, it's just a 6 month wait or trying to persuade our doctor to refer!

Oh . How frustrating for you both.

Kato are you out there? I've just laughed out loud at your post on another thread about penis operated trains. I would say I didn't believe that thread was real but MIL once told me there was no point walking down an aisle in a toy shop because it was all 'boy toys' , so you never know.

Thanks Lil, I think you may have a point there as I have right-sided ov pain and also close-as-darn-it EWCM. DH has been informed that his presence is required this evening :)

Bertie I don't have anything useful to say about your circumstances but I don't want to ignore what you're dealing with - goodness knows, it's hard enough ttc without having to negotiate genetic testing in another country. I hope you get all the information you need to make the choices that are best for you.

No JSing for me tonight, mr tee is out with his bbf, so I am typing this from my new bath, complete with bath bomb and a little glass of wine. Trying to ignore the millions of unpacked boxes downstairs. chat how did your move go? We pick up our cats tomorrow, I've missed them so much, but kitties and wet paint don't mix at all..

Hi again all. I've had a bit of a self enforced break recently -after a bit of a break down which involved having a mahoosive 2yearold type stop, shouting at all my loved ones and then taking to my bed crying for 3days- things got a bit on top of me.
I have missed so much! Congrats to Luna and tabby, purple and chat my sincere love to you both. Bertie, I can't b begin to think how frustrating all this must be for you xx

So now. I am ignoring the fact its CD 114 -and I'm still not icing- and getting my disco pants on... Dh better watch out

Welcome back patiently if it makes you feel any better I'm on cd20 and no icing either.....even with my 5 weekers, it's late...huff!

patiently I have a female black cat and a male tabby. The black cat liked to wonder the house while DP was painting when we moved last year. Our once all-over black cat had a white-tipped tail and whiskers. Especially her paws. A lot on her paws. Mainly because she became obsessed with stealing DP's paintbrushes (little ones for around edges) and batting them around the house...

Had my cape on tonight. It's hard to resist saying "Darling I am ovulating. Now I have got you in the mood let us to bed!"

lady yes! we have an all black Egyptian Mau, and I think he's going to to look like a Dalmatian.....
Had a bit of an unfortunate incident with my Bengal when she was a kitten, was dying hair in bathroom and she likes to be involved. I accidentally dripped blue black hair colour on her back, so she had an extra spot for weeks. Whoops.

We're getting settled in thanks tee, lots of Belgian boxes to tick, and even more to unpack. Finally got my dad sorted with Skype, so chatted to him yesterday...just my mum to go - that'll be fun!

Nice to have you back, patiently.

I understand, Bertie. In the absence of records, then a karyotype is the way forward, genetics should be able to shed some light on things for you. Fingers crossed they will.

well the witch has arrived bang on time. onto cycle 19â?¦ month 22.

Lil - sorry to hear that, go treat yourself to cheese and wine. That's just reminded me I have some stilton to finish before the witch disappears

Bertie - I had to hold off ttc for 3/4 years because I have a genetic condition. I've known since I was diagnosed I could pass it on to my kids (there's nothing I can do about that apart from cross my fingers), but for me the wait has been more about controlling my condition so it's safe for me to be pregnant, but with meds that are unlikely to harm the child. It's been a massive big balancing act trying new meds out, but it seems the ones that control it better are the ones that aren't so safe for baby. Luckily we think we've found one with what we hope will be a happy medium. Again with the finger crossing. It was SO frustrating and depressing having to wait to start ttc, and I can't imagine what it's like trying to negotiate a different health system/language. You'll get there though. PS - I don't know if this would relate to your circumstances but some people have told me I shouldn't have children because I could pass it on/couldn't keep my children safe because I'm disabled - if you hear ANY of that shit ignore it with your life. They are assholes who know nothing.

Oh callipy, I can't believe people say that shit to you! Hope it all works out for you .

people are idiots. don't they realise a CHANCE of passing it on also means there is a CHANCE you won't! if you go on that line people shouldn't have ivf because some evidence suggests infertility is passed on. again idiots! say it with me...IDIOTS!

I want to join in lil and callipy - my dp has a genetic condition which has a chance of being passed on. Doesn't effect mortality if it does, but it does involve a lot of hospital in the first two decades of life.

We want our child to be ours as much as they can be. If it means there's a chance they get his condition - well, this world will benefit from the variety.

claps well said!

my sil has an auto immune condition and is due to have her second child next Monday. my dn if an absolute darling and fortunately didn't inherit any issues because if her condition. all looks OK for baby 2 so far but next week we'll see! I have to laugh at the irony that they have 2kids (my bro lost a testicle as s teenager too) when we are both healthy and better off financially and can't bloody conceive!

and to add to the blow of the witch arriving and gearing up for the birth if my niece in a week today he brought a birth announcement via fb. good times

Quite - I have an inherited condition too, I'm not badly affected and live my life with only small concessions to it. There's a 50/50 chance I'll pass it on, and some chance any affected offspring will be worse off than me. I thought long and hard before starting a family. Would I terminate for my condition? Not a chance - IDIOTS

I'm impatient as well because DS is nearly 6 now and because I had him so young I am anxious to get started on the next one ASAP, we want 2 more (not sure this is exactly wise but oh well! ) and I want some free time when we're in our 50s when they're all grown up and independent. I already sacrificed my 20s, damnit!

I really hope DH isn't thinking that kind of thing about passing it on. I wouldn't want him to.

Hi viroids, how are you all?

I have had a busy couple of days, no time for mumsnet... And I have been lightheaded for a couple of days as well, really frustrating!

Hi all of you!

Been reading through all your posts, hugs to you all as it sounds like you've all got a lot going on.

patiently sorry to hear you've been having a rough time

lil sorry about the rude sodding witch. Fx this next month is good to you. I totally sympathise about the announcements on Facebook and the unfairness watching others get pg when you know you're ready for one and it's not happening.

Have you noticed Fred is almost full? Who's doing next one? One of the newly upduffed with bfp this Fred? Who have we had? Tabby, luna?
Lots of fodder for Fred title - I'm rooting for wank badger to make an appearance!!!

Meant to say gaggia i don't think pink after dtd is anything to worry about. You might just have been a bit vigorous and torn a little.

Sil messages me this morning coz she's about to start ttc and wanted to know about contraband. If she gets upduffed before me I think it'll finish me off!!!

I'm enjoying last day of booze, blue cheese and all things that taste nice. Going all out from tomorrow determined this is my month!

Thanks La
I can also sympathise with the 'Facebook joy' .. Found out 2 days ago that my sister is pregnant..she stopped BC 2 months ago and wanted to get upduffed in about a year. Seriously her dh must have super sperm, they only had sex once. Once!! Seriously not fair. Oh and she only stopped BC early because it is taking me so long to get a normal cycle back! Desperately trying to be excited about being an aunty, but struggling a bit with the green eyes

Can we have buck rogers sex kit in Fred title too?

Oh patiently, that is particularly difficult! Is she understanding about it?

Are you going to pass in your knowledge lala? It could be nice to have someone close trying at the same time, but agree that will be even more hard if she's an instidiffer!