Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

We haven't started trying, this is the issue! DH knows he has a thing (translocated chromosome) but we don't know which chromosome(s) and I wanted to find out what the potential effects would be on any pregnancy and/or baby before we started trying. But it seems this is not the done way and you're supposed to try for 12 months before they do anything. The only situation other than this seems to be if you have another child or a close relative with a hereditary condition, like Cystic Fibrosis for example. I have a child from a previous relationship, no problems with the pregnancy or getting pregnant last time so I'm not worried about me.

I'm finding it a bit frustrating because all I want to know really is is there a higher risk of birth defects and can these be tested for. My worst nightmare would be finding that there was a problem causing stillbirth, life limiting conditions and/or extremely low quality of life but not finding out until later on. If we have higher chances then I want to know so we can do tests early on, I know that a termination would be upsetting but less so than stillbirth. If they can't test then OK, we'll have to make the decision from there, but I feel like it's irresponsible going into it without knowing. DH wants to just start trying but that's more because he's afraid they're going to tell him he can't make babies at all. I don't think that's likely, from what research I've done but what else happens all hangs on which chromosomes he has a problem with. He has agreed to have tests, though. We can self-refer to a geneticist, but there's a six month wait unless we go through the Hausarzt (closest thing to a GP). Next time I think I'm going to go armed with either print outs of research or at least a script.

oh Bertie what a stressful situation. why is it so hard to do the right thing! could you try emailing a specialist and asking for advice? they may be able to point u in the right direction without the waiting?

Congratulations Tabby!
Empty house for us too tonight but witch still present. Cow.
Cheers for info about LP - had no idea! This month will be my first (and fx last) with contraband.
Lol at crotch watch Kato - hope she doesn't rear her mingin face.

bertie that sounds like a lot to get your head round :( I think if u were you I'd ask to see doc to discuss options regardless of not starting ttc yet.

lil I feel like Luke to your Yoda! Glad you're impressed - I did my research! You're right about lack of knowledge. I'm a scientist and tried to get papers on luteal defects. Only research popping up easily is by alternative medicine practitioners. Will need to delve deeper. Also boots lady had no idea and they don't stock b6 in 50mg only 10mg. I was nearly crying on the shop.

also I still temp every day that's how I knew it was not my month and af was coming as I dipped below cover line

kato fx for tan bfp!

Good luck to all the shaggers! Get your buzzy pals involved, I dare you!

Language barrier is an issue too. Although the doctor speaks English I don't think she understood when I said DH has a translocated chromosome and we want tests for him, which is why she started going on about tests for me. I will be more prepared this time. I've been really cautious about upsetting DH because he's been quite emotional about it and I didn't want to take over in the appointment, so was being sort of vague and hinty but he just sat there and let me do the talking and then complained that he'd taken half a day off for an appointment where nothing happened! I suppose that's just lack of communication but the idea of going for an appointment was so that we could ask her advice about how best to proceed, whether tests were necessary (I've heard you can skip the tests and have a CVS in early pregnancy instead, for example, but I don't know what that involves or whether they offer it unless you have risk factors - these are the kinds of things I want to find out!) and instead she just dismissed all of that and started asking when I last had a vaccination

Not sure the Gynae is going to be able to tell me anything except the fact I have a retroverted (tilted) uterus which I already know and which causes no problems except for my cervix being in a slightly odd place. But I need a smear anyway so may as well go, and it should keep the doctor happy for when I go in with my list of questions!

Sorry Bertie but I've missed what country you're in? Here the midwives offer genetic counselling, can you ask if they have a similar service? Totally understand your reservations with mc risk etc and must be extra hard with the language barrier. I wonder if there is someone on MN who works in the field who could give you a rundown on the basics at least, there is bound to be someone who is a geneticist or knowledgeable doctor/midwife. Or maybe try the Rare Chromosome Disorder organisation?

Fx for your crotch watch kato

bertie that sounds stressful, wish you luck with your next appointment.

My stats aren't very impressive! Dtd cd8, 10, 12, 15, 22. That's it. Got all crazyass on dh when he refused to js on cd14... And bought slinky new underwear which hopefully won't fit for long.

Symptoms: big boobs but not sore, bloating (got offered a seat on the tube last week ) , sensitive sense of smell (saw an ex colleague in the street yesterday and after hugging could smell her perfume on me all afternoon).

We're in JSing mode. Cape and disco pants are out, dust blown off, feel I need to reconnect with DH if that makes sense.
Caught up with a couple of good friends today who I've not seen for a while. Did me good to chat about it all. Sometimes all a girl needs is her posse

tabby yaaaaaaaaaay! Thats a beautiful line! Congrats!

so true purple sometimes only a girlfriend can truly give u what you need, even if its just an ear. hope the cape action makes you feel a bit better. I get where you are coming from on the reconnection front. when we could barely have sex a few years back I felt like I'd lost a connection with dh. so glad that chapter is closed! we've certainly made up for list time since ttc!

tabby I think I'd quickly overlook the reason if I was offered a seat on the tube. I don't do standing!

la its shit how difficult these things are to research. at least u have some idea where to start looking at these things. annoying about the b6. how much is in the pregnacare? I bet u could get 50mg on Amazon?

Totally got jumped by a randy Mr Tee when I got in from work, it was daylight and I'm sure the neighbours heard because they were getting a tesco delivery in while we were... Facilitating another delivery.....

Contraband is giving me a blank still, which figures... We have three days off now so I'm hoping I get a smiley face.

Yay for re-cape purple :) xx

Morning!

Well done for cape action purple! I hope you and Mr Purple had some time to yourselves last night. Reconnecting after something awful has happened is so important.

Know what you mean about speaking to girl mates. I struggle at work all my friends left over the past year and we moved to this town from Scotland for job so outside work I don't know many folk. This week was hard as work was full in but all I wanted to do was curl up and mope. Went to catch up with two girls from work yesterday and told them about my frustration ttc and they were lovely. I got a message later saying she was here to chat whenever needed.

Going for lunch today which I'm looking forward to as it's with a couple of girls I've not seen in ages. Hooray!

Some crazy ass weather meant to be hitting us tomorrow.

lil pregnacare is stupidly dear but boots do a cheaper version with 10mg b6 in. I'm going to go to holland and Barrett to get their 50mg b6 to take in addition. Bit worries about lack of medical info on b6 as apparently overdose can cause nerve and brain issues but that's in doses of 200mg plus.

Ps if anyone feels like indulging their inner AIBU there are some choice threads just now! I just contributed to one on an argument about sprinkles versus hundreds and thousands

So ladies I'm ovulating (or at least I'm 24-48 hours away) I know this because I used the Cbfm I am very in tune with my body.

Found out this morning on day 14, we've dtd on days 4, 8, 10 and 13. I know maybe it's not good for his soldiers but I think 2 days now of getting my Cape on will be something he can ahem cope with.

I need more girl mates - my friends really are my colleagues at work but just a few of us meet up every so often. I talk to them about it - but because I want to seem like a normal person I haven't told anyone were using the Cbfm trying really hard to conceive. Want to avoid sympathy.

Morning viroids

So this contraband lark. In the interests of scientific research (inspired by Lala), I tested again this morning and got a second smiley. My hypothesis is that it will go away again tomorrow or the day after. Just interesting to see how long it lasts whether it actually works. Also going to have a shot at measuring my own lp - counting from yesterday. I know it's all approximate and all but I'm interested.

But then I had a glass of wine last night anyway - duh. It was our first date night in ages and we had a great time. No DTD last night but I might (ahem) encourage it tonight. Cape on. I'm going for August!

And if it doesn't work, I'll be back to JS like something in September.

I'm in Germany, I don't think you can hire a midwife until you're pregnant though, but that's more of an assumption... hmm! Could be one to explore I suppose.

Before id guess at the day after the final smiley being icing day not the first smiley day based on my obviously limited experience of contraband I know, I know, you're not convinced!

la yeah it is expensive, didn't think of holland & barret...good call! But don't go overdosing lol. I thought b vits just got pee'd out anyway?!

I'm one week into the twot and I'm going mad! When can I start POAS?! I'm driving myself crazy!

I've just had a lot of very pink discharge after DTD. Im due AF in 9 days. Should I worry?

lauren try and stay calm. mini hooya for you!

gaggia sounds like you had a good time to me! I wouldn't worry! lol

Another week at least lauren - keep busy, keep calm!

Wouldn't worry gaggia, it's not that unusual to get something after DTD and if there's no pain it's probably nothing sinister. And, if I was elite ally going to egg you on, I could mention implantation!!

Sounds like you are in with a good shot this month with the timing before and lady - get on it!!

Ooooh, three days sans t'internet and I miss so much. Congratulations tabby and Luna!! Fabulous news to come back to:)

Bertie* - how do they/he know that he has a translocated chromosome but not know which ones are involved? Need the geneticist to help here, so you understand risks of recurrence in offspring (balanced translocations shouldn't cause a big issue) vs risk of miscarriage/birth defects etc. Surprised it wasn't dealt with when he was told of the translocation to be honest.

Purple sorry to hear about the diabetes...hopefully you will get it under control quickly and can get ttc-ing soon!

Before:

Yes, the cat is with us...sat on my left arm as I type - I think she'll like it here. We've heard back from the hospital, histology was normal - just one of those things and nothing sinister, which is a relief. Just need to get the cape unpacked and we're off and away again!

Chat, MIL had amniocentesis (or something, she can't remember what it was) while pregnant with DH because she was high risk for downs due to age and they told her then, but she wasn't ever told anything more. From what they have told us there wasn't much known about it in the 80s so the only thing they told MIL and FIL was that their child may have learning difficulties and also may be infertile. DH has dyslexia but other than that he's perfectly healthy, so I presume his is balanced, but he's always had this fear that he's infertile since his parents sat him down at 16 and told him (but didn't bother getting him any proper genetic counselling or a medical appointment so he could have all the facts...)

MIL said vaguely that she might try to get the records, but I doubt they will have them any more, as the maternity hospital where everyone had babies in the area at the time was closed some time in the early 90s. There's also talk of a cousin who is recently married and also has "the same thing" according to PIL but I don't know how likely it is that it's the exact same thing. And we don't know her so I think it's a bit rude to barge in and say "Oh hi, long lost cousin! Can we talk about my genetic problem?" SIL x2 are chomping at the bit to ask her for us, though.

Could you pay to get a private karyotype done Bertie?