The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Impressed that your FC has a secretariat chloe - it makes it sound like a Communist fertility clinic or one run by the EU. ref the statistics; every case is individual so the success rates can only be a guide, they can't really predict exactly how it will go for you. (hope that doesn't sound harsh, it isn't meant to be - just trying to do as you asked).

kuma hope things are ok with you.

Loving the Berries dance troupe gill rosie tiger and beaky. I'll get in the spirit of it and do a little shimmy - don't have any pompoms though.

I've just made strawberry ice cream, mmm, i'll be getting my spoon out later.

wildflower me neither, I can shake a tambourine and pogo a bit??

beaky I live in Stockport now, but lived in Sheffield for ten years so who knows

chloe I just near-on spat ratatouille on my laptop laughing!

barking let me know how you get on with the perfectionist quiz bit!

beaky welcome back. Hope you manage to keep the work stress at bay for a while at least. I also read the Emma cannon book on holiday and I couldn't decide what type I was - my inner hypochondriac wanted to be them all!

Have a fab holiday nolly! Hope you come back relaxed and refreshed.

That all sounds good for the transfer chloe. Time to focus on positive results and not the statistics. Will be keeping everything crossed for you throughout the process.

Mmm strawberry ice cream sounds lush wild. Think I might have to raid the cupboard for a sweet treat!

Thanks for letting me rant. Although I love her dearly, my mate was flaky before having a baby so I'm not sure what I was expecting! We'll see but it's probably just groundwork for canceling on the day.

No no no kitten - swallow the ratatouille! . chloe might as well enjoy your last shag week before you get diffed!!

nolly I know you hate it, but I love your phone and its amazing typos. Please don't change it. Hope you have a great holiday and try to forget ttc and us for the week, we'll leave a breadcrumb trail for you if we move threads

wildflower I am impressed! Do you have a fancy machine or is this hand churned ice cream? Either way, can I have some please?!?

tiger that's super shitty of your friend, especially as you're the one travelling!

barking did you manage to clean the car or are you still absorbed in woo land?
Speaking of which, my first acu session is on Saturday and nollys remark about leg fuzz has me worried. How many items of clothing need to be removed? What should I wear?

beaky welcome home! Can't believe your IUI is so soon now, definitely know what you mean about being glad to find out a bit more about what is actually going on in there.

rp are you feeling ok now? Has the coloured discharge gone? I have adopted the term wazinga by the way (my ipad just tried to correct that to wazingafingers btw!)

Not a lot going on here. We've sort of ignored the outcome of the FC appt so far, not got any further than the discussion the evening of about what order we might do things in. I think when the witch arrives this cycle I will probably be prompted into looking into private/egg sharing info. Everything always seems rosy in the first 2 weeks of your cycle doesn't it, and then the 2ww sends you in to a tail spin...

Funny you should say that wildflower, I live in Germany which seems to provide much of the inspiration for the EU!

Glad my infertility woes made you laugh kitten I'm from Stockport, grew up in the Heatons!

Perfectionist quiz tiger? This is something I have to get my hands on.

Bollocks rain I never knew that was how you're supposed to do it. No wonder I've never had a sniff or a BFP. Just had my turn to burst out laughing over the ipad.

Re acu, my lady usually puts needles in my feet, lower legs, stomach and hands/wrists. It all depends on where in your cycle you are though and what you are trying to achieve. Have also had them in my forehead and a couple in my chest when I had fluid retention after my EC. I usually wear trousers which I have to take off, and then she just lifts my top up a bit to stick rhem in my stomach. HTH.

Thanks Rain. No coloured discharge is still with us but it isn't massive. I read somewhere that although there are no actual studies to prove this, many women believe that the pg multivits turn your discharge yellow like they do wee.

I'm choosing to believe that now.

rp that sounds entirely plausible.

chloe it is in the mind body fertility connection book that barking is reading. I did the quiz and in true perfectionist style got pretty much full marks!

random question - can anyone recommend a good juicer? Don't really want to spend more than 100 quid but equally don't want to end up with something unreliable.

God you ladies are on the form-wazingas, bald fanjos Ozzie style and stubbly legs! I wax or epilate mine so my various chiropractor/fertility nurses etc get treated to some full on hairy legs!! also talking of bald fanjos I've gone all Holly's bush with mine-aka au natural,normally indulge in a bit of topiary but cannot be doing with the pain!

Whenever I'd go past our fc I'd get a strange compulsion to drop my knickers!

tiger flaky friends are the worst! it's like you know they're gearing up for a get out. I totally know what you mean about friends with kids and barking's mate who hadn't seen her toddler enough just took the biscuit but to be nice, maybe it is hard to leave your kids but we don't get it, maybe their husbands are really shit and don't pull their weight or maybe they didn't realise how clingy they'd get with their kids. I think we all like to think we'd be out with friends when arranged etc but perhaps we're yet to get that clingy, insecurity but this can also be a sign of post natal depression. I noticed it with my friend. She couldn't leave her kids for a night out. They actually went out but had to go home because she was panicing so much. It got worse after that. She got really severe pnd with suicidal thoughts I've also seen previously relaxed friends of ours, who were our last good time goey outy friends, become really uptight in general and then v anxious when their little one was ill, only natural I suppose. I noticed she became more anxious when he was older. She seems better now but it does show you the worry/anxiety can kick off at any point. Sorry, painting a really rosy picture there!!

Been a manic 2 days, inspection at school, seemed like the longest 2 days ever. Glad it's over but no celebratory wine here! Instead a coke zero-woo!

I read the Emma cannon and yes totally couldn't choose which one I was either!! Bit of the first one-all heart but also one of the others too but can't remember- memory is fried as am soooo tired!

Bless you Chloe your dh must have thought all his Christmases\birthdays had come at once! great news about the transfer though, all fx and pompoms out for you.

Thanks Tiger I have diagnosed at least 2, cold and Qi stagnation?! Haha. Anyway lots if things sound like hormonal imbalances and they ways to treat them are quite similar so am trying to get back on the healthy bandwagon. except alcohol I'm going to make the granola from HH too mm and have it with fruit and natural yoghurt. Barking my HH book doesn't have those burgers and wedges in! Tiger the Philips hr1861 juicer is brilliant and you get a copy of a juicing book with recipies in. It's easy to use, easy to clean and very quick, you can put whole fruit in rather than having to chop up too. Shop around for it and you can get it for a lot less than £100.

Nolly enjoy your hols and fx it is a very successful shag week

Funky how are you? Have been thinking about you loads and I really hope you are ok.

RP glad all has settled down too, and I've heard about multi vits doing that too!

rain that's a good plan to wait, if you can manage that. Enjoy your acu though! I'm hoping to start soon, need to ring the lady tomorrow.

Re the wazinga triming I'm actually a little embarrassed to get mine out as it is virtually none existent after holiday waxing but I better get over that sharp as there's some dildocamming to be done soon!

How's everyone else?

Oo Bushy that's a grim picture of parenthood. I'd like to hope that I could still be sensible about stuff and know when I need to be around and when dh can be around instead etc. it's like a lifetime of worry ahead! But also fun panic sets in

Morning!
Excuse any typos. It's too bloody cold to take mt hands from under the blankets.

Well I'm feeling a tad better. I think everything has just hit me at once. The fact I can't conceive, work, idiot sister etc..

It would nice if I could find another job but I have no real other job kills apart from what I do now.

As for the Facebook thing I accidentally posted a photo of a wound that a patient sustained. Nothing yo identify the patient, the organisation I work for or anything bad really. It could have been a screen shot. So instead of thus colleague telling me in private she dobbed to the boss in front of 6 colleagues. I now have yo report to the commissioner on Monday. Sacking is a possibility.

So ivf, failing exams, the Facebook thing, weight gain, being generally unwell on and the massive pay cut we all have yo take ($15000/year) thanks to the shitty government makes life just peachy.

Sorry for the me me me post.

I'll have to catch up on the thread. Might do it tonight. The joys of night shift.

I hope everyone is well.

beaky they've seen all sorts! The Ivf doctor saw mine a bit like that too, I felt a bit embarrassed! Felt I should have had more 'coverage'. No fear of that now!! Also, think cus I've waxed down there so much, the hair has gone into shock.. That's the excuse I have for the grey, yes grey hairs down there!! I know I'm old but not that old!!! Now, there's a sentence I thought I'd never put on the internet!!

Yeah sorry beaky I do have some normal friends too! I think I was just trying to point out that maybe there is a reason for their behaviour, even though we find it annoying.

seren oh dear,poor you. Hope things calm down.

Stockport is very close to me Kitten, we're about 3 miles west and are in the Stockport council catchment area.

Sorry you're having such a time of it Serentity. Get the hearing out if the way on Monday and take things from there. Maybe look to change one small thing in your life and take it one step at a time so not too daunting.

I regularly (once a month) get someone to give my lady garden a short back and sides. Is this unusual behaviour?

Too late and too tied to post properly but had to come on and join kitten, Chloe & gillster in the Stockport posse!!! I also grew up in the Heatons!!!!

serenity sounds like you are having a tough time, but as Rosie always says, and it's very good advice, it will pass. Hopefully soon. Gill gives good advice on that too, one thing at a time so a snot to be overwhelmed.

Gill I get a wazinga wax quite regularly but had extra off for hols it's quite bare but will have to get it tidied before iui scan otherwise it'll be patchy and weird...

bushy yep I do also have some friends like that. It really must be v hard and I wonder if the ttc strain will make us more like that too. Eek when will your 12 week scan be? Is everything going ok at the moment?

Oops *as not, not a snot.

gillster I used to have a wax before going on holiday (ouch!), at other times I'd use veet myself. Now I just use DH's electric razor! No pain, no itchy regrowth and a lot quicker, even if the results don't last as long . I really should get my own razor.....
I used to shave my legs before every scan/ACU session then there were so many of them I stopped caring.

Right, tour fever commences! Need to leap out of bed and start packing!

Where are you watching the Tour *Barking"? Half day for me - woo hoo! Going over Bingley way to stop with friends tonight. DH has a ride planned this afternoon so no doubt I'll have support vehicle duties! Not quite sure where we'll end up on Sat and Sun. I absolutely love the TdF (and Mark Cavendish). Hmmmmm.

Barking - does your DH know you use his razor on your wazinga? My DH would be repulsed so I didn't let on I'd used it a couple of weeks ago to get rid of my five o'clock shadow under my arms! Did the job though and was going to a summer ball so needed to be done.

I have a small ice cream maker which is perfect for knocking up the odd batch of something sweet. It's the type where you freeze the bowl overnight and then pour in your mix and let the machine churn it. It was a Christmas present and I'm surprised how much I've used it - but homemade ice cream is just so much nicer.

at Gillster's 'short, back and sides' for the wazinga.

I'm astounded by all the Stockport connections, strange coincidence. I've been there, does that count.

The Emma Cannon book is nice, quite calming I thought, but it is tricky to settle on a type. Can your type can change? Who knows. bushy you are so lovely that it doesn't surprise me that you identified with the all heart type.

I'm also astounded at the Stockport connection, hahaa!! I moved here about a year and a half ago (I was renting, fiance - now husb - owned, so I moved in with him) but because I was commuting out of the area to work I haven't made a single friend of my own here yet which is properly lame. I know his work colleagues and his family, some of whom live in Hazel Grove so not far. But yeah, pretty sad really!
I'm unemployed (made redundant 3 months ago) so am jobseeking locally (aka sitting in on my own, narrating my actions to the house bunny and avoiding daytime tv). Hopefully I might start laying down my own roots then...

I'm going to check out some of these books, this Emily Cannon one sounds fascinating :)

wildflower You've got me thinking ice creamy thoughts, may actually get around to using the one I was given 2 years ago, for the first time!

serenity that all sounds really rough, love. Sending you a hug cyber hug and will keep my fingers crossed for you. Quite frankly your colleague sounds like a superdouche, hope they fall in poo.

gillster yes, he knows. It's a hair one rather than a face one, he uses it to shave his head. I only use it to trim after I'm out of the shower and all clean. He only grouches when the battery runs out half way through shaving his head and then blames me . Keep thinking I should get a ladyshave thing instead....

Going up to stay with friends in Otley, cycling to somewhere to watch on Sunday. I have lived in 3 different places on the route so really torn as to where I want to be on Sunday, but ultimately it will my fitness that determines where I can get to from Otley on a bike! I used to cycle through Bingley every day on my way to work!

barking my mum lives in Ilkley and so did DH and I before we moved down to Devon

Seren that is really rough. I think if you are just contrite and explain it was an accident - and also, how you have put measures in place to ensure it cannot happen again - you should hopefully be okay.

My wazinga is completely untamed except for bikini line due to regular swimming. Although I am thinking of getting a swimsuit with legs purely so I don't even have to worry about that anymore. Maximum laziness!

beaky when is your next dildocam then?

RP love your attitude to bikini line - now I finally see what those swimming-costume-cum-shorts are really all about. It's too hide the bikini hair!

kitten make the ice cream. The recipe I use is a Nigel Slater one:

450 grams strawberries
100 grams caster sugar
300 ml double cream

chop each strawb into three / four pieces. Put in a bowl with the sugar and leave for an hour (I add a squeeze of lemon juice here, but that's going off piste). Then whizz strawberry mixture in a blender. Whisk cream until stiffish - i.e. it folds softly. Mix everything together and then into the ice cream maker. Once it's quite freezy put it into a tub and into freezer.

Or you can just make it without the ice cream maker and instead stir it every so often when it's in the freezer.

Warning - before you serve it you need to give it about 15 mins to soften out of the freezer. It goes rock hard!

Do it - you know you want to.