The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Oh beaky, luckily toffee chocs are well known for their 'pull yourself together' properties. They are one of the best possible supplements you can have. Here's a to wash them down.

Big hugs beaky I had a massive bawl on Sunday which did help me feel better, better out than in!

Hugs beaky. Hope the toffee chocs did the trick.
I just had a little blub after I heard the way a woman spoke to her child in the street. Worst possible language you could imagine. So unfair. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. She had 3 kids with her as well

Sorry just realised I cocked the listed up earlier! Didn't mean to leave anyone out! Not sure what happened there!

Thanks everyone, they did help! Can't wait to get home now. Happy that's so sad, I hate seeing that too. It's very unfair.

It was me that asked about the lap nolly, are you going to have one? It wasn't too bad but I felt pretty minging for a couple of days afterwards. It makes sense even if it just rules out endo and they don't find anything. I am always self diagnosing too! Damn work pg announcements, there's no escape.

beaky. Massive hug to you my lovely, and pass the chocs! This ttc business can get you down but we're all here with a handhold through the downs and with the pom poms to cheerlead our way to the ups. Sometimes crying is necessary to get the feelings out so give yourself some time to go with it before getting back on the yellow brick road! . It's usually barking dragging berries on to the ybr but I'll do it in her absence.

kitten it really is great news, don't feel guilty, a berry bfp is always a wonderful thing! This cluster diff is gathering pace!

happy cheers for sorting the list. Here are my updated stats:

tigerdog, 34, ttc 20 months. Unexplained. Follow up appointment with FC in September but expecting to be told to continue with ttc for another year before seeking further assistance.

I have ditched yoga due to a stinking headache following a tedious afternoon in meetings. Perhaps going every day this week was too ambitious!

Just dropping in to add myself to the list and make a note of where you're going on the off chance we'll be able to ttc again before the next thread finishes! I've skim read the weeks I've missed!

kuma us too, stopped the pill in December 2011 ready to start trying properly in the new year...

barkingtreefrog, 36, ttc since Jan 2012. clomid bfp and iui bfp both ended in mc. MC clinic end of Sept, taking a ttc break until we've had results and follow up appointment.

Nothing to report from me given we're having a break, but blood test yesterday was finally negative. Finished bleeding a week into our holiday, so only took exactly 5 weeks for my body to flush this one out of the system . And I thought I was bleeding forever with mc 1. If I ever have to go through this again I'll be mainlining raspberry leaf tea from day 1, that's the only thing that got the bleeding going again each time it calmed down but my hormones were still positive.

Anyway, doing my usual waffle.
lady I have absolutely everything crossed that this is your time. I had exactly the same cautious and non-commital reaction from my dh to both bfps. He told me he'd let himself get excited when he had a baby in his arms. 'Don't get your hopes up' isn't exactly the response you dream about when telling your man you're pregnant .

Congratulations kitten hope you are indeed leading another clusterdiff .

bushy I am so sorry to read your news. Have you been offered counselling? My clinic provides it and our consultant pretty much insisted I went. I found it really helpful. Give yourself a break was her main advice! I noticed you asked about work. I asked the deputy to let everyone at school know, but then I was still bleeding heavily and wanted slack from some people and help from others if I needed to grab a random adult to watch my class while I ran to the toilet. People were very good at offering to cover my break duties etc. You've got time before going back to work which will help, so you might decide it's not necessary by September anyway.

Toodle pip where the hell did that come from?, I'll be back on the new thread when we've been through the mc investigations and are ready to start again . In the meantime, where's that gin?

Knew I'd forget something....
Haven't read carefully enough but is it the limbo gap with the iui troubling you beaky, or just the ttc blues/waiting/frustration that gets to us all? I approve of the bad toffee chocolates, gotta get me some of those . Hope you're feeling more positive soon, have they said anything about your random bleeding and when you're back for a scan?
In the grand scheme of things, you're closer now than you've ever been, it's just a little longer to wait .

I've probably cross posted with lots of people by now, so I'll stop messing up the thread and wish you all luck! Hopefully see some of you in the copter check me out clinging to the yellow brick road with my teeth if I miss you on the next thread .

Smidge mine was unassisted too but I had a saline scan on day 7 of this cycle where they picked up the polyp and I'm sure it must have done something, not sure what but it can't be just a coincidence after 2.5 years! Either that or it was the crystals...
Barking good to hear from you and thanks for the good wishes.
I'm on my phone so could someone add me to the list please?

Lady, 35, TTC since Jan 2012, 2 failed IVF cycles, one surprise BFP.

Bonsoir Berries! I've read everything but am knee deep in kids (DNe & DNi visiting) so can't post a big reply suffice to say YAY for kitten and lady and huge hugs for Smidge.

Also, my stats for the list (thanks happy!). Will be back to catch up properly tomorrow.

Rain: 33, TTC since Mar 2012. Unexplained. Natural BFP Sep 2013, MMC Nov 13. Awaiting NHS IVF referral at the end of this year.

Called into John Lewis on the way home from work. Needed the loo and didn't realise that the toilets were situated right behind the baby/ children department. Could have find with some blinkers. Walking past a girl who couldn't have been any more than 14 and was obviously pregnant, looking at prams with her patents didn't add anything to the experience. Just kept thinking "Please let it be me soon."

Gillster, 40, TTC since March 2012, unexplained. Had IVF in Feb but didn't complete cycle due to mythical polyp. Have 6 embies in freezer. Hoping 2 will be put back in a FET in a couple of weeks.

"Find" = "done"

Well hello! Internet's been down since Sunday so had a big catch up today! Tbh I needed the internet break as was starting to get a bit obsessed with googling miscarriage, ttc etc etc, sending myself potty.

Told some friends who've been really lovely and my mum and dad but the common phrase seems to be well you've gotten pregnant, that's good, means it'll happen again etc. We're not telling everyone it's Ivf so it galls a bit as I think yeah I got pg with a lot of help and it still didn't stick!! Anyway in my more positivism moments I think well maybe this is our chance to have a natural bfp. It's happened on here eh lady!!

I have my 2 week later appt at hospital tomorrow. I'm still flipping bleeding and like barking has mentioned beginning to think mainlining the raspberry leaf tea might be a good idea. Had 4 cups so far today. Maybe can squeeze another one in before bed. I don't know what is involved tomorrow but get this, they want me to do a pg test before I go- how flipping thrilling . Luckily I have a freebie cheapie I can use. I refuse to use my last remaining clearblue... Would like to think could use that for a real reason in the future.

Congrats to kitten

gilster I too hope it'll be you soon . Know exactly what you mean re blinkers, I had tunnel vision walking out from my failed scan trying not to make eye contact with any of the bumps or newborns etc.

I can't imagine how hard that must have been Bushy.

Well this morning I had the official blood test and that confirmed the negative. Not unexpected. However, I'm now really upset again because the Dr is supposed to call me with post IVF failure discussion about next steps etc, but instead her secretary called to say that Dr Gee (first name Ali(son). I wish I still found that amusing) would rather we came in to see her in person because of "the state of my embryos" and something along the lines of how 'they didn't progress very well did they'...

Appointment isn't until Monday 25th, so now have another 2ww to find out how in don't have a chance in hell .

Sorry, I'm so upset right now and feeling v sorry for myself.

My stats are
Smidge: 38yrs old, ttc since Jan 2012. 2 months clomid, hicosy clear, hormone stats good, first IVF Aug '14 BFN. Awaiting to hear chances of trying IVF again given apparent poor 'state of embryos'.

Don't beat yourself up smidge, it's such an emotional roller coaster. Give yourself time to grieve and properly come to terms with things. Did they give you an indication at the time they put the embies back, that they may have not been the best quality or is this only coming to light now?

Bugger! Just typed a huge post then went back a page to copy the list and the whole post disappeared
Smidge as Gil said please don't beat yourself up. Hopefully the clinic will have learnt something from this cycle that will help with future treatment.
Barking - great to see you. Good luck with the new job.
Now if everyone else could kindly start packing up, it'll be time to get out of here soon!! Any requests for the new title? Anyone else for the list?

Kuma - 39 TTC since Jan 13 (23 of my short cycles). Failed short protocol IVF June 2014, now waiting for a hysteroscopy before NHS natural cycle if they can fit me in before my next big bday.
Lumen, soon to be 35, ttc for 3 yrs, unexplained, IVF on nhs summer 2014, no implantation, starting private funded IVF at end of sept on long protocol again
Happylass, 36, TTC 2 years, getting hitched and honeymooning mid August, then starting short protocol ICSI at the end of the month.
Beaky, 34, ttc 2 years, unexplained, due to start iui next cycle if the cysts have gone.
nolly, 32, TTC 2 years, just finished with the dreaded clomid, 1 year to go before IVF.
HampshireBlues, 36, TTC 3 years, unexplained, IVF cycle 1 long protocol resulted in chemical / failed implantation, trying to get myself together for cycle 2.
WildflowerMarmalade, 39, TTC 3years, unexplained, underactive thyroid + possible immune issues
tigerdog, 34, ttc 20 months. Unexplained. Follow up appointment with FC in September but expecting to be told to continue with ttc for another year before seeking further assistance.
barkingtreefrog, 36, ttc since Jan 2012. clomid bfp and iui bfp both ended in mc. MC clinic end of Sept, taking a ttc break until we've had results and follow up appointment.
Lady, 35, TTC since Jan 2012, 2 failed IVF cycles, one surprise BFP.
Rain: 33, TTC since Mar 2012. Unexplained. Natural BFP Sep 2013, MMC Nov 13. Awaiting NHS IVF referral at the end of this year.
Gillster, 40, TTC since March 2012, unexplained. Had IVF in Feb but didn't complete cycle due to mythical polyp. Have 6 embies in freezer. Hoping 2 will be put back in a FET in a couple of weeks.
Smidge: 38yrs old, ttc since Jan 2012. 2 months clomid, hicosy clear, hormone stats good, first IVF Aug '14 BFN. Awaiting to hear chances of trying IVF again given apparent poor 'state of embryos'.

Gill, no, during the actual process they didn't give us any indication that our embryos weren't good, every time I asked they said they were in line with expectations. Of my 10 eggs 70% fertilised (and from what I gather that was because 3 of the eggs were not actually mature) then 5 eggs reached 6-8 cells for day 3, then from reading up it seems you would expect 35% of those to make it to a blastocyst - ie 1 or 2. So getting one (which the doctor herself called beautiful) blastocyst seemed ok. Now I'm just so upset coz the way the secretary said it it sounded as if we have no chance ever. That wasn't something I thought I'd have to face. Taking ages to conceive, and spending lots of money on IVF yes, but actually never to have my own baby??

Oh god I know that's not exactly what she said, but what if that is the case? I'm getting myself into such a state over the thought - Why couldn't the doctor just tell us something over the phone instead of having to discuss it face to face?

Wish hubby was home from work. I feel so lonely on the other side of the world . Don't want to call my mum as I know I'll just start blubbering and I don't want to upset her, as she'll feel so dreadful for me and be desperate that she can't come round and give me a hug.

Ironic huh. The trouble with having a lovely family is you don't want to upset them.

Glad you berries are out there.

Sorry you are upset smidge. We waited 4 weeks after our failed cycle for our follow up. Found out that our embryos only progressed slowly, not something they mentioned in the cycle, but the consultant wasn't concerned. You had better rates than us, 10 collected, 5 fertilised, had two day 3s put back and the other 3 didn't get past morula stage so no frosties. So don't worry too much. As people on here say it only takes one and your time will come. We all have to believe that. If you are still upset tomorrow ring the FC and tell them that you are worrying and want to talk to the consultant over the phone rather than wait.

Aw bushy you poor thing. Good thing we're all moving onto a new thread, a few berries seem to be down in the dumps at the mo. Hugs for beaky, bushy smidge and barking.hope the toffee did the trick beaky! SMidge, I don't know owt about IVF but the ladies here do, sorry about your anxiety-inducing phone call. Really, you'd think a FC would have a handle on how to deliver news sensitively.

I think I might tiger. OH thinks i'm being ridiculous but he's not the one that has to take time off work because of painful AF, is he. NO HE IS NOT. so he can put his judgmental but probably correct medical assessment away.

gil am also working on my denial blinkers...

well, off to deal with emails that my psycho boss has been sending since 5.40. he's mental

Thanks lumen. You are right, and I will call tomorrow if I'm still upset as it can't hurt can it.

I also hust had an email from a friend back home who has had 2 babies through IVF and she said after their first cycle their consultant tried to dissuade them from trying again as they had such poor response (20 eggs but only 2 made it to day 3). She advised to be business like in the discussion (do the crying outside) and push to try again assuming that's what we want. She reckons they don't want to reduce their %s with low likelihood couples or indeed couples they think aren't emotionally able to go through a likely low success cycle. She said that she and her husband often think how if they hadn't taken that approach they wouldn't have their 2 boys now. In the end their first boy was on cycle 3, and their second took another 2 attempts.

So I'm trying to feel a positive vibe again

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157788-The-Elderberry-Pavlovas-Hanging-up-our-fertility-crystals-relaying-the-Yellow-Brick-Road-and-chasing-that-chopper-We-want-our-BFPs-and-we-want-them-now-Thread-22

And we're off! Not the most inspiring thread tile i know, but I've got wedding brain. Will do better next time! Last one out turn off the lights! See you on the other side.