Home of the very brave TTC after MC-ers. Advice, understanding and a variety or food based euphemisms. Pull up a pew, ladies!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

I like mine but the pay is almost non existent. Actually, This month it is totally non existent. Sigh

Been thinking of you sebs, hope you've had a call back?

tea I like my 'job', I'm a sahm now! Left the rat race of corporate life, never looked back. I'm considerably more skint now but so glad to be out of it and enjoying dd for the time being. I'll go back to work sometime, but not to those long hours and time away from home even though the money was good, it's not enough. Hope you can find an alternative, if you're crying in the loo it is time to get yourself out before you get seriously depressed x

Cake - I wish I had positive news. I never received a call back. I feel as though the medical profession has officially washed their hands of me and it matters not a jot to them if this turns into an emergency situation. I have reached out to so many people now and everyone of them has said I have to wait and see.

I am going to sit down tonight and right a timeline of every person I have pleaded with to help me and if I do lose a tube at the end of this I am going to sue the arses off them.

I'm so sorry sebs, that's just so rude of them to not call you back! Don't really know what else to suggest other than hang in there. At least you're getting another blood test tomorrow.

Tea I also hate my job and am looking for something new. On paper it is a good job - I work from home and have a good salary and benefits. But I've tried to look at the positives and just put up with the negatives and I simply can't do it, it is getting worse for me as well and I just dread Monday mornings. I don't even expect to find a job I love, just something that doesn't fill me with dread every time I think about it would be nice!

Oh sebs that's just so awful, I'm amazed a private clinic wouldn't call back, you poor thing i've had such great care and positive experiences with medical folk, it just makes you realise what a lottery it all is and I'm so so sorry you're left in limbo like this. Hoping your blood tests tomorrow reveal something useful for you. Thinking of you x

Hi girls
sebs, !

Anyone had counselling for the MCs? How did you feel about it, did it help?
I have an assessment with bereavement counselling services tomorrow. This was booked quite a few weeks ago now, when I was down in the dumps. I'm feeling much better now (after a nice break), although will never be 100% again about it all. But do you think the counselling and delving back into it all might only set me back again??

Sebs how heavy was your bleed? Some time implantation bleed can continue for days but is usually lighter than a normal period??

Tea I have to say I love my job! I am a reception teacher which is quite full on and hard work but I love it!

sebs I am sorry to hear how let down you have been by the medical profession. It can be hard to find the right people to help you.
silverne I had lots and lots of counselling. Looking back I am not sure I would have coped without it. For a long time I did not allow myself to grieve. I use to say to my counsellor how can I grieve for a baby which only ever existed in my head? But once I started it was like a dam burst and my counsellors (both in the UK and Dubai) helped to rebuild me and my life. I still see one occasionally if I am having a down day (they are getting fewer over time) and we do joke about how many boxes of tissues I use to get through in a session.

Tea I like my job as a stay at home mum, but I would love to work part time! Unfortunately finding a part time job over here is like gold dust and since my husband works in a different emirate and travels......no chance! Thinking about going back to studying, but worried I would have forgotten how to......

God sebs I'm so sorry, that's really appalling treatment you're getting from all sides :( x

I used to love my job, had a lot to do with the people rather than the work but I liked going in but a lots changed over the last two years- it's a small company owned by a much larger one, and they're trying to get all areas of the business in the same systems/working together etc which is actually a good thing, at least it would be if they bothered to tell us stuff and actually plan changes in advance etc it's all just gone tits up and the mmc means I don't have as much to give emotionally if that makes sense?
Unfortunately it pays me about £3,000.00 more pre tax than similar jobs and we need the money so I'm stuck for at least this year (though we could all be made redundant before then which I was dreading but now can't wait lol) I'll get over it, just a really bad day but as we all know worse things happen :( x

I've been reading lots tonight and whilst all my signs are pointing towards ectopic they are following the correct protocol by closely monitoring me with the blood testing. It does seem there is little more they can do at this stage. I imagine they don't want to scan at this stage as it would most likely show nothing and cause me to panic. I suspect if my hcg levels start getting towards the 1000 marker they will get me in.

I know this isn't viable based on hcg levels. So I've got to hope it is absorbed which often happens, even in the Fallopian tube would you believe! The body is remarkable.

I thought the Methotrexate injection would just solve the problem but now I understand you can't TTC for 3-6 months after because if potential birth defects for subsequent pregnancies.

Never has a complete natural miscarriage seemed so appealing!

Sebs have you had the methoxrexate shot? I had a course of 16 over a 3 month period. TTC afterwards is a really grey area with no clear answer of when it is safe to try again. I have yet to find two drs who agree! However the longest wait time I was ever told was 6 months and the shortest was 2 months.

No i haven't. I guess i thought it was the silver bullet and i would take it if it was offered down the line. Didn't realise it came with health implications of its own!

Aw so sorry sebs. It's that unknown that drives you crazy.

I've been considering counselling so good to hear it's helpful.

I've just emailed another scanning place and tried to outline the situation succinctly and see if they would scan me to look for a mass in my tube and/or free floating fluid. Hoping they will say just come in and we will have a look with the dildo cam.

Sebs I really feel for you. I was in such a similar place, except my belief was that I wasn't experiencing an ectopic and everyone else thought I might well be. It was like I was wading through treacle getting them to hold off with Methotrexate (a shot of chemo) or whip out my right tube. I kept getting raised eyebrows when I went for the "conservative" option of watching and waiting. I would look at symptoms of blighted ovum or failed pregnancy, because they sound similar with the low HCG levels. Even a glimmer of light sounds as if it could be useful now. Hope the blood test is useful tomorrow...

Tea I hate my job so much that since my last MC in Feb, I've been so stressed that I haven't gone back! I'm now taking action after burying my head in the sand and am resigning. My credit card is going to end up maxed out and I'm selling my wedding dress, but life has to mean more than dead babies and shitty dead behind the eyes jobs. Sorry that sounded quite angry, huh? But I do think all of this takes it out of you, and makes you realise all the other bits of your life that could do with an overhaul.

Silver yes, I had some counselling, actually as I was going through my last MC, which was a bit odd. I didn't get much out of it, but the timing and wrong genitals of the counsellor didn't help much. He kept looking like a frightened rabbit every time I mentioned blood or bits! It was arranged through my works EAP scheme, so was only 6 sessions. I've had much more positive experiences of counselling before, and I think it's particularly effective for grief. I hope your session goes well tomorrow.

In my life, I've been applying for a new job in my old organisation, which is a bit weird. I'm also getting used to hearing aids, waiting for blood test results, and had a smear (all clear). Still got achy joints from arthritis flare up a few weeks ago, and interestingly, if I do have rheumatoid arthritis, there is a link between that and APS. Could explain everything very neatly, if a bit depressingly. It's my birthday on Monday, so I will be the answer to the ultimate question (a bit of a nerdy one).

Sorry for the essay, it's not like I'm avoiding going back to my job application or anything...

Sorry sebs you are still in a limbo.

tearex, I have had a cry several times at work and once in a meeting with my manager. My work is good and interesting but there are some people who really make my life difficult and despite my making all sorts of effort, I feel they treat me very unprofessionally. Now I have just tried to develop a thick skin and not let things bother me.

Thanks tanny. It's that period bleed combined with the low hcg that's scaring the living shit out of me. The only vaguely upbeat thing I can report is some signs of a decent level of progesterone, of course I have no idea if they are even measuring my levels of Progesterone, I suspect not.

Oh darling you sound totally worn out. I know how demoralising a litany of health problems are. Particularly if they are chronic. I hope you get your diagnosis and can get a treatment plan in place. Hand holding here xx

Thank you sweets! I think you deserve a "keep up the good progesterone levels" card. Keeping everything crossed x

Thanks for the advice, 50degrees and tanny - both very different experiences with the counselling.
I am a bit sceptical to be honest. I'm quite a pragmatic person, don't get emotional too easily, and even less so since the MCs (I can find it hard to feel sympatheric to others, for example), so I'm not much into the emotional stuff.
I fear I might get dragged down into negativity and feeling sorry for myself again... But I guess if they are positive in their attitude rather than dig into it, it might help me feel more positive going forward.
I don't even know if that made sense - see, I'm not good at expressing emotional stuff!

Morning gang! This thread fell off my "threads I'm on" list, I have been very good at reading all the replies, not so good at actually posting anything
sebs I hope you get actual concrete answers today - from the blood tests if nothing else. What a worrying time for you - I would be going insane by now!

And to all the people talking about work - I very nearly posted something this week asking about work - I am finding it really hard to be enthusiastic about my job at the moment. I used to love it but when I found out I was pregnant I think that a part of me had been looking forward to maternity leave and a break from the daily grind. Bah. Stupid miscarriage
And as for me - still no ovulation. I haven't ovulated since December 2013. OK so 3 of those months I was pregnant (but not really due to mmc situation) but where oh where is my next egg? I have started to wonder at what point I should check if this is normal - 3 months after mc? 6 months? And will the docs even do anything at my age (43)?

Have just realised it's Friday! Any POAS taking place today?

Hi all. Sorry to hear so many of you are having such a tough time, especially you Sebs I can only hope that you get some real answers soon. I am disappointed for you at a lot of the treatment you've received.

Can totally relate on the job front. I was working for a large international charity and loved my job until the workload became crippling. It was lucky I had my own office as I used to cry every single day at least once. I realise looking back that I was burnt out but it took leaving to realise how bad things had become. There are now 3.5 people doing the job I used to do single-handedly (or try to). There is a better future out there for all of you job-haters even if it doesn't feel like it. I believe you need to look at alternatives ASAP. Incidentally my maternity benefits are shit compared to the package I would have got had I stayed but I am 100% convinced that had I stayed I would have been too stressed/ill to conceive.

I have some other good news on the 'things get better' front which I hope will bring you all some hope. I went for a scan at 8+6 yesterday and we saw our little bean actually looks like a guinea-pig measuring 8+5 and with a strong heartbeat that we saw and heard.

I'm not sure I have ever properly told you all how much I appreciated the support of each and every one of you throughout my journey from just after my mc feeling so let down by my body and wondering if I would ever conceive again, through tentative steps back into ttc and TITH fatigue, to the high of my BFP and the low of being convinced I'd had another mc. Anyway I just wanted to say I couldn't have got through this without you and you are all amazing, strong women. I wish for all of you to get your take home baby so very soon

Penguin so happy that everything is going well for you this time round :) how amazing to hear babies heartbeat :) and you lovely msg made me cry (I am due a visit from af - hormones are my excuse for wussyness) all the best for the next 7ish months...eeeeek! And please keep us updated on the odd occasion that your passing xxx

Sebs hope today brings answers for you :) what a nightmare time you are having! X

No news here 13dpo and waiting for af x

Aww Penguin, that's lovely news! I'm really chuffed for you!

Fantastic news penguin

Ahhh Penguin, I'm really chuffed for you. Your message made me well up. I hope we can all join you on the an threads soon. Wishing you the most boring, healthy pregnancy ever! Keep us updated!