Home of the very brave TTC after MC-ers. Advice, understanding and a variety or food based euphemisms. Pull up a pew, ladies!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Hope, I didn't ovulate the month following my mc in April, but AF arrived 4 weeks after my mc and I ovulated last weekend, on day 15/16. Luckily everything went back to normal for me quite quickly. Hope it does with you too.

Monten, the only person that you should be thinking about at this time is yourself. Take all the time you need. So sorry for your loss

Monten I'm so sorry for your losses. Definitely take as much time as you need. I tried to venture back a couple of days too early after my loss ) a lot earlier than yours) and it didn't end well.

My temperature jumped up today, which bodes well for my first ovulation after my miscarriage.It also means that our first dtd last night was nicely timed. Not hopeful for this month really, but just hoping that everything is starting to get back to normal.

Hi everyone - thank you. Something about people saying 'you've had a tough time' is really comforting. Why do people in RL try and belittle it? I've had 'you know you can get pregnant' and 'it wasn't meant to be, nothing to stop you trying again' twice already today.

I've just remembered this is a TTC thread, sorry if its a bit weird me posting now. But rest assured, I will be TTC-ing again as soon as I can!

My experience is body gets back to normal quite quickly. First AF after termination took 7 weeks but then returned to normal cycle and got pregnant again on the second cycle. I distinctly remember the overwhelming fear that my cycles would be screwed up and I'd never get pregnant again. But in my experience that wasn't the case. Our bodies are clever things.

I am also another one who can vouch for counseling/therapy. I started seeing a therapist after my dad died four years ago. I was very dubious at first and thought it really wasnt for me but I can't tell you how much it helped me. I saw him for a year and a half in the end and it helped me enormously, in my life, not just in the grief for my dad. I didn't go after the termination but am going to start going again now. I would highly recommend it.

Welcome monten & sorry for the ongoing tough times, I hope we all have more luck in store for us. I would echo what the others have said about work. Take the time you need, you're not going to be any use to anyone if you go back too soon and you'll feel rubbish. If you knew a colleague in the same situation I bet you wouldn't begrudge them the time off. Whether you tell them or not, remember that!
I have also had a lot of those comments in real life, I have decided that people just have no idea what to say so try and be a bit positive rather than meaning to belittle it. Until I had a mc, I was def like that, I think until you have been through it, it's so hard to realise the emotional beating you take.

Good luck to those DTD, ov again , anyone POAS this Friday?!

Monten so sorry of your loss, I find that unless people in RL have been through something similar they tend to make insensitive comments, they think they are being helpful but it really doesn't help.

Today I'm feeling very low, I've always had an irregular cycle, I ovulated first cycle after ERPC but decided to wait for AF before trying again. We started TTC after AF, I am currently on CD38 and haven't ovulated, I have no idea if I will this month or when AF is due, we were TTC a year before MMC, I really want DC2 but finding the constant waiting really hard to deal with, I think I am becoming obsessed with becoming pregnant and am more desperate then ever (which probably isn't helping).

Monten I'm so sorry for your loss and the terrible time you are going through.

I had a mc 2 weeks ago and I had a week off - but only because I knew I had a 3 day week this week and I finished today until Monday.

I admit though to thinking sod it and DTD already but no idea if ovulating

Monten so, so sorry to read your post and for your losses. . I think sometimes people who haven't been through a mc can fail to see that it is a loss and therefore you need time to recover both physically and mentally. Take as much time off as you need and try your best to protect yourself from RL well meaning people who just don't get it.

Hugs Virgo

monten I had 8 weeks off, im a nanny and just couldnt face caring for someone elses children, despite the fact that I love them dearly.

I felt so guilty but I needed time to be completely self absorbed and put my needs before anyone elses. I dont even remember much about the first couple of weeks, I was in complete shock.

Just popping in to say welcome Monten. What an unbelievably horrible time you've had - I'm so sorry for your losses. I echo everyone else's advice to put yourself first

Hugs to everyone else who needs them right now, and happy shagging to those who are currently chasing eggs

I'm in the 2ww. Going on holiday at the weekend, which I hope will take my mind off the constant imaginary symptom spotting...

So sorry monten xxx Take as long as you need.

I think I've gone back too soon. I had 3 days before my mc and a week after but then after week on top as it was holiday. So ive had 2 and a half weeks but only 1 and a half off work officially.
I'm not coping, really upset tonight and on and off over the day. Work are overloading me with work on top of what I need to catch up with and people are not being as understanding ands I'd hoped.

I just want to be home. Sorry for the rant.

Hi ladies, I've not been on this thread much this month as I've been on holiday and then literally back to back guests staying.

But I wanted to pop back with some good news. I mc'd mid February, and last night after 4 cycles of dedicated TTC I got a BFP. We are not as excited as we were first time round as losing our first has changed us, but we are cautiously optimistic.

Thinking of you all, and praying we all have the positive outcomes we so very much deserve.

God monten, what an ordeal you have been through, so sorry for you and your poor babies x

Take the time you know you need and a bit on top to be sure would be my advice. You always need more than you think.

Viperama, that's great news! Fx for a boring pregnancy for you

What lovely news to hear Viperama! Congratulations!! I hope it is a very uneventful, healthy pregnancy for you! Well done!!

Hope yours is the first of many on this thread! I'm in my 2ww...seems so much longer!

Thanks everyone.

Virgo - I know what you mean about waiting. It seems to me this is the most epic test of faith and patience I've ever experienced. I didn't mean it when I said people belittle it, that was the wrong choice of words. It's just people feel they need to be positive, so come out with all the 'next time' platitudes. But what they don't get is we want it to be this time! It's all the milestones, like realising you still won't have a baby by Christmas, or in 2014, or by your next birthday. It's bloody exhausting. Patience was never a virtue of mine anyway.

For everyone who is worried about not ovulating/late AF. I know full well that panic feeling. I was convinced I wasn't ovulating, having always had signs like clockwork before throughout my cycle, they all seemed to disappear completely. I was considering going to doc because I was so convinced and then found out I was pregnant. Opks are not infallible. We don't always know what's going on with our bodies. Have faith, I know it's hard.

Treaclepie I'm so sorry you're finding it hard. I found I had lots of ups and downs, fine one day, not the next. The worst thing for me was insomnia. I'm so sorry your work sound like they are being less than supportive. Is there someone more senior you can speak to? HR?

Oh and congrats Viperama!

Congratulations viperama I echo everyone else in wishing you a very boring and uneventful pregnancy x

treaclepie the best advice my counsellor gave me was to take each moment at a time, not day by day just moment by moment.

Im sorry work arent being supportive, my bosses are the opposite they are being overly nice and actually making things worse. They have decided im depressed and actually said they are surprised my sick notes say im off due to a mmc. There is no evidence that im depressed but they fail to understand that im grieving for my baby.

Congrats Viperama! Here's to a perfectly mundane 9 months ahead

Monten and Smiling, I totally second everything you've said about missed milestones, frustrations and the fact that you wanted this baby so much, and so all the stats about how common mc is or how you're likely to get pg again make no difference to your grief. I definitely did not understand this until my own mmc.

Huge congrats viper what fantastic news!!! Yet another bfp following a holiday..... Race y'all to the travel agents

Congrats viper brilliant news!

broody I know, roll on 3rd July, hoping my hols brings a bfp lol x

Hi All,

Is it ok if I join? After two and a half months of sheer hell we've decided to dare to try again. I had an unsuccessful EPRC in March after finding no heartbeat at our 12 week scan and then after haemorrhaging they carried out a second operation, a week later I had an ruptured cyst in my ovary and so it's only been in the last month or so that I've been able to walk properly never mind letting DH near me! Last week I had what I think was the return of AF with a few cramps and super light bleeding that lasted half a day (sorry tmi!) and then a few more cramps. I was just wondering if anyone else had similar or if it's my body playing bizarre tricks on me again! I've been weeing on sticks like they're about to go out of fashion and all I keep getting is the smiley flashing face so I have no idea if I'm ovulating or just slowly bankrupting myself buying these things at sainsburys! It gets a bit obsessive this baby making malarkey doesn't it?!
Sorry this seems like a super long post! Xx

Viperama. That is great news .

I definitely agree with the holiday thing. Roo (m/c 06 May). Conceived in Denmark. And my current teeny line on a test may have hitched a lift in Lindisfarne (start of half term).

Hello ladies,

I think I ovulated yesterday (temp rise and ewcm).

We are going to try again so I did a frer for a negative (so I know that any future bfp is a 'new' one if that makes sense.

It came up definitely positive. I know this is to be expected after a mc, but is it possible for me to have ovulated with a hormone levels high enough to show up on a frer? Or am I mistaken about the ov?

Mrs gbread. Have you had a negative pregnancy test since m/c ?

Congrats viperama :)

Thanks everyone for the advice about work. I don't really know what im going to do. It's like i said to DH, if I have a other week off it won't help as when I go back ill just be further behind and have missed induction visits from the new children.

If I ask for help all the other staff get bitchy.