Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Well if anyone is lacking in the cervical fluid department, I can recommend a large dose of oestrogen and 2 gallons of water a day Am fair swimming in the stuff

Have any of you seen the Musketeers thread? I read it on the bus on the way home and was in danger of looking like a mad grinning idiot

The musketeers fred is hysterical!!

Bet is there such a thing as tmi in the BESH Fred??

cherry what a lovely pharmacist. It's so touching when someone goes the extra mile for you like that.

dishy I'm intrigued as to what you do! Can you just park thinking about it and not stress about it while you are dealing with the mc? It's the old thing of being kind to yourself - when you are having to deal with one load of shit, don't pile on more if you can avoid it.

Well done missh. I felt very apprehensive about booking those appointments too.

fizz I had oodles of the stuff when my oestrodial levels were up during the IVF. It was like being 20 again!

fab you do seem to have been moving for an age!

Cherry is the glue all over the patch or just around the outside in an edge. If so could you cut out the middle bit and stick it on with something else?

Dishy I think what you're feeling is totally normal for us over achieving, equal opportunity, career focused laydees. Our whole sense of self seems to depend on doing something, anything, manically, without compromise, at the risk of our health, like it was going out of fashion. I think it's one reason TTC is so hard. Because we can't prove ourself with effort and the 'winning' is not our call. Tough times; try to cut yourself some slack and take it easy.

Can we play guess your job role though? Can we?

Congrats on the lay sinks, I hope your sun roof recovers sharpish.

Ugh, I have just finished work for the day and tomorrow is already looking like it will be worse.

Ever thought of a declutter Fab?!
Good effort MissH

It's a composite dor so glue integral unfortunately. I'm shocked there are so few choices of transdermal progesterone TBH; only two! One I love the drug and hate the glue, one the glue is OK but the drug is urrggh for me. Shucks.

cherry, you could not be more correct! It's absolutely like that. I'm used to getting where I need to be by just throwing myself at things hard enough. But it doesn't work with this. And there is no reason, no logic that you can understand behind why it's not happening. Not understanding or having any say in what happens to me is driving me a bit crazy.

Then again I'm sure I'm a better person for it in some ways. Perhaps I needed to live life for a bit without the prop of achievement.

I will award a schooner of Tanqueray to anyone who can guess my job. I guarantee you no-one will get it

I've been dancing round announcing it on here as it will UTTERLY out me. There are probably fewer than thirty women in the country who do what I do. On the other hand, AFAIK, none of them is trying for a baby (yes, we largely all know one another)

Archeologist?

Something in construction?

Do you make Crystal Meth for a living?

Private jet pilot!

Christ fankle, do you know me?

I used to be the first one of your guesses, and I am now the second. In a very specific field.

FOD: I'd be quite a lot better off if that was my job.

I'll give you one clue: it's something that most people think no-one's done since the Middle Ages.

Bookbinder?

Gong Farmer?!

Tanning leather?

No to all the above.

Honourable mention to MissH for alerting me to the existence of gong farmers

Haha! Dish, I just thought back to things you'd previously said about work and figured you worked in quite a male dominated and 'outdoorsy' sort of job. Hurrah for my close guesses . Now I'm thinking you're a blacksmith or a chimney sweep or something!!! prob way off the mark now.

Blacksmith's not too far off . . . wrong material tho

Do it Dishes!

I promise not to Google!

Ooh, Glassblower?

Bugs - you beat me to it!

Oooooh squueee! The game is on... Leather tanner is a good one miss H Errm...

alchemist?
Brewer?
Stone mason?
Thatcher (snigger)?