Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   
   
2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   
   
3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   
   
4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   
   
5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   
   
6. Number of pets?
   
   
7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   
   
8. Lesbian crush?
   
   
9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
   
10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above
    
11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!
    
    If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

[CuntyChops]

I've not been on here for a few days as work has been manic, and it's been all go!

What a complete headfuck of a week you're having Barking! I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

Welcome EricaJ. Good suggestion on having a Game of Thrones marathon! I'm a couple of weeks behind though and I'm terrified of spoilers. A free Netflix trial might work too - loads of good series on there, though nothing very new.

Blue - maybe a bit of a break (and gin) will be a good way to chill out for a bit and regain a bit of mental balance.

Cherry - what happens at an embryoscope unit?

I'm a bit scared to dip into the antenatal threads just yet - feels like tempting fate. I don't even believe it fate FFS!!

[FizzyFeet]

How are you doing today, fankle? Hope the menkul is receding a bit.

cherry that sounds positive! Good to be taking steps in the right direction. I'm intrigued, too - what happens there?

cunty stick around here for as long as you like . I like seeing your cunty name

blue hope you get the headspace you need. Pop back when you're ready.

I'm bored bored bored at work and getting a bit bored of waiting for the hysteroscopy . Dull dull dull in fizzyworld ATM.

[FizzyFeet]

Ooops, was asking after you, barking at the top of my post. But hoping you're ok too, fankle!

[eurochick]

Cunty the PESH fred is not like other AN freds. You might want to dip a toe in there before anywhere else (that was how I did but even then I waited and lurked a bit first before I went for it ). I was agog when I eventually joined the August thread at how blasé everyone was and how early they were buying stuff for the baby and so on. It's another world. It still annoys me sometimes - that blind innocence that all will be well is what I should have had. Instead, I have blind terror about the whole bloody process and still can't believe I am going to end up with a healthy baby at the end of it all.

cherry I love the quote. It sounds like things are really moving forward for you.

[FrankelandFilly]

[FrankelandFilly]

Euro I agree with what you say about the other AN freds, I ended up leaving the March one as I couldn't handle the blasé attitude of some posters plus there was quite a bit of "hun-ing".
The problem is that we ESH bear the battle scars of our struggles and as a result have to contend with The Fear. Instadiffers can never understand it.

Cunty definitely pop your head round the door on the PESH fred, we'll lay out some fresh twat cushions for you n' everyfink

[Fankletastic]

Morning Hags

Cherry tru dat for your quote.

fizzy am still in the post scan 3 day high so feeling good. Sometimes I can't figure out if I have low level nausea or if I'm just hungry. Eating does seem to help but I do wish I had more pronounced symptoms. Although my boobs have been aching for 5-6 weeks now.

How your feeling cunty barking? I have dipped in to read the jan 2015 fred but haven't joined in yet. There's loads of them and I can't keep up with the posts. Also, don't really want to have my stats put on a spreadsheet for the world to see.

It's Friday! I am going to Liverpool and Manchester for the weekend. Liverpool is work related and Manchester for fun. Hope it stays sunny.

[EricaJ]

Morning!

Have a great week end Fankle and I hope it stays sunny.

I have an appointment with my gyno tomorrow to start the recurrent mc testing.

Something that he mentioned at the last appointment is that we can start trying again straight away, as in this month. I don't know why I'm worrying about this, it took me 16 months to achieve my last pregnancy so it's not like it's likely to happen straight away but...

Anyway. I am reading really conflicting info on the subject. There seems to be concerned about the thickness of the uterus lining, iron levels etc that may make mc more likely if you get pg straight away? Does anyone anything about this?

Thanks!

PS Cunty the last few episodes of GoT are the shit! I would really recommend you catch before you get a spoiler on social media.

Fizzy I had a hysteroscopy and the same time as my laparoscopy but I wasn't sure what was the goal of it? What are they trying to find out?

[EricaJ]

Hi Bugs

Thanks for your quick response! I was actually prescribed aspirin (75mg) for the last few months of TTC. I am on cyclogest and aspirin from ovulation. Unfortunately it hasn't prevented my last mc but since the issue seemed to be a massive blood clot in my uterus which affected/broke the gestational sack, some sort of blood thinner may be the answer.

I currently live in an Eastern African country and I am being treated in a private clinic here. My gyno/fertility specialist is really great and I feel very well looked after but he always encourages me to do my own research too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I think that if I am not pregnant by the autumn we'll look into IVF. I used to feel apprehensive and scared of getting to the 'IVF point' but at this stage, I would do anything to be honest. Nearly 3 years of TTC is not good for the ol' mental health.

[barkingtreefrog]

erica from what I've read and was told at the epu you're supposedly more fertile after a mc as your body is 'set up' for being pg.

bugs I considered self prescribing asprin but wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Wish I had now, it'll be another thing to add to the 'what if' list if this doesn't work!

fankle & fizzy I'm trying to ignore anything is happening until the scan in 2 weeks, like DCW is successfully managing. He's in complete denial. I can't mention anything vaguely related without being cut off with 'let's not get excited, just see what happens'. Much easier to do when it's not your body things may or may not be happening in!!!

cunty do you have an early scan booked?

[barkingtreefrog]

I think you're confusing me with someone else bugs, I've never had a good scan. I lost my first baby at 7 weeks, scan showed 6 week size and no heartbeat.
I wouldn't have taken aspirin without checking with the consultant, just annoyed I forgot to ask. I was more concerned about insisting on the progesterone as I was convinced that was my problem last time.

Right. Downing tools and going to the shops to find some lovely ingredients for dinner tonight. Sun is shining so I will do more work tomorrow instead when the forecast is pish. Make hay while the sun shines and all that....

[FizzyFeet]

A definite "no" to self prescribing from me, too. Even though it's "only" aspirin, I still wouldn't. And no beating self up, either

Re the "more fertile after mc" thing, it may well be true but I feel for those who take it hard if they don't get diffed straight away like me. It took six months after the first mc to get diffed again.

erica ivf wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Everyone reacts differently, of course, but for me it did at least mean something concrete was happening. You're right - long term ttc can be a real headfuck.

My hysteroscopy is to check the structure of my womb to see if there's anything causing the thin lining, and to take a biopsy in case I have uterine tb. Woo hoo! It's been a year since they last had a rummage (ectopic #2 was a year ago yesterday) so I guess it's about time they had another look. It will be my fourth gynae op in 2.5 years.

[EricaJ]

That's encouraging barking! I can't imagine having to wait 3-6 months to try again!

Fizzy Years before I even started thinking about TTC (and what did I fill my days with back then, I wonder) a friend had 3 attempts at IVF and according to her, a really horrible experience every time. It also really affected her relationship with her partner and they nearly split up.

I think I was always remembering that story when thinking about IVF. However, I am reading some really positive experiences in here. And even if they failed, our two IUI attempts gave me and my husband some head space. It was finally all in the hands of the professionals and we didn't need to faff around with OPKs and scheduling sex and then getting frustrated when it didn't work month after month!

[CuntyChops]

I don't have an early scan booked yet; when is the best time to have one? I'll be exactly 5 weeks tomorrow and have been menkulling all day - the last CP didn't get beyond 35 days so I want to wait until after that point to do anything.

I feel absolutely shattered, and afternoon lessons are quite a struggle. Every time I get cramps I get The Fear that I'm about to start bleeding, which isn't helped by the fact that... TMI ALERT... it all feels more wet than usual. Is this normal?

[barkingtreefrog]

bugs phew, I'm taking my need for pantyliners as a good sign then . It is very worrying though with the bleeding at the beginning of the week, I keep thinking it's back again .

cunty how did you get pg? I'm losing track I can't remember! Clinics generally like to do an early scan to check it's in the right place and to look for multiples, given the higher risks associated with fertility treatment. My scan will be at 6+3, which makes me a little nervous as we had the 'no heartbeat but come back in a week, it might just be too early' experience last time, which was pure hell. Definitely wait for 7 weeks if you've got the option.

I'm trying to cook spicy bean burgers with sweet potato wedges. I'm finding them rather time consuming. Trying to distract myself instead of feeling of DCW who's out at circuit training without me. It'll all be worth it of course if it sticks....
Going swimming again tomorrow morning .

[CuntyChops]

Got PG naturally so there shouldn't be any need for an early scan other than for reassurance. I might hold on until the middle of next week to book a scan - how far in advance do I need to book it for a private scan?

Thanks Bugs - that's really good to know.

Barking - sorry you're having such a stressful time of it at the moment. Hopefully the time before your scan passes really quickly so you can get some good news. Good idea to go for a bit of distraction!

[Fankletastic]

Cunty I phoned the private clinic on a Monday morning and got an appointment for the Wednesday afternoon. The doctor who did the scan was v nice and said if I was still worried after seeing the heartbeat (because of what happened last time) I could make another appointment for 2 weeks later and he wouldn't charge. So go for it- you never know, the doctor might be a good'un.

And yes, the wetness! It still has me running to the loo to check several times a day.

[cherrycoconut]

Wowzers this is an angst ridden thread of the newly diffed currently. Sending arm punches and cockles of comfort by the bucket load to see you through and hoping that the BESH gargoyle is watching over you all. Pant snot and BESH courage guys!

Barking lucky old DCW able to switch into denial mode so easily. Easier said than done no yes if you're not the fucker actually going through all this shit. I feel a little angry on your behalf.

I've had an emo couple of days, not TTC related, some other shizzle but ROCH and the gin have been amazing at picking up the pieces. Pecker up now and looking forward to our embryoscope apt next week.

The Embryoscope is basically a special camera used in IVF that takes photos of the fertilised eggs every 20 mins. This means they can remain un disturbed in the warm nest of incubation without an embryologist pulling them out to look at them every once in a while. The photos give them more of an idea of the rates of development which is also an indicator of quality. Having it can up your chances of success by another 10%.

It's £400 even on an NHS cycle but we've decided that as we're playing a numbers game we're gonna go for it. So we're off to see the professor to talk about it and get our fertilised cells booked in for watching :)